2008 in Perspective

2008 has been a fairly remarkable year for me. I started my yoga teacher training, wrote my MBA dissertation, got a new job, passed my MBA, passed my teacher training......and became proprietress of an online store - the latter being the final culmination of my MBA and yoga training combined. The year started out very challenging especially at work, but like the saying, "trial by fire", well it's through fire that moulds character. With all the extra activities through the year it's also a test of physical limits. Outcome of this test? One needs a lot of collagen supplements, face masks and plenty of retail therapy.

2008 is and was a good year. Because of all the learnings I've encountered. Yes economy sucks, but even from that there is a lesson to be learnt - 1) no money is safe, except under the pillow, and 2) it's probably better to invest in a birkin bag vs any other stock.

Size matters

C remarked to me how he doesn't understand why a small little bag would be housed in such a huge box (alongside with stuffing paper etc). It's very simple really - because size DOES matter. Not size of the designer bag, but size of the designer PAPER bag that the item is put into. The bigger the box encasing the designer item, the bigger the paper bag, the better.

C: So you mean so say, the doesn't matter if the item inside is a tiny keychain, it's more important they put the item into a huge box??
Me: Yep.
C: err....and why?
Me: Because the size of the box and the corresponding size of the paper bag gives the illusion that the item inside is a big and expensive item.
C: So literally you can have nothing in the box, as long as there is a huge box and a huge paper bag?
Me: Yep. Not just a paper bag, but a paper bag with a sticker or ribbon sealing the top.
C: and why??
Me: Simple. So this way we get much better service when we walk into other designer stores.

Yes, it's a fact of life. People judge you by appearances, and yes, the number and size of the designer paper bags one carry. The service is attentive and prompt, you can almost see the quick calculative gleam in the sales assts eyes when they spy you walking into the boutique with 'bags' in tow. So in our shamelessly materialistic society today, size does matter. Nevermind what's inside.

Gastronomic Orgasm

How to achieve G.A. (and I don't mean general anesthesia):

1. Read Chubby Hubby. Orgasm ultimate via food sex on a blog.
2. Subscribe to Appetite magazine. The oh so ooh la-la food styling on the cover is always a trigger for rapid heartbeats and orgasmic bloodrush.
3. Watch Nigella Lawson. Need I say more?

Today my haul at Borders equals 2 cookbooks, 2 food periodicals (Appetite and Singapore's Best 100 Restaurants) and 1 yoga book. Hmm, maybe that's the way life is - I enjoy my yoga very much but maybe because I'm at practice so regularly I feel less desire to possess much reading material on it. On the other hand, the dream kitchen and the dream food are things I don't use much but highly covet. Life is about wanting what we cannot get. Only then will we desire it more.

Speaking of yoga, since I've completed my teaching certification, I'm suddenly struck with the reality that I do have to write my sports resume. I've got a career resume I'm really proud of, and to suddenly have to write another resume as a rookie is almost stunning. So out come the stash of certificates of workshop attendance etc etc. One thing good about being anal and having a rather neat filing system since my school days, is at least I know where everything is kept.

Cooking up for lost time

It seems in the last 10 days I have cooked up enough to make up for the lost 1 year of kitchen time. On my accomplishment menus were potato skins (Gary Rhodes), couscous salad (Tessa Kiros), Vietnamese fish cakes (Red Lantern), Hot german potato salad and Kimchi fried rice. The latter 2 are self-adapt recipes. All in, I must have cooked for over 20 people. Most went well except the fish cakes which went somewhat too liberally with the fish sauce, oops.

My poor dogs are wondering how come they don't get a piece of all these action. But just as my friend John noted when he saw both Bis and Hol recently, they kinda look like chunky monkeys already.

Ok time for dogs to diet.

Blend blend blend

My newest acquisition in kitchen equipment - the Philips HR2068 blender which suceeds the my old Philips blender which met an unfortunate and untimely demise when attempting to obliterate fish paste for Xmas dinner. The old faithful had served me well for over 4 years, nevermind that in the last 1 yr I hardly cooked. The adrenaline and excitement of standing in the household section of Takashimaya with all these beautiful offerings of kitchen gadgets and once again I began to dream (and oh so dream) of my dream kitchen which would be the size of a 3 room HDB flat (it's only a dream ok!!!). Ok dream aside, it's a nice feeling when brand promoters rush to attend to you in hopes of convincing you their products are the best for your needs. The HR2068 costs twice the old faithful did, but it's more powerful and more zippy. Oooh I like.

When in Recession...

When in Recession, spend spend spend. Apparently this is what Singaporeans do. Recession? What recession? Looking at the tremendous crowd at the Isetan VIP preview, it looks like half of Singapore is a Isetan VIP. It's so crowded one does not walk - one simply gets pushed around by the hordes of shoppers. Recession?? Cashiers are ringing up purchases non-stop it seems everyone is buying enough to populate half of China. Even worse, there's no service when you want one. I feel sorry for the poor sales assistants.

I love retail therapy, retail is good. But going to a sale so crowded is no therapy. My total damage at Isetan - $18 for groceries. I guess I'm one of the few genuinely 'recession' customers of Isetan.

Peripheral Vision

Guys generally do not hae peripheral vision. They see straight ahead, focus, and zoom. Girls on the other hand, have in born ability of 180 deg pheri vision, can see left and right and center, focus on SALE sign, and zoom all over the place, and still remember which shops on left and right still need to check out.

But recently have found out there is maybe 1 exception for guys - that pheri vision is possible for them (or maybe it's only for C) when guy is driving the car down the expressway, and female passenger flashes body part at the same time a red sportscar is zooming down on the right lane. C's apparently has very superior 180 deg vision; in that 1 split second, identify the make model and even exact car plate license of the speeding red car, as well as identify the flashing body part.

When female tries to do the same thing, she gets a hole in the retina. See lah.

It's a Bird, it's a err....

Was picnic-ing at upper seletar when I spotted a white bird perched at the very lush green slopes of the golf course overlooking the reservoir.

Me (to C): Look look! there's a white bird there!
C: yep
Me: It's a...!!
(now, at this point I was about to say PELICAN, but of course considering the recent animal disasters I've had recently I very smartly decide to let my sentence trail off).
C (smirking, and waiting for me to launch into disaster): It's an ibis.
Me (blank look): Ahhh..... (goddamn I truly don't know what an Ibis is. But now at least I know what it looks like).
Me: err, i was about to say Pelican....
C: (sigh). well if you had said heron or stork, you would have come close. But Pelican, that's really quite far from it.
Me: well maybe the pelican migrated, since it must be cold where it was residing...
(note again - if one recognizes my 'animal speech' patterns by now, this is the start of an impending animal disaster).
C: The nearest Pelican is found in Australia! So it flew from oz to sg? That's quite a far distance to travel to warm climate
(not to mention it's Summer in Oz now)...

At this point I decide to smile very sweetly and offer C some food from our picnic basket, before I had a chance to explain that maybe the "pelican" hitched a ride with a Qantas or SQ flight to SG. Or even took a boat.

Some things are just better left unsaid. At least C didn't have a headache this time.

Relaunch

Xmas party at my good friend's house is always a smashingly fun affair - lots of food, sweets, gift exchanges. And I finally made my kitchen re-debut with a potato skins recipe from my latest Gary Rhodes acquisition, 365. Fuss-free and excellent recipes for everyday living. Tessa Kiros' couscous salad was reintroduced, I've always had good success with Tessa's recipes and am a proud collector and owner of every of her cookbooks. Now with a little more time since having completed by yoga teacher training, I'd reckon I could be spending more time in my kitchen and making C's tummy a very happy one.

As a side remark - Paragon Marketplace is ridiculously expensive. Prices are premium even to Jason's by 10%. But did it look like it was recession in there? Obviously not.

How many Cows make a Birkin Bag?

Poor C is as sick as a dog - chills and muscle aches, headaches and sore throat. Brave enough yet to pick me up from yoga class, only to be rewarded by ....yes, yet another painful conversation. Topic of contention was how many cows makes a birkin bag.

C: why don't you find me a cow so I can shoot it, you can take the leather to make a bag?
Me: but you're the guy. Guys are supposed to do the manly thing by hunting and shooting animals while their helpless gfs just wait prettily for a present.
C: I already gave you a cow. Don't you have a cow?
Me: Ya.....but that one cannot make a bag...
C: there are NO (real) cows in singapore. I checked already.
Me: I'm sure you can find some at Dairy farm
C: Dairy farm got no cows. I checked already
Me: Got got!! I'm sure of it...
C: where...?
Me: There's a goat farm at Dairy Farm...
C: OMG!!! A Goat is *NOT* a cow ok!! Cows and goats are totally different animals!!
Me: (sudden realization dawns) .....but they produce milk anyway...
C: Yes! but goat is not a cow and cow is not a goat
Me: err...I thought you are sick?
C: yes I'm sick. I'm very sick. However being sick doesn't mean I'm stupid.....(moans. groans in pain).

so there it is again, poor bf with who looked like he was 1 sec away from vomiting blood. Mentally thinking OH WHY OH WHY OH WHY does he have to suffer this when he went all the way to pick me and send me home.

Moral of story? That's what bfs are for. ahaha.

I am Zen

It's official, I'm certifiably zenned. (or pretend to be zen). I passed my yoga teacher training (with distinction). Woohoo. Am so karmically proud of myself. Now I just need to find some guinea pigs......

Childhood dreams

Car prices are falling these days, friends and acquaintances would often ask if I should not already be buying a car. Well, the thing is, due to a childhood "obligation", I can't just buy any car. During my budding teenage days where teens often dream of ambitions and the adult life to follow, I promised myself (amongst many other things) that my first car would be a BMW. Of course it's already been 20 yrs since. So yes cars are cheap, petrol is cheaper, and taxes (forget about taxes, it's ridiculous).....

But because I have to stay true to my childhood commitment of a BMW, so still no car yet, cuz it really doesn't make sense to buy a BM when one can get a decently good jap car (C swears he will burn down any Nissan march parked outside his gate). And here's my other rationale:

- cost of monthly financing = 1 tods bag (or 2 tods shoes)
- 1 yr of financing = 1 birkin bag
- birkin bag value is recession proof (proven)
- birkin will appreciate or hold steady. Car will depreciate
- birkin does not need to pay parking or taxes
- car is a status symbol. so is a birkin
- carry birkin bag into upmarket designer boutique will award one instant megastar attention from sales assts. Can't say the same by simply flashing bmw or jap car keys.

Yep. I think, BMW won't be part of my inventory for a long time to come. Thanks to childhood dreams.

On the other hand, Birkin (nor Tod's) were part of childhood dreams. Look how much quicker I'm progressing here. hah.

Heroine once more

I saved the world again. Yes I did - I did my part for world peace and etc etc by donating blood. Other heroic acts I performed this week?

1. Contributed to the growth of the economy (yes, by shopping).
2. stood up for equal rights for lower ranked colleagues in my team.
3. fight for salary adjustment of lowly paid overworked employee.

Damn I'm so proud of myself.

Passions and Desires

For all the recent rant and raves about shopping and my obsessions, finally I am drawn back to my real true love - books. I must say that Borders' strategy with those steep coupons have snagged a loyalist fan like me for life (for as long as they give steep discounts). So here I am armed with coupons and my latest lovely cookbook acquisition - Lygon Street.
. Only a few true loves in my life - food and books have always been beloved childhood companions, and like old friends, we are seldom apart. Lygon street is another testament of the fact, though C often bemoans nowadays I haven't been cooking for nearly a year and is dying for me to get back to action. Indeed, Lygon is the 12th cookbook I have acquired this year, and have not even touched a recipe from. Yes well, with love comes many desires, and yes I dearly desire to have that Dream Kitchen.

And speaking of Dream Kitchens, check out Chubby Hub's latest kitchen pix. Is that *GASP* 2 Kitchen Aids??

So, birkin or dream kitchen? When one is in doubt of which to choose, always ask the question , "which would you sell your soul to the devil for"?

Ans: Dream Kitchen.

Since no shopping in HK

So what happens if didn't spend shopping money in HK? Spend in SG lor. Crabtree & Evelyn sale (yes, biscuits for the colleagues), where hoardes of shoppers crammed into the store to get good bargains (umm, is it really recession????). And of course, my weak inner victim who (as usual) drawn to signs of SALE splashed across boutique windows, am now the proud owner of more new shoes. No doubt my phd shopping friends are laughing their heads off when obviously they got better bargains at the Peddar warehouse in HK where designer shoes on steep sale costs the equivalent of 10 big macs. As for the Birkin - well I went to the Hermes store to peek - and I can say, there's no recession in that store, cuz it's business as usual. It's eye opening for me to see customers paying for purchases of ten grand in cold hard cash. I thought it's only in movies that people ever carry around stacks of money in their designer purses whilst tottering around in their designer spandex and chanel high heel shoes. But ok, maybe in real life it does happen at Hermes. And probably LV too.

How not to spend money in HK

Easy. Go with hardworking very switched on boss for business trip. My record spending is 2 cups of coffee, 1 sandwich and 1 yoghurt. Total less than $25. The only shopping I did was a 5 mins rush at the Wing wah biscuits at the airport. Total damage? Under $40. Obviously my good friends who are the phd shoppers all think this is a disaster - how can go HK and NOT spend any money??

Actually not bad lah, at least help me save monies for the birkin. If it ever arrives of course.

One Night in HK

Well here I am in HK, for 1 nite only on a business trip. Moral of story?

1) don't travel with boss (cuz how to say to boss, can I extend more nites so I can go shopping), and
2) don't travel with boss especially if boss is workaholic (7.10pm I am still here in the office waiting for boss)
3) don't travel with boss (cuz boss is a real workaholic, even his lunch time is so efficient aka grab sandwich and go).

My new boss is a really really nice boss, but very switched on and with engine 250km/hr. I thought my engine is already ferrari, but his engine is obviously nasa spacecraft.

Double standards

The world is not fair. We know it. Even though we try not to believe it or ignore it. Especially when it comes to government. So town councils lost some $16million of taxpayers money (or rather, HDB dweller's money). So how? Nothing. No apology. No big deal they said. Public service is anonymous with beauracracy. The amount of paperwork is designed to be enormous so they can keep masses of people gainfully employed. You want to make an enquiry? Go here, take a number, fill in a form, come back in 10 weeks time (if you are lucky). To check on progress, call this other number G. Why is so and so and that is so? Please contact this other agency M. Other agency will say it's not us, please call another office K. Office K tells us the policy is like that one. Government cannot be wrong. Or can they? Or gainfully employed employees cannot be bothered? How much inefficiencies and inflated costs are a result of C.Y.As (cover.your.asses). You want transparency? Sorry, not from the government. Actually, no government in the world can be transparent. That's how governments work.

More and more....flabbery

We often wish for more. In today's society, the concept of MORE is better (except more work, more stress). So back at ulu Jurong when with my ex-company for 3 yrs I bemoaned the sore lack of eating choices. Whatever was available was so bad, we didn't eat much anyway. One would call this a natural diet I suppose. So I wished and wished for more choices, that one day I would come back to civilisation (having been spoiled rotten being located at beach road for 7 years) and encounter food heaven once more. And so it did, as The One Up There must have heard my silent pleas, sent me to HarbourFront. Other than Beach road, Suntec or Raffles place, there isn't another giant area with so much to eat and so many choices. Of course Heaven does come with a price --> an expanding waistline. Indulging in snacks in mid morning and afternoon, and anytime in between just because food places are so convenient (not to mention an extremely well-stocked and impressive pantry) put some weight on me within a month. We can be in denial, but even denial is hard to sustain when one's brand new pants worn for the first time, becomes hard to button that a "sucking in" of the offending areas is needed. Not to mention a very uncomfortable butt-flossing sensation each step walked that I have to constantly remember to 'suck in' at all times in order to create some breathing space. Uh huh. Macdonald's came up with a new double (or triple?) big mac, I'm sure they must have been inspired by the triple or more layer of flab resembling patties of my belly.

Houston, we have a problem.

Maybe it's time to join a belly dancing troupe. My only consolation of course, is C's belly is still bigger than mine. ha ha.

M.B.A.

Finally I've earned official recognition of my right and capacity as a Master(of).Bullshit.Ability. They'll even print my name on a certificate, and then I can frame it or plague it up and join the other masses of bullshitters out there. Of course, it does look very nice on my resume as well. OM Cow.

Picture perfect

Some 6 or 8 months ago I bought a swarovski keychain cum photo holder. I am using the keychain of course, but never filled the photoframe with pictures. Simply because I don't know how to print out pictures that thumbnail size (of course there is also the matter of HOW to transfer photos from my hp to the PC. Which I will not really admit to... yes, because I can be THAT stupid).

Ok so I figured out the bluetooth bit. Err but how to print pictures? Recently someone mentioned that hello, just go to any kodak or photo shop, stick a thumbdrive in and voila. I'm like, huh, like that ah? So finally I did it -- went to the shop. Only to stand there looking a bit lost. So helpful shop auntie (as in really Auntie) came over to ask me if I needed help. Of course auntie was flabbergasted for all of 30 secs when I told her I want to print pics but dont' know how. The look on her face clearly said, "Which alien universe are you from"? I don't think auntie meets many younger, well educated people who don't know how to stick their thumbdrive into a photo printing machine (and by the way, I'm equally flabbergasted at how these machines print pictures IMMEDIATELY). Even shop Uncle took pity on me and tried to help me out, by volunteering to cut my pictures into pocket sizes. Guess he was afraid I'd end up cutting it incorrectly myself.

Anyway, now I have it, 2 photos in my swarovski photo-keychain. Yay. Now, how do I transfer pics into my iTouch?

The mystery of Doraemon, and a Marsupial

A passing car with a Doraemon sticker triggered a funny conversation between C and myself. C claims doraemon is a cat, while I antagonistically bemused that it could be a sea creature.

C: Xiaodingdang is a sea lion??? OMG... does sealions have feet?
Me: Well err...sea lions move around the ground, surely they have feet to help them...
C: HELLO. Sealions have fins okay? Does XDD have fins?????
Me: Well maybe XDD is an otter..

and then on and on in went, I tried to explain to C that XDD could possibly be a ferret, a dog with a flat face (and yes, dogs have whiskers ok!), or a sloth. And finally, XDD is most likely a wallaby. C's head was pounding so badly he looked like he would wind down the window, hang his neck out and cut it off anytime.

C: Do you even KNOW what a wallaby is???
Me: err...is found in Australia. It's definitely not a kangaroo.
C: So what is a wallaby?
Me: well it's not a koala. A wallaby is definitely an animal...
C: (sigh). A wallaby is a marsupial, not just an animal. You know what a marsupial is??
Me: (groping with evasive tactics) A marsupial is not a reptile, neither is it a mammal..
C: So what is a marsupial?
Me: (happily) It's got a long snout!
C: Arrgh....not all marsupials have snouts ok. You know what it is or not?
Me: A wallaby is a marsupial...
C: (Aww my aching head)...

Poor guy was definitely going to commit car suicide any minute, he looked like he was ready to crash his beloved car just to get rid of the very painful conversation.

Actually, err, I do know what a marsupial is. It's just that for that moment, i innocently temporarily forgot lah. Really. Truly. It was just buried in the depths of my very brilliant mind that's all. As for C, I left him with 4 tablets of panadol for that aching head.

Shopping madness

Orchard road was strangely quiet today. Even the Metro 20% storewide which usually attracts hoardes of women is ignored, and cashiers and counter attendants look bored. I remarked to my gf that maybe this is the true sign of an economy in recession and belt tightening measures. But lol and behold, turns out most of the Orchard road crowd has descended upon the Club 21 massive annual sale. My motivation to go all the way to the sale (I generally dislike mass bazaars like such in general because the crowds stress me out) is just to procure a lovely top which I had spied months ago, but rather ridiculously priced. What was the sale like? --> C.R.A.Z.Y.

Crazy because 30 mins queue to get into the building. It's the giant PIT building which our lovely country built for the F1 race. The crowd inside was still bearable. 2hrs for shopping; and the grand finale, a whopping 1.hrs in the cashiers queue. Unbelievable. I don't recall ever queuing more than 45 mins for anything. Ok ok so if it was a Tiffany sale I'd gladly maybe even queue overnight. The sale is crazy, but incredible. Most stuff going for less than $50, it's no wonder people are spending like they are at a wet market. My best buy - a pair of Stella McCartney raffia plantforms for $150 discounted from $1200. Frankly speaking, who would pay $1200 for a pair of shoes made from raffia string?????!!! Anyhow, I'm very pleased with my finds especially when I had to guess if the clothes would fit me.

Lessons learnt:
1. Bring cash. Whopping amounts of it (to avoid long credit card queues).
2. Bring water. Else be prepared to tahan all the way (not necessarily a bad thing, since don't have to go to loo).
3. Wearing tight fitting clothes definitely good idea. So easier to try clothings on.
4. Bring a friend. So we can take turns queuing and shopping.. saves time!!!

Singapore in recession? Maybe. But Shopaholics recession, definitely not.

Now I desperately need a leg massage. Anyone wanna buy me an Osim leg massager?

Pro Shoppers

38 emails in 4 hrs and we're still talking about shopping. That's how intensely focused we are. My good friend, frankly, can earn her stripes and instant PhD in Shopping psychology if there is ever such a course. In fact, I think we would be darn good proxy buyers - those types you often see at auctions bidding on behalf of a mysterious person behind the mobile phone. And there it was today, a perfect example of proxy purchasing by my friend who was armed with her trusty blackberry, and me on my laptop. Thousands of miles away from each other, separated by an ocean, but we were unstoppable.

I think this is a great second career. Now we just need to find people who will hire us.

Trumpet blowing

So yes, I suppose from time to time each one of us would at some point find some unobtrusive deep dark corner, doing a quick 360-scan of the immediate surroundings before breaking wind rather satisfyingly. But it's something else altogether when farter does not exercise due diligence by scanning surroundings to ensure innocent victims are not compromised. So there I was innocently (after yoga, mind you, and in a blissful state) standing at the front of the restaurant waiting to give my takeaway order when I heard a very loud, offending, drum-beat rolling, lengthy "trumpet blow" that crescendo'd into a high note before the burst into grand finale.....all exercised by a fat, bespectacled chap in front of me. Blissful farter was too busy yapping into the phone to see the very dirty look I threw his way. Of course my blissful zen-like state quickly evaporated into one of panic. This is one situation where the yogic state of TAKE A DEEP BREATH and BREATHE is not relevant and must not be exercised.

Bread-talk

I must be undergoing some sort of wierd food phase. As you know I recently succumbed to triple cheeseburgers, making it a record no. of burgers in a day PLUS achieving this record whilst being vegetarian (Huh. I know). Today I set a new bread record. How much bread can a vegetarian eat in a day? Dunno, but I had 3 large slices of bread and 4 breadtalk buns. Total 7. And still have stomach for nasi lemak for lunch. And right now, I'm still hungry. Huh.

Italian Sausages

The last time I checked, I thought I owned 2 Italian greyhounds, not 2 italian sausages. Seems like possession is 9/10ths of the law. One tries to possess 2 dog beds, the other just possessed my bed.

Books books and more books

Borders 30% coupons. How can I resist? Especially not when Borders preferred members get an extra 10% off. I acquired what must be my 35th (or 36, 37,??) cookbooks. Venezia by the Tessa Kiros, and Skye Glencell's A Year in my Kitchen, and My Favourite Ingredients. Now, cookbooks I have plenty. But time? Time is like a commodity. When will I have time (and when will that designer kitchen come true?)?

It's a bird, a plane, no it's Lamborghini

Spotted these beauties outside the Hilton recently. Very yummy colour candy pretty. So in my imaginery world, let's see, one for me, one for C, one for Biscuit (who will use it to run Holly over).

Melbourne

Six years since I've been in Melbourne. The last time I visited, I met my dog Biscuit who was just only a 3 day old puppy then. Time flies. Don't think the city has changed much, but certainly think it's a very nice place to live, retire, or raise dogs. Speaking of dog, there's always Slick, who is probably the most well travelled beanie in the whole world. Here he is enjoying his ride on SQ business class. . And another where he shared half of my dinner. . As for my shopping conquest in Melbourne? Well I should say I proudly spent more on biscuits and cheese than I did shopping in Japan.

Welcome to the Family

I don't know how many people start their new jobs by attending a 3-day conference where the VP of the company actually put up a 1-page powerpoint slide with my name in big fonts welcoming me as a new addition to 'the family'. So there I was standing up to the applause of some 100 plus sales and logistics delegates from all over the world, waving my hands at them as if I'm Miss Universe. After which I have to attend a company gala dinner on the same night so I can make a lot of new friends. Gotta admit, these guys do it in style, and do it well. Oh, and I should be so proud of myself for rushing home, get showered, changed and dolled up all accomplished within 30 mins. But it's also in instances like these that I realise 1) I don't have too many dresses to wear, 2) I need more glamourous accessories, ....and most importantly, despite my fervent shoe buying habits, I actually do not have a pair of glam high heeled blinky blink shoes. And suddenly I recall ah V's new red Loboutins. Guess now I have reason to buy another pair of shoes. Heehee.

Osaka'd Girl

Japan is a great place to be vacationing. Armed with only flight tickets, hotel, and a JR rail pass plus a little spirit of adventure is all one needs. I must say I am most pleased with myself on the choice of accomodation; Swissotel Nankai Osaka could not have been a better choice. Direct express train access to airport, subway and right smack next to Dontonbori and shopping and nightlife districts. Does not hurt that Takashimaya is next door either. Random highlights of my 8 day journey:

Namba station (or any major train station for that matter) - they could film the next "Survivor: Japan rail station" here. Serious underground city with amazing complex mass of passageways one could get brain tumour almost trying to navigate it.

Takashimaya - err, for mature aunties only. Not quite fashionable like the one we have here. But fun experience grabbing 50% off last-minute bento box specials pitting our kiasu-ness with all the other oba-sans.

Cofes - afternoon teas are serious business here. No matter where, the afternoon coffee and cake sets are amazing. Slurp. Why would Starbucks think they could survive here?

Kobe beef - Navigating 2hours in train ride and walks to date this melt in your mouth cow meat. As C declared to the chef when he requested for the Wagyu dinner course (it was lunch time), he didn't travel all this way just to eat ordinary lunch time beef. I of course, had to renounce my vegetarian vows for the time being.

Movies - wahlaueh, $20 for a movie ticket. It makes GV gold class here a good bargain in comparison.

Vending machines - are everywhere. But how come every drink costs nearly SGD 2???? I start to miss the provision shops here in SG.

Himeji castle - a bit of Amazing Race style fun. We arrived at the station 20 mins before castle closing time. Pit Stop - either run 1km to the castle, or rent a bicycle at the bicycle park and cycle our way there. We chose cycle. Amidst nearly crashing into hordes of people, trees and couple of poles (me of course), and yelling at the entrance gatekeeper to "WAIT!!!!!!!!!" and with C leaping over the fence ala Mission Impossible style, we did make it of course. But damn in my past life I better not be a princess or maidservant at the castle. Those castle steps are not made for modern people.

Nara - Todaji temple and the giant 14m tall buddha inside is fantastic. Err, was temple built first or buddha first? Nara deer park is amazing. Hundreds of deers roaming freely amongst humans. There are snob deers, bambi deers, old deers, horny deers, zen deers and hungry deers. Humans come in hordes to feed them food, there's no need for park keepers to even feed them.

Universal studios - one can actually buy an Express pass (i.e jump queue) pass for $50 to get first in line for any rides. Gotta admit, C was right on this one. Would have been more fun if everything in the park weren't in Japanese. Best part? The studio picture we took. Gotta post it up later.

Food - curry rice, sushi, sashimi, tonkatsu, soba, omu rice, okonomiyaki, kobe beef/ teppanyaki, bento boxes. We ate it all. Food is amazing. Not cheap, but it's great. Gotta say McDonald's and Starbucks is consistent with standards in Singapore and was the only 2 places we could comfortably order without fumbling.

Fashion - Jap girls are really pretty. Fashion is a unique style (woohoo, I put my new boots to great use). Everyone there had huge fluttery dolly mascara'd eyes with sexy japanese curled hair and fair fair skin. Skirts were short short short but strangely enough no cleavage is seen anywhere. My unique fashion sense would be very happy in Japan.

Toys - figurine toys are big business here. These girl anime figurines are probably the fantasy expression of all these pervy japanese men. All come with big DD boobs, cleavage popping attires, tiny waist and pert bottoms and very suggestive poses. Price of possession? $300 and above. Err, maybe they should just invest in some porn magazines.....

Shopping - ok ok my friends would be aghast here. My total acquisition is only 1 pair of glasses, 1 belt, 1 box of sweets and 1 bag. Serious underspending. I think, better to shop in HK. hahah.

More later.

Dream Kitchen

Chubby Hubby is my all time fav blog. I love food, I love eating, I don't eat much but i still love food. One of the hardest part of being a vegetarian is missing out on cooking beautiful meat infused dishes for my always veryhappytoeat bf (C is also capital for CARNIVORE). Chubby's latest blog on his new Dream Kitchen, is the blog that takes the cake. I am jealous, green with envy right down to the dirt clogged pores of my toenails and have moss growing out of my ears. I would plead, beg and grovel for THAT kitchen. My heart is palpitating my palms are sweaty, I feel as if I have just seen a glimpse of GOD. If I had my own apartment, half would be a walk-in wardrobe, the other half would be a kitchen. And if I had friends like Chubby's who makes such beautiful dinners, I'd surely have died and gone to food heaven.

ok ok but at least I have a good friend who does have a rather superbly equipped kitchen, which we love to use. And some day the wagyu beef and white truffle oil will come.

Vegetation is good

I'm unemployed and loving it. Well actually I love the fact that I am unemployed and will still get a nice paycheck at the end of this month. These things don't happen often but when it does, better love every moment of it. I wake up, nice breakfast, go to a good yoga class with all the other non-working tai tais, a lovely quiet dimsum lunch, shopping etc. This is the life. Orchard road is quiet since it's Monday. Then I realise as everyone else is busy working, there are still a lot of people out in the streets not (working) and enjoying their lives. I could go to the spa, facial, do my hair, shop, drink tea with my friends. This is THE life. Vegging out is just great. Rot rot and rot.

Triple

I've been 99% vegetarian since June, and I'm proud of it. Not as difficult as one thinks and there's plenty of food for the vegetarian, really. Except today which the colleagues had a going-away party for me, and at my request (thanks to C's corny suggestion) that we go to MacDonald's for a farewell Happy Meal, toy included. See, Happy Meal apparently only comes in nuggets, cheeseburger and chicken fillet. Huh. Ok so I break my vow of meatless celibacy and chomp down a cheeseburger. Hmm, not bad. Of course tonight at yoga I suddenly find my arse really heavy, and had difficulty jumping around or balancing upside down as I usually can. Must be the cheeseburger. OM yes I have sinned.

Since I already sinned, and have bad processed fat swimming around my big arse, I headed off to Macdonald's to get a DOUBLE cheeseburger. That makes 3 beef patties and cheese today. I have never eaten so much MacD's in a day. Well, that's another way of looking at maximum (sin) utility.

OM cheeseburger.

F@cking funny video

Sarah Silverman on fucking Matt Damon. This is really hilarious. It even won an Emmy.


And Jimmy Kimmel's response video gets 10-stars and all thumbs up!


alright. So some Americans do have talent. The best of them are on YouTube.

121

I just noticed (on the right side of my blog layout), I've been blogging since 2006. 121 posts in that year. Wow, time really flies. Some of those 2006 entries are hilarious, brings back good memories. And yes, Bis is STILL tortured by Holly the bimbo. And my bf will still swear that I drive him crazy. Some things just never change.

America got (no) Talent

Americans are obsessed with publicity. Just look at how many reality shows they have, and all these other talk shows. And then there are these supposed talent shows. So you think you can dance? Ya, like a giraffe maybe. American Idol? You mean American Be Idiots. America's next top model? More like Top Bitchfights. Ok ok so some of them do have genuine talent. But the latest one on America Got Talent.....I just have to say, sometimes the formula is overused, overtired, and overly stupid. Americans will do anything for publicity. Take for example the acrobatic stunts. Hello USA, half of China's child population can do that. America got Talent? Yep, one does need a lot of talent to cause a global financial panic and a couple of banks to collapse. Actually, that's pretty much lack of talent demonstrated to the extreme. And now there's this massive $700b bailout plan using taxpayers money and it's hailed as extraordinary. Ya, extraordinarily unbrilliant. $700b will feed a lot of starving countries, rebuild a lot of flagging economies and generate a lot of jobs. And even land another team on the Mars. All for the deserving. $700b for saving the rest of the world -- good, but $700b to save silly america because they are so dumb is going to be a hard pill to swallow for many of us.

Maximum Utility

I gave up downloading K-dramas since my eyes really hurt watching it from a PC screen. Besides, a giant flatscreen tv is waaaaaayyyy more fun to be watching any dramas on. I'm in between dramas now, i.e taking a butt-break (where butt temperature is raised approx 1 deg from sitting on sofa for > 8 hrs), and not to mention causing a sagging dent in one section of the sofa. Butt breaks may last anything from 3 days to 3 weeks. But that really means just not renting any dvds during this period. As for K-dramas on cable tv, since I already paid for the monthly subscription, don't watch = loogi right? So in the interest of maximum utility, might as well watch. Otherwise, subscribe to cable for what?

But really, the ones who get maximum (and even over utilize) utility from cable must be those hdb aunties. They who can faithfully follow like some 300 episodes of the taiwan mega overdrama 'Taiwan Long Juen Fong' and recite each script and character truly deserves an award for Most Rabid Drama Fan. Me, i'm just like a small time cale-fare compared to them. Power to hdb aunties.

If Holly was human...

My colleague exclaimed, the bimbo psychologist who tried to "counsel" me recently would be exactly what Holly would be if she was human. Hmm, true. Bimbo body - check. Lights in brain not sparking - check. Limited vocabulary - check. Vacant stare in the eyes - check. I'd reckon if the bimbo psychologist met Holly, the $170 session would probably go like this:

Bimbo: So how can we help you today?
Holly: I don't know. I'm confused....
Bimbo: I see. Can you explain your confusion?
Holly: I'm really confused on how to explain it....
Bimbo: O..k...What are you confused about?
Holly: I'm not sure, that's why I'm confused....

Guess there are jobs for bimbos out there after all.

Modern workplace dictionary

Came across a copy of the mag Idle Banter. Pretty interesting mag with a twist, with a couple of very educating finds.

Stress puppy - a person who thrives on stress and yet despite constant fulfillment of this fundamental need, still whinges all the time about how stressed they are.

yup yup I definitely know people like that. In fact, isn't that characteristic of most singaporeans?

Assmosis - A process by which a dumb inept individual attains high status and success by kissing up to superiors and stepping on co workers to attain empty undeserved success in a corporate environment.

Whoooooyeah. Definitely know of people like that in the office.

Salmon day - The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

Happens to me all the time.

I think it's just better off to be the evil character rather than the good guy. Good guys always get screwed. Ok no wait, next time I want to be some rich family's pampered pooch. I get to crap on everyone and my shit gets cleaned up everytime.

Rent a Baby, and Others..

C suggests its a good idea to start a Rent-A-Baby scheme. Govt's way to incentivise and promote population growth via more baby bonus cash and maternity leave, not quite convincing. With rent-a-baby, people rent, swap the babies they want for periods of time. If you like the baby and wish to adopt it, a contract is signed with the parents with a small fee paid to us the middleman. Hmm, ok, totally illegal enterprise of course, but points for creative thinking. Now, if we do have rent-a-baby, I suggested to C that we could expand and branch out to:

Rent-a-Bf. Very useful for rainy days umbrella carrying services.
Rent-a-mistress. Stating the obvious here.
Rent-a-wife. C disagrees, he said no one in their right minds would rent a wife. Why rent a wife when you can get a mistress?
Rent-a-bitch-gf. To get rid of clingy mistress.
Rent-a-Granny. Err, not sure what this one is for....
Rent-a-Cow. Now, this one is certainly useful. In economic downturns like this, rent a cow, milk your own milk. Half to the landlord and half to you. But then, depends on what sort of economy it is after all. There's a famous economics 2-cows joke on this.

Simple Guy and a Simple Girl

I remarked to C that his car is to feed his ego.

C: Ego? I got no ego. I'm a simple kinda guy.
Me: Then why didn't u get a Honda Civic
C: cuz the last car was an Integra. Cannot downgrade from there.
Me: I dont' mind. I'm a simple girl.
C: then why do you only buy Tod's? Why don't you buy Charles & Keith?
Me: I would buy C&K if they fit me!
C: ok...then why don't u buy Bata shoes??

[LONG PAUSE]

Ok. Speechless. He got me there. There are just some things money will not buy, and that's Bata shoes (for me) and a Nissan March (for him). For all other things, there's always Mastercard.

Topless

I love macho men. In fact, much better if them macho men are topless as well. My favourite scene is always to peer at the Safra club as C drives me home, on good days I get glimpses of some rather nice (and not so nice) working out in the open field. Better yet if they are topless, there's something about sweaty muscular pecs that get my blood up. Yesterday night there was a whole lotta them out there. Yum. Slurp. Drool. As I ga-ga'd over them as C was cruising along, he smartly remarked, "I don't need to be topless for pple to notice me, all I do is just drive a Volvo convertible".

ahh. good point. Topless macho men and topless convertible. I want them both. Slurp.

Wackos united

Recently having discovered my co. actually sponsors each employee 5 free consultations with psychologists on stress management, being the typical singaporen, don't use, loogi right? So, must not loogi, must use. Even if no problem, also go and kaypoh, after all, how many pple have you heard tell you they've seen a psychologist? Maybe they'll certify I am wacko, woohoo. Called for appointment, the receptionist sounded truly inept, like a young fresh grad not sure how to handle wacko callers (or, each caller must be wacko else why would they be calling?). Nevermind. Went for appointment, another inept receptionist made me wait 20 mins while she tried to type out my particulars. I tap my toes. Hmmm. Met the psychologist, who look like another young fresh grad, who was wearing a blouse with a HUGE purple bow on the side, short flouncy skirt and black stockings. Uh huh. Bad vibes. Bad vibes. First conversation went like this:

Her: (Patronizingly. As if I am wacko) So...how can we help you?
Me: (DUH. Bimbo lights flashing on top of her head). I dunno. Aren't you supposed to tell me how you can help me? If I knew, then I wouldn't be here right?

Conversation largely went downhill from there. Her lights are clearly not very bright, especially when all she does is to ho, hum, nod her head and occasionally, "i see". Now and then, there's a "I'm confused". Huh? she's confused? Hey, I thought I'm the confused one here.

Charges on the counter indicate $170 per hour. Man, if this is the kind of work that does so little and earn so much, I'm clearly in the wrong profession. Note to all who are reading this blog --> please make sure your kids are either in banking, or psychology.

Macho macho man....

The way I see it, the role of a bf is to (1) carry shopping bags, (2) chauffeur gf around, (3) shelter gf from rain. Not necessarily in that order of course. To be fair, C does #2 very well, and can occasionally be relied on for #1 support. As we stopped by for coffee today,:

Me: (waves umbrella at C). Take the umbrella
C: I don't need it..
Me: Not for you, but to shelter me
C: ok then you take it and shelter yourself
Me: (half in jest) But you're the bf...you're supposed to do the bf-ly thing and come over and shelter me
C: (sigh) ok ok..

then after coffee:

C: ....it's not macho for guys to use umbrellas..
Me: but macho men need to take care of their cute, helpless gfs
C: (snorts). ya, only if their gfs are dressed in bikinis when hanging out with us...
Me: ok, until you find one girl willing to do that, you're stuck with me. So shelter me ....

Admittedly, I'm perfectly capable of carrying my own umbrella and often do. Sometimes I just throw a princessy-tantrum to annoy C. Dunno why. Umm, can I blame the over indulgence in K-drama??

Soju extreme

Currently watching K-drama Cruel Love (aka Bad love) now. Korean drama can really be the epitome of creativeness. The plot is so dramatic, so incredible, it can only be K-drama. The suay is damn suay, the jialat is so damn jialat, and of course all the love and relationships are so intense and dramatic one would think this culture is so extreme in expressing their affections (other than the Italians and Frenchies). Actually taiwan dramatic drama is even more drama and draggy, but at least the soju versions can keep the plot concise within 20 episodes or less. But honestly, the best bits of K-drama is often times the very good looking male leads and prettily surgically enhanced female co-stars. No one has better looking taut skin than Korean women in these soju dramas. Move over SKII, Korean cosmetics here I come.

Devil shopper

A female shopaholic is like a demon possessed. Or is it obsessed? How many pairs of shoes does a woman need? Apparently, shoes always not enough. There are never enough pairs of shoes (or enough clothes no matter how frequently I buy these days). Just couple of days back I spent 1.5 hrs dressing myself because "there's nothing to wear", I bemoaned. I have a thomas sabo charm hanging off my handphone which screams SHOPPING VICTIM. Actually they might as well make it SHOPPING DEMON. Today, oh today, I am the very proud (and very broke) owner of one Shanghai Tang bangle, another pair of (Marc Jacobs) shoes, and ....how many trench dresses does a girl need? Dunno, but at least 3 I guess. And a few more new articles of clothing. The $$$ damage? Don't even want to count. It's more fingers and toes than I (and my dogs) have.

And the most ironic thing - I STILL prefer to hang out on weekends, and often do, in my yoga attire, or shorts and t-shirt. Very unglam, very auntie, very singaporean with no style.

In Lust and Wax

Distributing flyers on Orchard road to promote and advertise business is really an ineffective way of advertising. I mean, how many of us actually read those flyers? More of us just crunch it into a ball and throw it into the next dustbin (guess people rather throw it on the floor if not for a public fine imposed on littering. FINE society that we are). But helloooooooooo.........when there is a couple of very very cute guys in sexy white singlets and jeans, showing off what is a very very fine body (oh so tapered waist and nicely toned biceps) like those you often see in swimmers, any female worth her boobs (or guys who walk on 'the other side') will sit up, stop and look twice. No, not only twice. Three times. Maybe four or five. Hello boys. You want to give me a flyer? Sure. Why not scribble your phone numbers on it too huh? Drool. Especially cute when these young men look so embarressed distributing flyers that one of them keep semi bowing in gratefulness to every female who took one from him. Unfortunately there was a sea of women between me and the first couple of boys I didn't get a chance to collect a flyer. Oh but nevermind, another pair spotted outside Takashimaya. No luck with those 2 either, and finally, finally outside of Paragon, one very sexy singlet-body presented me with one. And all this excitement to promote........... a BRAZILIAN WAX salon. I was all of stunned for 1 second, maybe a little affronted. Huh. I mean, not quite sure if its brilliant idea to use sexy guys to promote a waxing salon, but it sure as hell is wierd having a sexy male suggesting to a female that you need a wax in areas where the sun don't shine...much.

Aww heck, the guys are so cute, I don't think I mind them giving me sexy suggestions anytime. Just as I was gushing to C in enthusiasm about my latest 'cute' find and waving the wax flyer madly at him. Brilliant C that he is, aptly pointed out the little print on the flyer that says, "Voted best brazilian Wax salon...". Eh, how did the judges make this decision? Do they need more people on the judging panel?, C raised his hand to volunteer, with a twinkle in his eye and a lusty smile that would rival any old man about to get his young bimbo candy. Oh ho ho, what a fine pair we make.

Passport Surprise

I found someone's passport recently, and good citizen that I am, I promptly made my way to the police station the next morning to make a report, thinking some poor chap must be stranded in Singapore without it. Mind you, I had to detour to the police station en route to work, but as a fine upstanding citizen, hey, nevermind, I'll do it. Recently our Home Team has had some bad press, what with the Mas Selamat escape and the boo-boo of lax passport controls at changi airport and etc. Apparently there is a high turnover of the home team boys due to high stress and fatigue. Well, what greeted me at the police station is testament to the fact - I've never been to a station except one other time, and frankly, the place look tired, worn out and in desperate need of some renovation or interior design. The officers looked exhausted as well, and I really have my doubts if they could run over 400m to catch thieves without being winded. The work of an officer must not be too exciting, 2 other ordinary folks behind me came in to report a lost handphone and a change of address. For all the hoo-ha I thought was about a lost passport, I was sadly mistaken. My police station encounter was all of 5 mins of the following:

Me: I found a passport.
Officer: ok. So you want to make a report?
Me: Huh?
Officer: well, you want to report a found passport or not?
Me: Well, I'm just brining it in as the owner may be looking for it.
Officer: ok then. We'll just try to trace the owner. When and where you found it?....

And there it was. Officer scribbled location and time on a piece of scrap paper, didn't even ask for my name or contact details and promptly waved me on my way. Okay....so much for being a fine upright citizen. Ah well, I hope the poor chap is reunited with his passport by now, at least that would make my effort more worthwhile.

Motherhood?

To simulate expectant mothers, we had heavy thick blankets strapped to our waists as we went through an hour of pre-natal yoga class. Ok first thing is, this whole "swollen belly" thing really throws the body out of alignment. Bend forward? Uh, can't touch my toes, belly in the way. Bend sideways? Uh, got obstruction. Stand with feet together? Fergitaboutit. I think God is quite unfair, men should have a go at pregnancy too, how come they get to enjoy themselves during the act, contribute sperm and then live happily ever after? If I were God, everytime man made woman pregnant, the size of their testicles should shrink by half. Let's see who has the last laugh. Humph. Just the other day I was a Mac's getting a quick hash brown fix, when I spied a boy about age 7 hassling his poor parents and demanding in a tantrum and yelling at his parents, "where is my happy meal???!!!!!!", then stomps foot, yells "where is my Happy meal???!!!!!" whilst the counter staff hurried about to fill their orders. Dad was trying to appease the boy. Me, I just think this kid ought to be shot. No kid should be allowed to talk to his parents in this tone. Or, it simply means, parents these days don't know how to discipline their kids. Govt trying to encourage more kids? Better educate adults on proper parenthood first.

Things we do for $14

Biscuit's license renewal letter had come earlier in Jan, but somehow walked away before I found time to pay the bill. Nevermind, I'll be a little less anal and more cool I thought, a reminder letter will come. well it never did, but a $100 fine from the AVA did find its way to my door. Nevermind, I'll be cool and just write a letter of appeal, feign ignorance and send a cheque for $14. Another AVA letter came - prove to us that he is neutered it says. Umm, duh. Dear AVA, do you even check your database, i did send you the original sterilization cert you know? nevermind, I'll be cool, I'll just call the vet and have them send over another copy. All hassle came and went, and Bis is finally 'legalized' for another year. In retrospect, I should have just gone to AVA when the renewal was due to pay the $14, it would have been so much simpler. But I thought being a little less anal and just chill, as C would have done, would be a nice change. But frankly, the total exchange of 4 letters between AVA and myself, and the vet, just to prove Bis' eunuch status and get him legalized, is too much effort. Next year, I'll be sure to pay the $14 on time. Been there, done that, not worth the hassle.

Motherhood yoga 101

We had a lesson in pre-natal yoga today as part of the teaching module. And *gasp* while I'm accustomed through the years hearing about colleagues talk through their pregnancy, to labour, to maternity, it's quite another (shocking) thing to have to go through a lesson of physical pregnant anatomy. My mental state seemed to have entered permanent retard shock during those 3 hours, hearing how women in class and the teacher describe groin pain, pelvic splits, back pains, tissue tears and other stuff rather as a matter of factly. We even had the privilege of watching a live birth video - no holds barred, full pregnancy from stage 1 of labour till delivery. I mean, if my shocked retard state wasn't enough , I think I was fully distressed and traumatised when watching how the vagina just moved open and the baby's crown slowly birthed through. If that wasn't bad enough, there was the cutting of the umbilical cord to the delivery of the placenta and all the blood gush. Gawd. Even some of the moms in the class were aghast, I guess it's a different view of themselves during delivery...I doubt many have the chance of looking between their legs and watching their babies slowly emerge from the what formerly was a very small space between the legs.

All this talk about hips permanently widening, loose saggy pouchy skin, pigmentation and emotional trauma etc etc...while I'm not a ra-ra motherhood type of person to begin with, think I'm now permanently traumatised by the whole childbearing idea. YP used to complain that pre natal yoga class is boring and doesn't do much, but I think she didn't realise how many of the poses are can complicate birthing and poses are subjected to a mother's stage of pregnancy, position of baby in the tummy etc. At first I thought pre natal yoga must be a walk in the park, now I'm thinking it's the most difficult form of yoga to teach. I'm not letting any pregnant mothers in my yoga class if I have to teach. Gosh I just don't think I can handle it. Gimme monkeys anytime.

'O silly snippets

Very intense heavy rain today. And so I remarked to C.

Me: it's raining like crap. Wouldn't it be really bad if we're animals at the zoo?
C: ?
Me: I mean, with rain so intense, they would have nowhere to go...
C: that's why they have dens...and in every den at the zoo, they have their own private dvd players, plasma tv....
Me: .....
Me: what about the bird park, if we're birds at the bird park, there's surely no dens for us to hide...
C: I'll just take out an umbrella
Me: Umbrella?! People pay good money for a ticket to the birdpark, and you (bird) take out an umbrella?!
C: well it doesn't make sense for us (birds) to get wet right, when people come to see us. So we'll just pose for them with our umbrellas...

Then later....(still raining intensely but braving the rain to buy dinner).

Me: ...if you only had 1 more day to live and had to choose between either a last meal - for which will enable you to live yet another day, or a..
C (interrupting): the BJ of course!
Me: (rolls eyes)
C: I rather die happy.
Me: but if you had the last meal you could live another day..
C: but will still die tomorrow, so I rather die happy with a smile on my face. No point in having the last meal when I'll still die after another day...

well,, gotta give this guy points for creative imagination.

Twas Too Good to be True

There I was ecstatically celebrating my first successful foray into downloading a full episode of K-drama, and successfully installing a video player. Noodle, my mac, was powered up for nearly 48 hrs in my excitement and enthusiasm to download some 10 episodes. Too good to be true? Indeed. I thought my bad techno-karma luck cut me a break, but alas it's too good to be true. After some 48 hrs of downloading, none of what I had could be viewed or played........ nothing wrong with the vids, or player or my mac. Just that several mac users have had similar problems and had to give up in sheer frustration because some of us has the bad luck of the player just not being quite compatible on our macs.

Sob. Bwahhh. (Huge sigh of resigned fate).

Back to the rental store I guess.

K-Drama Re-obsession

Now that the MBA is over and done with, I'm back with my darling love K-drama. Having just finished Hong Gil Dong and a resulting entire week of sleep deprivation, panda eyebags, swollen eyes, and intense lack of focus at work, I'm moving on to Chilwu the Mighty, and Daring Sisters at the same time. Yah, quite intense. The beauty of modern technology is I can get access to these online at crunchyroll, or mysoju or veoh. Sad part is sometimes my anti-techno karma comes into play. Biggest headache - no subtitles. Aww man.... back to the rental store.

Makan sutra

The journey to vegetarian-ism is strange, at least for me. In modern context I'm what you would call a pesco-vegetarian (after reading Sunday times couple of weeks back). I've been off meat for a record of nearly 12 weeks. Not bad. Except these past days I get strange sudden fixations and desires for strange foods. Like Hokkien Mee. Then yesterday the image of McD's Fish Filet would not leave my mind during yoga. And today, i have a sudden craving for french fries, not just any french fries but big fat solid ones like those you get at a cafe or american restaurant like hard rock's. I've also increased my potato chips intake recently, from maybe 3 or 4 large bags per year, to 1 bag a month. Umm...it just struck me that they are all carbs and unhealthy food.

Zen my big butt?

A massive attack of hokkien prawn mee seized me recently - or rather, the catalyst was watching tables of people at toa payoh lor 5 hawker center devouring plate after plate of cholestrol-rich noodles. C of course kindly provided chaueffer service after yoga class one night at 9.30pm. The thing is, I haven't had hokkien mee in over 4 or 5 years, and the day I deigned to desire it, is the day the stall is closed. C said nary a word, so I squeaked, how about lor 8? No sign of the elusive HM at lor 8, it's not meant to be I thought. C insisted we be sure, and lol and behold, one lone ranger in the corner. Evil eyes bore on me and cheerily clapped, "Aha! Thanks to me we found it! you gave up too easily".

The $8 plate of HM came and went, alongside with some (looks like $5 worth of) *gasp* PORK LARD. When I pointed to the plate and asked HM uncle "uncle, what's that?". Uncle act innocent, pointed to C and said, "Dont know. He asked one". So the fate of the pork lard went something like this:

Me (looking at plate with 1/2 pork lard left, looks at C): You shouldn't be eating this anymore. You look too full.
C: Uh huh. (Continues to shove 4 more spoonfuls of HM AND PORK LARD into his already full mouth).
then later...
C: (groaning & looking very green). oh my gawd....the pork lard has expanded in my tummy. Oh gawd (groan groan groan). I'm never gonna eat pork lard for another 5 yrs.

Point of this story? Men don't listen, and women can't find directions (at least where hokkien mee is concerned).

A Horsey tale

Today is a great day of great service (except for rather crabby taxi drivers). Firstly, shop lady at the Kodak store at Forum cheerfully volunteered to help me carry 12 rather heavy photo frames to the taxi stand, and even chose to accompany me while I waited for a cab. Wow, this is service with an extra smile and mile. Then, service during dinner at Rider's Cafe is nothing short of fantastic, and good enough to rival those at 5-star hotels coupled with loads of enthusiasm. The food is pretty darn good despite the basic menu, and it's in.the.middle.of.nowhere location at Fairways Drive is the real sweetie (in Singapore speak: si-beh macham ulu). For some reason, the service staff must really enjoy their jobs as service staff - no qualms for complaints even for my picky self. If you fancy your meal accompanied by rather unique whiffs of eau de horsey fragrance, it's a pretty interesting experience altogether. Save for the cafe, everything outside is pitch black, except maybe for the headlamps of a car or two driving by. That leaves me to suggest to C, that maybe horses can be made to wear "headlamps" (just like miner's hats) - and wouldn't it be interesting if we have night racing horses? Just like F1 has its first ever night race, Horse racing can do the same...all you would hear is the thundering of hooves and the bobbing of "headlamps" whilst everything else is in pitch black darkness? Better still, the horse number should be illuminated (just like xmas tree lights) on the hats that horses would wear, so we know which horse is in the lead. And given the push towards public transport, who knows someday we may revert back to horse-carts as a form of transportation. Horse hats would be illuminated in red (for Hired) and green (for Available). Ahhh...such is my brilliance and out of the box creativity. I amaze myself sometimes.

How to Fish

On our way back from Amirah's Grill (which by the way, serves really decent middle eastern cuisine in an intimately cozy space with very hip-swaying music) where C got his kebab craving fixed, there was a healthy brainstorm in the car on methods to catch the 2 elusive arowanas that his client was going to give him. C's original plan was to buy a big fishing net, jump into the pond and net the fish - because apparently, "arowanas swim damn fast". O...k....but how about these suggestions:

- freeze the pond and carve out the cubed fish. Defrost soon after.
- drain half the pond so fish have limited space to swim. Easy to grab.
- heat up the pond it's so hot, fish would jump out. Then grab them.
- dissolve 100 paracetemol tablets into the pond, tranq the fish and nab them.
- partition the pond, herd them to one small space and jump in!

Now, once the fish is caught, my question to C was, how is he planning to transport the fish to his place. The look on his face says, I.havent.thought.that.far.ahead.yet.

Will the bank still accept payment in lieu if fish are dead? hmm.

Fish & (e)Con(omy)

It's quite possible the world is moving back to the barter trade economy, what with inflation and prices of commodities and essentials escalating at an alarming rate. C had just gone to meet a client, and as all clients always do - tell their architects they love the concept, but will have to think about it, money being one of the major concerns. There's no such thing as a free blade of grass, really. So this one particular client implied pretty much the same thing, but oh by the way, "you like my (rare) arowana (fish)? Why don't you take one". And then promptly went on to offer 2 arowanas to C. Umm, so these days architects get paid in fish do they? In turn I wonder how he is going to divvy up the 'fish' parts to his contractors, suppliers, and....convince the bank to accept payment of fish in lieu of cash for the monthly mortgage. Hmm. Going by market rates, 1 arowana = few hundred to thousand dollars. So basically, pay the bank 1 fish, it's sufficient to cover the monthly housing loan. Umm, so how many ikan bilis needs to be traded at tekka market for 1kg of beef trimmings?? No ikan bilis? Will dried shrimp do? As with all economics, it's about demand and supply right? So moving back to an economy trading on fish, would generate a high demand of refrigerators to store fish, or for dehydrating equipment to preserve fish. How will productivity of a country be measured, in GFF (Gross Fishy Factor)? Will Starbucks start serving Nemo lattes???!

And as with all things, this also highlights the difference between C and myself. I'd research to the death and prepare data and facts, arming myself with concrete knowledge and making a grand presentation to my clients on "WHY YOU NEED TO GIVE ME 2 FISH". C, on the other hand, will talk about something else totally unrelated to the work or project and make fun out of everything, and the clients will just simply jump up and say, "HEY, WHY DON'T YOU TAKE 2 FISH?".

Books R' Us

These 30% coupons that Borders sends out from time to time are sure to incite a mass descent of eager beavers ready for massive book bargains to the store. You think baskets are only used at supermarkets for carrying groceries? Some of us bargain hunters pile up books in baskets like cheap groceries. Of course, i don't really actually NEED any of these books, but I can't help being drawn to the beauty of them like a moth to flame. My latest succumb to temptation - 3 new cookbooks and 4 novels. Am I going to read the novels - most probably yeah, am I going to use the cookbooks? Probably not since I've gone pesco vegetarian. But being a veggie-ian doesn't stop me from loving food, and admiring pictures and dreaming of whipping up a storm in my future dream kitchen. My most prized acquisition today: Piri Piri Starfish by Tessa Kiros. Being the proud own 3 other of Kiros' cookbooks, her recipes and stories are a beautiful journey of her life's work in the joy of cooking. The recipes are true to form, I was never let down for each of those that I've tried out. Yum. Can a cookbook lover get any more deliriously happier than that?The other 2 that joined my cookbook collection today: Padma Laksmi's Tangy Tart Hot & Sweet, and Nguyen's stunningly beautiful Secrets of the Red Lantern, a very seductive exploration of the recipes of Vietnam.

Quiver on O' Jelly

There's no doubt in my mind that not having practised yoga in 4 weeks my muscle tone and stamina would have seriously deteriorated, but its amazing when reality hits - my fingers were trembling (and not even from exertion) just by stretching my arms overhead, and the hammies feel so tightly knotted as if I've been wearing 4 inch high heels for weeks, and (heaven forbid) the quivering of jello thighs as work on the squats. Muscles tremble when we are starting to get exhausted holding a position we are unaccustomed to holding, yes its normal, but when the jello thighs start trembling as soon as squats begin, now that's a serious sign of Hello, Get your arse back into the motion of regular exercise. No excuses, cough and cold is over, MBA is over. My physical self (and appetite) is back with a vengeance. Have begun to hallucinate about loads of pasta, and even crave sugar rather intensely. I'm going to bring my yoga practice back to where it should be.

on a more sober note, I'm really lucky. All these are just superficial stuff, not a big disaster to lament over. Had chanced upon a blog about another girl called Wennie - whose last name is also nearly same as mine (!), and yes, I'm the luckier of the two of us. I wish her the best.

The Price of Freedom: $150. The Journey: Priceless

Corrupted files, crashing software, missing data, disappearing acts, pain in the arse formatting, bad printing - all in a day's (actually several full days and nights) work to write up an MBA dissertation. Everything I knew would go wrong did. No surprise, my techno(less) karma is here in full force.

1. thinking I could get away from software errors and the dreaded "Word is unable to save due to insufficient memory" with a powerful macbook - Wrong.

2. thinking that MS Word will not crash in a mac - even more Wrong.

3. knowing that formatting the entire document is going to be a real pain (especially with bad page break and font controls) - Ouch ouch and triple ouch.

4. suspecting the table of contents is going to be more trouble than its worth - can microsoft make our lives any harder?

5. suspecting files will go missing or data lost - Without a doubt.

6. suspecting something will go wrong in printing - do I need to say more?

7. suspecting I will end up paying more than I needed to - Desperate times need desperate measures.

8. suspecting I will have problems uploading the file to the University - 'enuff said.

9. suspecting I will end up submitting the wrong file for printing and uploading - Damn friggin' right.

So there it is. My not.without.pain journey of the last 5 days and 5 nights (and wee hours of morning). The most amazing and I still cannot believe it happened part is how at 1am in the morning, when I am still revved up and alert with the adrenalin rush, I make final modifications to my document, save save and double save in both mac and thumb just to be super anal and sure, the document I finally print out and upload is still the "previous version". I mean like HUH?? how is this even possible when saving and replacing (overwriting) the previous version should be a fail-safe way to g'tee previous versions are totally wiped out? Apparently not when techno(less) bad karma me is the one writing the document. Too late now since the dissertation has already been bound.

Nonetheless, at least it's over now. I've regained my freedom, am $150 poorer (and a lot of time invested). And know what, it could have cost me only $40 if I submitted the journal 2 days ahead for binding and had it printed it at my office for free - yes, typical Singapore exploiting office assets. But procrastination always wins. At least Ultrasupplies saved the day. These printers are real pros. Really. (psst, for 60 cents per coloured page these printers are really turning in the profits).

And you think I was bad....

Sunday lunches with C is often enjoyable, we'd find ourselves at some nice, idyllic cafe eating what we like best and just chilling back. I would smile pleasantly at the service staff, pay them compliments for good service and act as if I'm the most pleasantly happy customer in the whole world - quite a departure from my usual very brusque, snappish and demanding self. Yes indeed, I can be an excellent customer if I want to, my very sweet voice in all ernestness and big big sparkly eyes just making them want to go the extra mile for me. (message to C - you think I can't do it? Of course I can. Oh yeah).

'K, 'nuff with the self compliments (myself, I'm choking on it). We've always liked Choupinette, but the female at the neighbouring table obviously has a bone to pick with the whole world. Imagine yourself being an unwilling audience to a loud (mostly one-sided) conversation whose owner's nearly screeching pitch of a voice was just going on and on like a high speed locomotive. If we were on a race track, she'll be one crazy driver in a ferrari, and C would have no qualms about running her over even in his volvo - 100 times. Just to be sure she's good and truly really dead with no chance of resurrection. Her guy companion (certified FRIEND at this point) is of course trying to keep up with her, he wants more than just friendship, no doubt, but hey dude, what looks like a strong independant, intelligent spirit now, is just going to be a real pain in the padded backside later. Take for example how she was describing an incident at a restaurant...blah blah blah..bad service..blah blah...at the end of which, she eyeballed the dude and asked him, "so, am I a bitch?".
HELL YEAH, I'm thinking. Poor dude could only stammer a, "well I think you should stand up for yourself". I roll my eyes. C, who typically has the patience of a saint, was so annoyed at the entire experience he actually had to go squat in the cafe toilet so he could read his magazine in peace.

On a positive note, C always thought I had a lot of 'bitch' in me. Think today, he's just met the #1 all time champion and uncontested winner of the Ms. Bitch is Me contest. Me, I'm only the squawking chihuahua in comparison.

Economics of cow

Again, newspaper headlines today are on 1) extension of full day bus lanes, and 2) all time high inflation of 7.5% in June. This business of inflation and rising costs is as sensational as the Anwar trial (now that one, is fact or fiction?). As C so puts it in his cow-like perspective,
"so with full day bus lanes, we are getting fined for having less road to drive".
Well yeah, if you put it that way. And then,
"so we get fined if we drive in bus lanes, so what happens when the buses cross into our normal lanes. Do we fine them? Do we take pictures of them and demand they be fined?"
Good point. Now gah-men of course will say this is not a fair comparison. Nyah nyah nyah. So demand and supply. Gahmen demands that we pay more for transportation, and supply us less road. Where's the free market?

As for inflation, 7.5%, if everything costs more, who's actually making money out of this? Surely there must be some rich geezer out there who's benefiting from the cycle of rising costs.

C says my blog complains too much. But yah, gotta agree with YP, blogs are for whining.

Whine Whine cow.

Poop on Demand

Not my dogs, but really about my adventures at the annual medical health check today. Executive health screening must be really big business, because a whole clinic of it is devoted to purely that. The clinic was even nicely done up, very posh-like, really suited for the office class. However the whole business of it is very...mechanical. One gets shoved 2 plastic bottles and was informed rather unfeelingly to provide samples of business #1 and #2 into there. Ok so pee on demand is not too difficult as long as there's plenty water on hand, but err, poop on demand? I dunno, but it's damn stressful to be sitting there in the very nice and spacious loo (of which there is only ONE) and a bunch of women queuing outside waiting for their turn on the toilet seat. If it's any consolation the same problem seems to be apparent at the gents cubicle too. Judging by the basket in the loo which has a decent count of number #2-filled containers and sadly bereft of #1 populated containers......everyone seems to be suffering the same fate.

That aside, I've a number of other observations:
1. Doctor is crappy. Old geezer who really looks like he should be the janitor, and I wondered how he passed med school.
Doc: ..[eager to tick medical form] You got any health problem?
Me: ...cough for 3 weeks, haven't gone away.
Doc: you should see your own doctor [carries on ticking the medical form]
HUH!! crap, all this guy wants is to make everything on the form joyful and happy. I've never seen anyone in such a hurry to complete a form without even asking the right questions. As for the physical exam, for goodness sakes if I want someone to be pressing at my boobs, I much rather a young good looking (or a more professional) doctor. Old geezer does it like he's wiping tables. Double crap.

2. Blood pressure is taken by an automated machine. Just insert arm, nurse press button and voila. Same for weight and height machines. Ok so medical devices are big business, companies are just making expensive machines to do the simplest jobs. All we will be come is just a button-pressing workforce in future. (That said, is there a Poop on Demand button???).

Health checks have always been a strange experience for me. I guess no one finds it pleasant, but at least crappy doctor aside, they do have a very nice beverage bar (with espresso machine and pellets) and personally serve each 'patient' with danish, sandwiches and fruit.

Just get rid of crappy doctor please.

CelebriTea Break

This is a chinese variety show hosted by Guo Liang and Quan Yifeng which I came across while channel surfing. The interviewee was actor Tay Ping Hui. While generally I do not have any opinion of local media artistes since I stopped watching local shows eons ago, the interview with Tay left me with the conclusion that he's quite an arrogant character and comes across as a real jerk in some parts especially with the over the top machoism. Though I must say, the show is pretty good and excellent choice of hosts as both GL and QYF are straight talking, candid people who are able to guide the conversations quite deftly yet no afraid to dig under the skin. Something like Oprah singapore style. One thing did strike me was when they discussed the topic of love. GL and QYF both made the point that they are people who believe in loving passionately, crazily and total immersion of oneself into the relationship and feeling. Very gutsy people, and very admirable. Very like their straightforward characters. No beating about the bush type. If I could turn back time, I would like to be like them too.

The TPH interview episode can be found here thanks to a great link at tudou.com.

A Picture worth at Thousand Words

My MBA thesis is due in less than 2 weeks. I only have about 7,000 words out of the required 15,000 down. 50% more to go. Well yes I'm guilty of succumbing to intense periods of K-drama obsession and procrastinating to the nth degree on writing this paper. And in conversation with C today:

C: How's your assignment?
Me: It's coming along.
C: How much?
Me: 7,000 words to go in less than 2 weeks.
C: You're not going to make it.
Me: But I got a lot of graphics...
C: they don't count as words duh...
Me: There's a saying, "a picture is worth a thousand words"...
[pregnant pause]
C: then all you need is 15 pictures of Biz and Holly to finish your assignment!

Wow. If only. If only I knew this to be true from the start. I could have saved myself a lot of effort. But has anyone out there submitted an MBA thesis with only pictures and passed? Will this brave soul please stand up?

Whingy whiners

For many of us out there, the workplace is certainly a very complex environment. When I was a kid growing up, I'd look forward to becoming finally an adult and joining the corporate world and have financial freedom. Now as an adult, in retrospect it's much better to be student. The world has evolved, cultures become more integrated and hierachical structures are much more flatter. It's no longer "do it because the boss said so and the business expects it", but now apparently employees expect more "let me explain why we have to do this". HUH?? Ok so people want to feel involved, feel connected (and all other feel good emotional crap) but a line really needs to be drawn between genuine and reasonable feedback, vs whining. Do teachers have to explain and justify to students why homework is necessary? Do parents have to justify to children why they need to be back by curfew? If the company pays you a salary to do a job, then do the job. Whinging on how "I don't like to do this" is clearly immature. So is demanding an explanation for every task. Dude, did you all not read the job description? In an article I read, apparently it's called "entitlement mentality"In economics, there's no such thing as a free lunch, but in singaporean speak, apparently people will even complain and whine about the quality of their free lunch.

On the other hand, getting reasonable and genuine feedback and doing nothing about improving the situation is clearly a no-no either. People do get frustrated. Look at how our government deals with the issue of traffic woes. Increase ERP? Increase surcharges? With inflation getting out of hand, how is increase in cost of living justified? The standard response is, Don't whine, just do it because we have a pool of brilliant scholars who did a comprehensive study and we're convinced its' in the best interest of the people. OK, so when did these brilliant scholars last stepped into an overcrowded MRT or bus during peak hours hmm? If govt paid us a salary then I'd say ok maybe we're obliged not to whine, but as tax payers, where's our right to voice and be heard?

Chubby Hubby

He's like the Nigella of Singapore with a damn good camera. The blog is incredible. It's so sexy to read, and nearly orgasmic. It's enough to make vegetarians weep. Ooh la la.

Fish Tales

C went fishing and brought me 2 very beautifully fresh fish. One small and one really big, he jokingly named them Wen and Con. Well, "wen" fish became my lunch today, teochew-style. It's been awhile since I've been really in the kitchen cooking (though most recently the lemon roast chicken and german hot potato for gatherings), I do miss the kitchen. The joy of cooking is truly food for the soul. Now I must pat myself on the back for my brilliance, teochew style is only something I've eaten outside, not made at home (usually we do the hk or canto-style), but I was able to replicate it very nicely sans salted veg. But damn it's good.

On a separate topic, now that I have a cure for coughs at night, I'm looking for a home remedy for pretty nasty phlegm. I found a pretty interesting phlegm remedy at a blog called Audrey Cooks, and my my, she's also an avid cook and foodie. What joy for me, especiallly when I notice Nigella and Jamie Oliver is on her fav list.

Depression remedy

Holly got punished today for doing something she really shouldn't have done. She also got banned to her crate. Strangely enough, Biscuit suddenly acted more lively, even jumping to get his toy to lure me to play. I swear his eyes look brighter and he was actually smiling and even prancing around. It's as if he knows, "she's been put away! she wouldn't bother me anymore! I am Free! FREEDOM!!!". Where usually he'd settle to a depressing oh-woe-is-me type of lethargy around the house, he was suddenly following me around with zeal and vigour. Umm, I think it's a hint that if I want Bis to be happy again, I do have to remove Holly from his presence. Just minutes before I left the house I let Holly out. And yes, Bis just laid down at the corner, chin between paws with a very depressed, forlorn look. He didn't even bother to see me to the door as I waved goodbye, as if he couldn't be bothered. Guess it's a really strong hint. No dog psychologists needed. Life is miserable with Holly.

Buddha's Fruit and Painful Silliness

For a person my (small) size, I can sure produce some pretty big chesty coughs. Sad how the word chesty is used to describe my coughs instead of my less than ample bosom. Anyway, my hacking coughs were enough to raise the dead, even my boss had to jokingly shout from inside his room down the coridoor, "Shut up!!!". My colleague suggested if I have tried LuoHanGuo (Buddha's Fruit) remedy. And suddenly the lightbulb flashed - how could I have forgotten??! So silly of me, I know that LHG is an excellent TCM cure for coughs and I often buy this as a beverage. Shouldn't have wasted my time on silly modern cough mixtures.

My feet are pained today. The very beautiful, very expensive and now turned out to be very uncomfortable brand new pair of Marc Jacobs shoes for which I was drooling, nosebleeding, lingering over for weeks; for which I swopped down like a starved begger when I spotted it on sale at a steep discount (even though price after sale is still exhorbitantly high) turns out to be a beautifully expensive and painful mistake which gave me the most number of blisters I've ever had on 2 feet. Ankle, sides, and every single toe. The price of vanity is expensive. It's the most expensive pair of shoe I possess. Now looking back I don't know what made me pay so much for a pair that is not good ol' faithful Tod's. It's just another testament of women and their incredibly silly foot fetishes. And sheer stupidity.

Aww my poor feet. Aww my poor (chesty) lungs.