Saturday, December 30, 2006

Curse of the golden boobs

The latest Zhang Yimou film is a nice visual feast, yes. Just look at the amount of jiggling, heaving bosoms. Yep, sure distracts one from the paper thin plot. All these wonderbras and cups runneth over, no wonder the men in the film are all a little crazy. Can't blame them.

Here's a thought - if bitches (as in female dogs) have 8 nipples, and pigs probably have 6-8 because these animals give birth to >1 offspring at the same time. So errm, why do humans have 2 nipples? What's the extra one for? Pervy thoughts come to mind. Hmmm.

Grand Cathay is a nice cineplex, not too crowded. For the record CarlostCow wants to state that the carpark sucks. Ok I agree. Whole building is pretty quiet though, I don't see how retailers can survive long. This concept shop we were at briefly, served expired juice (too bad for them the label was facing me when I was drinking). Ok so a day past expiry is no big deal but heck if they are in the F&B service they should damn well be sure to check their expiry dates. Manager even had the gall to suggest they do not give refunds. You know me, I gave them a black look and asked for my money back, I don't give a flying dung what their policy for refunds were. Point taken.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Spring at Christmas...and a happy Holly Day

By 'spring' I mean spring cleaning. I woke up and all geared and ready to go to yoga on Christmas day. But hmm, since I was going to cook the xmas meal I wanted to make sure I had all necessary ingredients stocked at home. Took a look into the cupboards, boyo, what a mess, I'll just clean it up. And that - cleaning the kitchen cupboards (or rather, the inside of) took a good 3 hrs. Bye bye any further thoughts of yoga. A couple of dead dried up cockroaches in dark cabinets does not a zen experience make. Bye bye expired goods. Bye bye old dirty cutlery and utensils not uses. Bags and bags of trash. Got tired enough at noon to take a break and cook an impromptu tuna pasta lunch (recipe called for olives and parsley which I did not have), but it wasn't too bad. On with the cleaning post lunch, this time to make space in my room cupboards for the 3 new bags I accumulated during the month. Bye bye secondary school and poly textbooks, and old ye faithful dictionary that served me during my teen days. All had to go to make space for bags bags and bags. Total cleaning time, about 6hrs on Xmas day. Apparently I'm not the only one spring cleaning - whilst unloading my trash downstairs seems like everyone in the block had the same idea. :P

Xmas dinner of moussaka, pomegranate rocket salad, pea n potato mash, carrot-tomato soup was a success. All save the soup were first time attempts, all were recipes from Tessa Kiros' book. Well worth the $80 investment, hers is the best cookbook I've invested in so far. Yay.

Unwrapped conCow's xmas pressie for me, turned out to be an iLuv, a cute radio-like docking portable docking station for my ipods. Ipod(s) with an 's' because I got another iPod from him for an xmas pressie, bringing the pod family to a total of 3. Well ok, there's also a new 40gig hdd aptly named Boogie so I could store my iTunes in it. My mac has run out of space. Whoa.

What did I buy conChristmasCow this jolly season? Let's see - oh yeah, an orange Cowculator. Heeheeeheee. It's so giant even the severely myopic would have no problems using it. ha ha ha.

Oh yeah, Happy Holly-day. It's Holly's birthday. Happy 2nd birthday to Holly. She and Bis got a share of the xmas meal (which one of them exploded all over the corridoor this morning as I soon found), and of course a candle on a slice of xmas fruitcake. I don't think she really knows it's a special day and couldn't care less, as long as she's got food in her bowl, she's like Oh Yeah, give it to me dude.

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Tis the season to be Jolly

I mentioned something about ungenerous people in my previous post. Well not really true, I had forgotten about a group of good tekka market friends. Last night as we gathered at Veron's house for a Xmas dinner with no sign board chilli crab, tanghoon and youtiao (really strange type of Xmas dinner food), all our pressies for the gift exchange were under her Xmas tree. Pretty impressive no. of presents I'd say, since we each had to buy 5 for the rest of the gang members. So yeah, I got my 5 presents, pretty good stuff, mostly stuff I wanted and can use. The strangest I suppose was a Muppets dvd, err, I haven't watched muppets in ....years. Guess I'll just fast forward to those scenses where Miss Piggy kicks ass. Yep, kick-ass characters are the winners in my book. ha ha ha.

John outdid himself again with a display of xmas cupcakes. This guy is good. So good his colleagues and friends have started to order pastries from him. Oh and there was some swiss snowmen too, pretty to look at but all marzipan. Too much sugar shock.

Just took a look at one of my credit card bill. Yikes. Haven't brought myself to look at the others and see total damage. Chances are it's altogether the whole months' pay. Sigh. Not so jolly there. I wish I had a money growing tree. Ha ha ha ha. Doesn't everyone?

OM xmas Moo.

Friday, December 22, 2006

Almost Jolly

Xmas is getting near, only a few days away. I had volunteered myself to cook an Xmas dinner. Well it's going to be my first cookout in a long time, and I've got all those brand new cookbooks. So why not? Already planned to go to the market early tomorrow to get some fresh produce. And food for my dogs of course.

YP treated me to lunch today. Verdict - Imperial Treasures very good. Better than Crystal Jade. It's teochew cuisine, and several firsts for me today - teochew dumpling (very good), beancurd skin in soup (really very good), and the elusive pig's stomach soup that is hard to find at high end restaurants which turned out to be as good as a good hawker version. The surprising winner of course, is the Oh Nee (yam paste). I usually do not enjoy yam paste dessert since it's thick, starchy, gluey and oily. But gawd, Imperial treasure's version is incredibly smooth, light, and just exactly right on with the sweetness level. Definitely worth going back. Four thumbs up.

Lenny was hanging out with us today of course, and watching him, it's really hard to eat a meal in peace even though there's two of us adults. Both of us got our eyes on the boy either restraining him, or having to entertain him to avoid any nuisance mischief. Can just imagine if YP were to have another kid, and then the situation of 1 baby + 1 toddler driving her nuts whilst she tries to get shopping done or even have a meal. That's it, I'm staying away from the baby situation. I'll just hire nannies. It's the old english tradition anyway, nannies and governesses just take over after the baby is delivered. Life back to normal for the mommy. In fact, I'll just stick to dogs. At least I can chuck them into the playpen during extreme situations of punishment. And I definitely don't have to take them shopping or to a restaurant. Yay.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

The Illusion of Money

Money buys happiness. Except, if there's no money, then there's no happiness. Which is really the problematic theme of the past 2 days, when a conversation with YP as she was giving me a ride to work struck me right the face. I DON'T HAVE A 13 MONTH BONUS. Holy cow. The realisation felt as if a cow just hoofed me in the head and then knocked the wind off my sails. So I've been happily spending $$ jollying myself thinking my bank account was a little plump. Obviously, now it's going to be much leaner; maybe I should even apply for the equivalent of a third-world-shopper aid fund. I briefly wonder if it's too late to return my shopping to Hogan and Colette and get a refund. Owwww.

I am getting old. Memory is getting poor obviously. Of course, really it's time to cut up those credit cards. Evil banks laying a trap. Did I mention I got a new wallet from Colette? Damn thing is so heavy once I load it up with cards and stuff, I could knock someone into a coma with it if ever I choose to. It weigh like a whole can of beans. No kidding.

Tis the season to be jolly except neither Santa nor anyone has been generous to me. I'm the only one generous to myself. I blithely realise all these years, I've been spending money on presents for people but I hardly get presents from these same people with the exception of YP. Perhaps it's time to cut them off. Bro even had the gall to suggest that I ought to give him presents every birthday since I'm the elder and earn more moolahs than him. I don't ever remember him giving me a present. Selfish prick. As for mom, well, the prodigal son still spends her money. Whilst she sometimes nags about it, she still pays the bills nonetheless. Man, that's such unfair treatment. I haven't spent my mom's money since I started work. Except for the ang pow money she gives me every CNY and birthday of course.

Argh. The more I think about it the more it gets up my back.

OM pissed cow.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

The Zen of Money

Money buys happiness. So they all say. But having money is dangerous. Money in my wallet or credit cards, is exceptionally dangerous. Even more dangerous when I pass by stores with gigantic "SALE" sign printed boldly in red or black. In I go for a browse, out I come with a shopping bag. Mostly a large one.

So I took the day off innocently enough to attend Shiva Rea's yoga workshop. Wow, this lady is good. Her yoga flow and dance really makes me feel like I want to do yoga this way for a long time, maybe I should get her DVD. Hmm. Well, after yoga I was supposed to work from home. But first, lunch with my yoga kakis. Hmm, toenails look overgrown and in need of treatment, so ok, to a pedicure I go. Except I had 30 mins to kill whilst waiting my appointment, so into a boutique I go. Out I come with a sweater. Same cycle repeated at Betula and Colette. Out comes my wallet and credit card, I get swipe-card syndrome trigger happy. Total spending for the day = unmentionable amount. Shhhhh.

Meanwhile, my room gets piled with more shopping bags. More shoes, more bags, more books. I mean, wow, Xmas is a time of giving, so err, who's giving me anything? I guess I just gave myself lotsa pressies. :X

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Creative writing and retail therapy

Exams over at last! yay! I'm done for the year. This paper was on Entreprenuership, and frankly, the professor told us exactly what topics the exams would cover. And even gave us the topics in the same sequence as the exam format. What more could a student ask for? Except maybe the essay answers. Should be an easy exam right? Yup. Except I spent most of my Friday shopping, and dozing off, instead of revising my notes. Hey! I made decent attempts to read the notes, but I swear, the stuff is so boring, hardly entrepreneurial that my eyelids needed sticks to prop them up. And all this despite an extra large double shot latte at my side. My gawd, my caffeine tolerance has certainly moved up several notches. As for the exams, well, since much of the module was taught about creativity and innovation, let's just say I had to be creative about my answers. After all, bullshitting is part of the natural cow phenomenon.

Speaking of shopping, I exercised my right to retail therapy yesterday, yes when I was supposedly supposed to be studying for exams. Tod's sale mah, but I'm so proud, I didn't buy anything from Tod's. Note this doesn't mean I didn't buy anything else. ha ha. Also managed to buy some of the gifts for the tekka gang dinner this coming week. Just a few more to go and I am done. Concow was rather sweet by printing me a couple of Borders coupons. Which I promptly put to good use by buying even more cookbooks which I will hardly use, and which I have absolutely no more shelf space in my room to accomodate. Space in my room is now a premium, shelf space in particular is like the district 9,10, 11 of Singapore. Books and lecture notes all over the desk, and bags bags and more bags on the floor. Time for spring cleaning soon, when I have the time that is.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Shopping Madness

Marketing exam over! Yay! I didn't think I did badly, not great certainly, but considering the boring areyousureitsmarketing notes that was by no mean feat to read, and I managed to read most of them within the day (despite a double shot mocha that lost out to boring notes and put me to sleep some 6hrs later), no, the exams were not too bad. Econs assignment due Monday, but of course I procrastinated and went shopping post-exam and today. I was busy wrapping presents and organizing my room, needless to say I didn't finish econs assignment. :X

Was mentally counting the $$$ I spent on shopping today. Oh wow. And none of the stuff were actually for myself. Double wow. Drew $140 in cash yesterday and only $2 left in my wallet now, and it wasn't as if I spent all that cash on presents. There are still the credit cards....... :X . Can't imagine the damage at Tod's sale when the time comes. Hmm, when is it anyway?

Orchard rd is thronging with people. Bodies are just everywhere. My gawd, there is certainly a population explosion in this country. Just look at the number of filipinos hanging out at lucky plaza. Scary. And even worse, they've proliferated to the level 2 of Orchard MRT station outside the Popular bookstore entrance. Whole groups of them filipinas sitting on the floor with their shoes taken off. Eeuuuwww.

Friday, December 08, 2006

Strange Encounters

1st strange encounter was with a Volvo cabriolet. Mmmm, conCow let me drive it, it's a real babe. So smooth like velvet and so responsive like a sexy woman. Definite yum. But at 168K, that's a lot (years) of Tod's bags and shoes and Tiffanys. Oh well.

Strange encounter #2, United Square is the now what I would call, a place to meet blasts from the past. Spied an ex-poly dude whom I used to date very briefly, with, whoa, celebrity Irin Gan. Is shaven bald heads the in thing these days? My ex-poly friend sports a shiny plate like my bro's. As for Irin Gan, well, err, she's really not much of a babe in real life. All skin and bones and yikes, that big wide mouth (err, did she ever had any dental work done?) and those teeth. Like that also can be model? We seriously lack talent here.

Strange encounter #3. Bumped into an ex-uni classmate whom I also dated very very briefly years ago. Fella is now a seemingly successful real estate agent. Boyo, it was really strange. What are the chances of bumping into 2 former brief dates in the same day in the same place? Voodoo at play here I say. Really bizarre,

Irate, Bothered and Bewildered

Week 2 of Time Not Enough. In week 2, time is STILL not enough, and time is running out fast. Exam on Saturday. I am irate because I've been OTing the whole week at work, getting home only at 9.30pm. That leaves me little time for revision. I am irate because I've got a full plate and more at work because we are still in musical chair mode. I am irate because I've 250 unread emails for the 2nd week ongoing. My temper is short short at a minimum, my voice loud loud nearly maximum, and if there isn't already, there should be a sign on my forehead that says, "talk to me smart, or talk to me at your own risk". I swear, stupid people in this planet must have all converged to my office in the last 2 weeks. No, I don't handle stress well, as my personality profile already attested to this fact, I become more emotional and likely less logical at this juncture. Even my KFC lunch delivery arrived 2 hrs late, I had to yell on the phone lines to the restaurant managers before my burgers showed up. The gall of them still had the audacity to charge us. For being 2hrs late they damn well should have given us a free lunch. So I yelled back and demanded my free lunch. No more KFC for me, never again. No siree. I'll stick with Waffletown.

Sitting here at home trying to make sense of marketing readings and notes. Bewildered and befuddled because, cowdamnit, these Englishmen definitely go around and around in circles before they stop to a point on paper. Gimme american writings anytime, these amercans' english maybe not so powderful or formal, but they get to the point quick. 2hrs into my readings and nothing sticks yet. Heck yeah, am going to be in a whole lotta trouble for exams tomorrow. Englishmen cannot market worth a dung.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Time not Enough

Time time time time time. I need more time. More hours in a day, more days in a week. Well, actually, not more days in a week. I do need more time in a day, and more time in the week to rest. It's a serious case of Time Not Enough. The new girl at work is driving me a little looney, she's young, inexperienced, and slow to pick up what I teach her. Maybe I speak alien to her, but she would work on things I did not tell her to do. Then I have to redo her work. Argh. Already I have my hands full with my current workload, whilst taking on new work handed over by my colleagues. These other folks are good people, but sigh, they are poor planners. I have inherited crap, whilst I have to pass on my golden cake to a newbie so green that moss is growing out of her ears. This is what happens when a dept plays musical chairs with it's employees.

More time is needed because exams are next Saturday, and the saturday after next. I haven't time at all to revise, I'm tired and exhausted from work. Dealing with inept people makes me want to tear my hair out, I could hardly control my voice rising an octave or two higher, "You did what??!....". I feel irate, my body is still stiff, I can't do vinyasas at yoga anymore, and massages hardly relieve the tension in my body. I'm irate, irritable and irritated. Econs assignment is due immediately on the Monday after the coming Sat exams.

Time time, I need more time. I also need serious retail therapy. SERIOUS ones.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Mouth wide shut

I should have kept my mouth shut. But I oh so love shooting my mouth off, it's really a wen-hazard, my mouth is faster than my brain. Today we had a surprise QA audit, so of course we were all caught unprepared. There was a nice little granny-like QA lady, big granny hairdo and all that, but wah, she could sure grill like sotong. No sotong will escape alive and uncooked under her scrutiny. I thought I gave an appropriately correct answer, but when documentation was shown, man, I had to remove my foot from my mouth because it had just proven to everyone I didn't do what I said we were supposed to do. Aiyahh. Die. Actually, I think I didn't have enough feet to shove into my too wide mouth at that moment.

C would agree a lot that I let my motor smart-ass mouth run away too much. Gets me into trouble all the time because I don't let my "near genius" IQ head (no, he'll never let me live down that one either) process thinking before talking. Well, better hope granny QA lady has short term memory. Meanwhile I'll just carry on pretending nothing happened. Doodadeedadum.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

R&R at last

At yoga today, my body is still very much tight, stiff and sure feels like a bag of creaky bones. As I bent over downwards I could feel the hammies and leg muscles protesting. Wah. I decided to get an hour at the foot reflex place to try to iron the kinks out, and as the uncle was kneding the sole of my feet, I could actually feel the 'knots' in feet. They felt like lumpy marbles, and my feet hurt in places it shouldn't normally hurt as the massage continued. Yeah, it's that bad. But the good news was, I started to feel better, and even dozed off. Off next to the spa to get a body massage, and wowwowowowow as my back was being kneaded by a really good new indonesian therapist, I could feel the tension giving way. I fell asleep, and pretty sure I snored somewhat. But I woke up feeling good, muscles and knots all much relaxed in days. Yum. Gotta go back for another one of those soon, and hope my yoga body will come back to me soon. I thought of sending my poor sickandtensedup boyfriend to the spa too, but he's too much of a massage wimp. But he sure could use some spa time to get relaxed. Hmm, maybe he would prefer those places with nubile youngish nymph types....heehee...

Oww my achy (BBQ) bones

I have gone too long without yoga, and probably even before that, too many weeks of gentle classes. My body is stiff in places today like a wound up toy. I mean, even bending forward I could feel my legs trembling and my hammies seemed to stll be dead asleep.. Took a hatha 1 class for 60 mins and that was it for me, I chose the coward's way out and decided to chew my avocado wrap at Toast rather than take another class. Wimp I am. Saw Stephen T at toast though, and contemplated briefly to go over and say hi, but thought better of it since I wasn't feeling uber friendly nor was I feeling conversational. I always got the impression that Stephen T is a somewhat intimidating and proud fella anyway.

BBQ at my boss' boss' place tonite. My contribution was a couscous salad from Tessa Kiros' Cloudberries book, and a thai pomelo salad which I had done before. The pomelo salad was ok, but there must be a whole lot more of ingredients that go into the restaurant version because those at the thai (in bkk) restaurants are so so so good. The couscous salad was a surprise - I'm not a fan of couscous but I could not find a pasta recipe and this was the next best choice. First time trying the recipe and it was an instant winner. I knew I made the right decision to buy the recipe book despite it's $80 price tag. Of course, the thing about BBQ's are that there's always too much food. The pomelo salad had more than 1/2 left by the time we ended the party, and unfortunately I witnessed it's sad demise into the trashbag. I spent more than 1 hr peeling the pomelos and was truly sad to see it go. Next time for a party of 20, I'll just use 1 pomelo.

Achy bones. Murphy's law says that all the spa slots for massages would be taken up and unavailable when you need it. Yeah Murphy's right. Wish bis or holly could step on my back for me now.

Friday, November 24, 2006

To be or not to be

Starting yoga again tonite felt a little strange, like my body wasn't quite sure what to do. Think it felt a little lost. And boy, was it stiff, hammies were tight, back was tight, neck was tight, shoulders etc etc. Going into a room packed with some 40 eager and mostly strong yogi types, the atmosphere was certainly highly charged. All these bodies stretching out, some with unbelievable and enviable flexibility and ease before class started. I just sat there and stoned out. Next to me were a few ladies, obviously in their 40s but wearing skimpy aerobics bra tops and their yoga stretch pants leaving a bare but toned midriff that looked 200% better than my overflowing over the elastic band waist. Wah, when I'm in my 40s, I want a body like theirs. These aunties are damn lithe, they must have been dancers in their youth. Even in pigeon pose, where it is always usually so easy for me, my body and muscles were so tight and wound up I could not sit properly into the pose. I must have aged lots in the past 3 weeks.

Often during class I found myself trying to keep my breath smooth and steady, breathing through the heart, with the heart. None of that huffing, puffing I could hear around me. When Stephen said jump into a pose, I chose walk or ease gently into it instead. My yoga has changed, I'm no longer keen in power classes. Wonder how long I'm going to be in this phase before I move back into before, or maybe, I won't. Maybe I'll just go forward being like this, preferring the slow, hatha and heart yoga. More zen, less power.

OM stiff cow.

Thursday, November 23, 2006


What happens when one is on the verge of giving a graded presentation in front of a roomful of people, and then feels a fart moving to the 'back door' waiting it's turn to move on out (with a bang, or maybe a stealthy ripple) and say Hello! to the world?

You let it rip.

Nah, of course not. That would almost be like presentation suicide. So one just presses on...err, I mean, hold on (or is it hold off)? What we learnt in yoga about lifting the pelvic floor, engaging the bandhas upward, yeah ok, whatever. As long it works. Think it's a well known fact anyway that cows and farm animals contribute a whole lot to methane emissions and global warming.

School is over. AT LAST. Well, for this year anyway. Exams in 2 weeks, and more assignments. But nevermind those, because finally I can go back to yoga soon. I miss yoga. I haven't been to classes in over 3 weeks, and my practice is as stale as an old fart (pardon the pun). Had a quick look at Pure's website and was really surprised to see Stephen T conducting classes this weekend. Happiness as his return, and then the uh oh! kicks in; Stephen's classes are not easy, and as one will expect, a lot of seasoned, athletic, competitive yogi types will be in that class. I just don't feel competitive, not in yoga, not especially after Mark Whitwell's workshop. In fact I've started to dread going to any 'power' yoga class. Power and Yoga are just complete opposites, in it's purest sense it really doesn't make sense. A real modern americanization bastardization of the essence of yoga.

Is it almost Dec already? Wow, time for Xmas shopping. Uh oh, I can hear Slick plotting for an xmas pressie.....

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Anal R' Us

In the Entreprenuership module we each had to take some sort of personality-character profile assessment. Basically it classifies an individual into 1 or 2 out of 4 personality types - the logical (usually engineer types), the organized (administrator types), the feeling (sympathetic, nurses, social worker types) and artistic (IMO, the woozy floozy types). I guess it's no surprised that I fell into the Organized personality type, but according to the test profile, I'm the super duper wuper organized, planned, control dominant type. In short, I'm ANAL. Capital A. Super left brain dominant. My test scores ranked organizational personality over more than double of my logical, creative and emotional skills, i.e. I'm Anal dominant ...or should it be Anal Dominatrix...!!!? :O

Immediately I could see C falling into the completely opposite quadrant from me - the creative, woozy floozy type, the big picture type, who does not follow sequence and logic, a complete failure at organization, can't see the forest for the trees (or is that trees for the forest?). These people suck at time management, because the concept of punctuality is too vague to them. Yep, that's my CreativeConfusedCow. We're complete opposites, but as the saying goes, opposites attract. And it's no wonder he's prone to motion-sickness since most right brained people tend to be that; there was something in the detailed report that mentioned right brain people has the ability to eye-ear coordinate vs left brainers who could only do either one but not both. Ok so that's why he can drive, sms and do some other tasks at the same time. Me, I grip the steering wheel in a death grip and plow ahead. No one talks to me lest I get distracted. No radio, no nothing. Just stare straight ahead.

Now I know why I'm in my job, because my job is so befitting of my anal-personality. And I'm good at it too. Hmm, maybe I should show my test scores to my boss and ask for a raise. Born a planner. Wow.

3 weeks with hardly any yoga, is irritating me. I start to eat more meat, I get more irritated, my temper is shortened and I feel like giving some folks a well deserved kick in the shins. I rant more. Owww...I need to get back to yoga soon. I need to be zen again.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Invention of Time

School 2nd week in a row, boyo I'm exhausted. I've got econs assignment to hand in, marketing materials to read that are about 3 inches thick (which according to MrCannotTeachMarketingtoSavehisLife requires 100hrs reading time) and attending classes on how to be an Entreprenuerial being. Actually it's not exactly a How to Setup your own business class, it's more like a creative thinking class. How to think out of the box, how to solve problems creatively. Similar to those QC circle processes in production shopfloors. Guess if I harboured any hopes of milking a cow, bringing the milk to market and trying to convince the hdb aunties I'm actually selling a natural face-wash that g'tees fair smooth skin....well...I don't think it's the right class for it. Nonethelss it's a fun class. We have been assigned into groups to invent a product as part of our presentation on Thus. Invention is never easy, just look at the bizillion useless inventions and patents on some of the wierdest, wackiest stuff. I mean, people actually invent ear muffs for dogs??? I'm skeptical if we can come up with anything that hasn't already been patented or invented. Bleh. Oh wait, is there an invention I can use to stop Holly from kidnapping Codie??? You know what, the invention I would probably most appreciate is a money making machine. Real, spendable money of course. No wait...someone please invent more time in a day so that I have more time to get through my assignments and researches. Of course it does help that more time in a day means next (getting older) birthdays don't come so soon.

On the bright side, Flushed Away is a superly duperly hilarious animated film. Absolutely hilarious. Those singing slugs? Brilliant. If I had laughed any harder I'll be kissing the unwashed carpeted floor of the cinema.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Toys for Boys

Marketing is over. At last. Gawd, he's really one of the worst. Any kid at A-levels could probably teach that module. Gave Mr.Suck@Marketing a really poor review. I want my money back. Bleh. Entreprenuership starts this weekend, man, between Econs assignment, Marketing and Ent lessons, the next few weeks are gonna be real though as I'll be churning paper after paper and exams after exams. Haven't gone to yoga in 2 weeks. A sure sign of sloth is ever omnipresent when one wears her pants, and rolls of fat spill out from the waistline (yes we already know that) but to take it to a level even higher, the area around the butt has become so tight that I have to attempt to "unpinch" the pants from my arse every now and then because it's riding at the crotch. In fact, all of Monday evening was extremelyl uncomfortable for me in class as I could not sit comfortably because the pants were pinching at parts of my over-spilling thighs and waistline. Man, this really sucks. The other day when sharing dessert with YP at Toast, she commented I seemed to have put on weight. Which I straight out denied, honestly thinking that my diet for 2 weeks have been fairly simple. Only to find myself at the scales later that day, and witnessing the horrific truth that indeed I have put on 2kgs. Of course now we know where the 2kg have gone to. :P

The thing about boys and their toys....well...they like their toys. I got C a toy for his bday pressie, only to find out it's just a model toy that needs to sit nicely in it's box. You can't paint it, take it out to play with it, or remote fly it anyway. Duh. And then we lost C's little toy plane (pressie from his good friend), so I tried to replace it with a remote control Heli. Except these Taiyoh people must be darn lousy toy designers because the stooooopid heli would not lift more than 20cm off the ground. And for $100 piece of styrofoam, it's a real piece of shit. I WANT MY $$$$ BACK!!! Was trying to convince C to bring me to the Taiyo service center so I can stomp my feet and yell at them. I felt bad for my poor missingpressiecow, so I bought a replacement model plane, same that was lost. So far so good. Ok ok so maybe cheap can be good in some cases. Oh btw, it's not really C's plane, it's Slick's plane (damn bugger demanded a toy since he had the gall to tell me I haven't bought him a pressie for HIS bday this year). Wah, got such thing meh?

C went out and bought himself a pressie to - a brand new nokia phone. Which I'm sure he'll bust up, scratch, break and damange in less than 3 months. Dainty fones are not meant for big guys. Period.

All in all, the total $$ we spent on pressies, aiyah, could have bought a new PS3.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

To Market To Market

To buy a fat pig. No not really, well yes, maybe for Bis and Holly. Imagine a cow going to the marketplace, and attempt to barter milk for 1 whole pig. Either the butcher is damn stooopid, or milk has somehow become a valuable and expensive commodity scarce in supply in order for 1-2 litres of milk to get a whole pig.


It's back to school. The subject of the week is....*drums rolls*...MARKETING. Yep, the fine art of going to the marketplace, telling the bucher, "Uncle, I wan 2kg topside, and oh, throw in 1kg oxtail free hor...". And then maybe bat one's eyelashes for added effect to complete the transaction. Once again, either butcher is really dumb (or a sucker for batting eyelashes), or this is pure wishful thinking on my part. The latter would be true of course. I digress. It's same old Ya Kun brekkie, this time some (possibly) Australian of greek origin (given the strange sounding last name) but speaks with a strong Brit twang. Ah. The effects of internationalization. But damn, this fake Tod's sucks, cuz his speaks at a rate of 10 words per min and it sure feels as if we're in Marketing for Kindergarten rather than Marketing for MBA students. Man, what a letdown, you can see all students in class spacing out. Definitely not promising.

Happier things: belated b'day dinner with C at Hua Ting, with a fab 50% discount thanks to those hotel food cards. Seriously, cold crab, peking duck, sharksfin soup, cod fish, beef steak, veggie and dessert for $100 is a damn good steal. Of course, they do add to my increasing contribution of sludge that goes into the country's New Water processing plant. Speaking of sludge, my contribution has tripled and sometimes quadrupled recently. Wow. If only money grows at the same rate. Ha ha.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Death by Italian

Maybe because I'm semi-vegetarian zen diet too long. I haven't overeaten in a long time. In fact, in eons. In fact, I don't think I overate at all - 1 tiny piece of escargot the size of a 20c coin, one piece of buffalo mozzarella 1 inc thick, 1 bowl of pumpkin broth (that thing cannot be qualified as a cream SOUP), 1 scampi/2 scallops/2 peeled prawns/1 sliver of fish so thin it's not even 0.5cm thick. 2 tablespoons of dessert - maybe 1/4 panna cotta, 1/6 dark choc valhorna, 1/6 creme brulee. Something like that. But by the time I was stuggling to down my last bit of prawn, I already felt like my tummy was about to explode. You know, the feeling of food being 'stuck' somewhere under the sternum, at the ribcage. It's a damn uncomfortable nearly I'm-gonna-throw-up feeling. Almost felt like I was dying a slow suffocating death. If someone came over and elbowed me in the ribs, I'm sure a goner.

Anyway, Garibaldi is as I expected - overpriced, overrated, over -pretentious. Ours was the only table that did not order wine, and I guess that was why we were somewhat snubbed, despite the $600 food bill for 6 of us. Not that we're a bunch of clerical staff having a big nite out, mind you. Our table was mostly a bunch of high-powered earners (save for me of course), but then, looking around, tables around us were groups of even higher-powered earners. The other diners practically reeked of fashion, big banking money and high powered types. Just look at all their coiffed hairdo and big thick pearls. Anyway, no thank you, Garibaldi will be my first (actually 2nd) and last time. I'll take my $$ Valentino's. Gimme Valentino's anytime.

School tomorrow. Cows go Marketing - i.e they teach us the fine art of going to tekka market and bargain 30 cents of ikan bilis to the impossibly cheap price 10 cents? Whoooieee!

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Squashed cockroach....and other strange droppings

So ironic in my last blog I mentioned the squashed cockroach bit. For when I came home on Sunday after yoga, shortly after to hear mom yell whilst in the kitchen. Apparently there was a giant cockroach crawling around the dried goods drawer, having a good time with a certain rotting onion. So there I was to the rescue, the cockroach was heavily doused in Baygon and suffocated under a thick cloud of Baygon, and then violently smacked with a rolled up magazine before being unceremoniously squashed (several times with effort) by the bottom of the Ridsect can. Yes, as it lay in the throes of death, its creepy legs doing their final twitch, I marvelled at the irony of Margaret Chan and her infamous cockroach quote. Maybe she had foretold the day would come where Cow-with-Baygon-spray vs Giant-Onion-Eating-Cockroach. Cows won, cockroach K.O.'d.

Daily Poo Index - is at it's maximum grossness. Some other dog left a messy pile of watery LS-poo at the big field. For some horrific reason Bis and Holly were extremely attracted to it. Holly the rubbish bin without a doubt attempted (and was somewhat successful at taking a few bites and licks at it). YUCK YUCK double yuck even as I write (oh gawd, the memory of it still clear in my mind). Even the normally very fussy Bis was sniffing his way around and took a few good licks. Apparently the same stray dog or whatever that left the messy pile behind, left another similar pile further up the path. Needless to say both my stoooooopid dogs helped themselves to some of it before I yelled my lungs out at them. Eeuuuuww. To give the gross factor more oomph, both did the same thing again the next day on the walk. Euuuww euwww. At that point I decided I would feed them the worming tablet. Triple quadruple eeeeuoowww and grossness when I had to stick my finger into their (not so clean) mouths to shove the tablet down their throats. Aiiieeee. YUCK.

Since we're on this topic, there's something to be said about practising a few rounds of Uddiana bhanda every morning when I wake up. Yes it's a practice for inner cleansing, and it stimulates the innards. Yep surely rather effective, because my own innards are getting 'detoxed' at the rate of twice daily (sometimes up to four). Wow, no wonder they sometimes call the WC the "throne room". Hmmm.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Ugly Duckling

Boy was I an ugly teenager. Really. Seriously. I didn't realise how ugly (well, not at that age anyway). Yesterday when in my bro's room to get some tape I spied a large photo album on the floor. My kapoh auntie-ness urged me to go over and sneak a peek - slightly thrilled at the thought of possibly finding some pictures of my bro living the secret life of a cross-dresser, or maybe his selection of favourite porn film titles (and possibly a few old stains on some of his 'fav' pictures, wahaha). Anyway, all thoughts and anticipation of finding secret loot was immediately squashed just as Emily from the really bad 80's local tv series Masters of the Sea would in her infamous shrilly quote, " a cockroach..". (Hey that series was really really bad, and most of us who've been around surely know the cockroach quote).

Now where was I? Oh yeah, pictures of myself, my ex and bro on holiday in Australia. Wah, I had forgotten about it, as in, I don't even remember making a trip there. The album reminded me that it was our 'yay we have graduated from poly' holiday, know, the holidays student take to celebrate end of school, and a new life dreaming of earning plenty of $$$$. Of course, 10 years from that dream, the realities of life tells us, there's no plenty $$$ to be had, because all $$$ spent on Tod's. Plus one does need to keep her job so she can feed her dogs.

Anyway, back to the album, the forgotten memories of 10yrs ago. Bro looked ok, ex bf looked ok, I looked like....the female version of bro (which doesn't say much for me, since bro wasn't a good looking boy). Wahlau eh, that hairstyle, that wavy look, that...that...that.....horrible dress sense (what in the world would possess me to dress like that! in ugly baggy t-shirt and jeans etc). Seriously though, the more I look at it, the more convinced I looked like taiwanese actor Lin Zhi Ying. No, not a compliment. Wait wait, as I type this now, I suddenly remember why I had ugly dress sense. The ex was pretty adamant about making sure my dressing does not attraction. One of the reasons I'm glad that relationship is over. *stick middle finger at him* (wherever he is now).

Ok, in summary, I was an ugly teenager. Con wouldn't date me then even if he had met me. Heck, I wouldn't even date myself if I looked like that. Yeeow. Thank goodness I'm sure I'm much better looking now. Quick check of my japan trip photos with YP eons ago confirmed I'm definitely prettier vs teenage years of before. Thank goodness, else I better contact famed plastic surgeon Woffles Wu and have him pull, stretch, and cut me into shape.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Happy Halloween

It's halloween. I went shopping for deco so that we could dress up our cubicles. Needless to say it got a lot of attention in the office and won praises from people who were not creative enough to think to decorate their own cubicles. ha ha.
Dress code is gothic today, so I borrowed some ugly black top from mom and my own cop copine pants. Plus the gothic makeup, very grunge and black-dorothy like. Too bad no red pointy shoes. Gave the cleaning lady a shock when she came by to clean the house. A girl at the lift lobby made an immediate beeline for the stairs when she saw me. A mom hugged her 2 kids tightly to her when I stepped into the lift. Ah well, guess that means the outfit is working.

Even Slick got into the mood. I sewed his costume on the way to work in the cab. Not bad eh?

Sunday, October 29, 2006

The Economics of Caffeine

Why did the chicken cross the road? To maximise utility (according to economists anyway). Ok, econs exam over. AT LAST. Though I doubt I did well (or even average), which is a real shame considering in retrospect, the questions were kinda like econs 101 and I did (do, actually) have a basic degree in economics. But as with every econs exam, I got all curves confused at the crucial moment. Ah well.

By the way I'd like to state for the record, and declare the ultimate, most effective sleeping pill ever is not Valium, or whatever those drug companies make. It's an economics textbook. Pure and simple. Read it for 10 mins and guaranteed instant sleepiness and a visit to la-la land. I'm a caffeine sensitive person, and 1 cuppa at 4pm will likely keep me awake till past midnite, but for the sake of revisions last week, I risked downing caffeine in the evening after dinner in a bid to stay awake for revisions. The conclusion? Either I've built up a caffeine tolerance (thanks to Spinelli's at my office), or econs texts are the ultimate sleep inducer. No caffeine was able to keep me awake for more than 30mins (and later than 11pm) the moment I started reading the textbooks. Econs text simply and easily overpowered Starfreakingbucks. Amazing.

6th anniversary yesterday. Time really passes. We had dinner at Valentino's where the man himself came out personally to take care of our orders. Family home style italian cooking, yum. They even made us a special cake and nearly broke out into a song and dance, but sometimes things don't go like planned. Ah well, we can't have all we want in life - if I could, I want the winning 4D numbers (speaking of which, today's papers said a certain tua pek kong at AMK is quite 'zun'). Hmmm.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

I have coupons (not)

So my buddies from the tekka market gang saved me the 30% Borders discount coupon which I was so eager to have so I could spend more unecessary $$ on pretty books. So I set Con-cussedcow up on the pretext of hanging out for dinner and coffee, hoping to make a quick drop-by to Borders so I can spend my coupons (of course, Concussedcow so gladly obliged, even though he sniffed a rat). So after a nice chill-out at the United Sq Starbucks (which makes a great great evening hang out btw), we rode out to Borders where I dashed in to make my coupon purchases. I pick out a few mags and a yoga book.

I plonk down the stuff at the cashier's:
Me: (pointing to the book) I have a 30% coupon for this one.
Cashier: Ok (scans barcode).
Me: (digging and rifling rapidly through my wallet)...which I did not bring...

Stunned silence for 30 secs from the cashier.

O...K... so I harassed my friends for coupons, I set my Cowdude up so he'd take me to Borders, to buy books I don't need and don't have time to read anytime soon (at last count, I have 6 copies of Vanity Fair still in shrink wrap, 2 novels, 3 non-fiction, 3 yoga books, 1 chinese novel, 1 chinese drama dvd yet unwatched/unread) - and the anti-climax was I forgot to bring the coupons which I 'worked' so hard to procure. Yep. Such is Murphy rearing his ugly head.

Lucky for me the story had a good ending, the poor cashier took pity on me and decided to give me the 30% discount anyway. Maybe cuz he was afraid I'd burst out in tears or something.

On a separate note, quite 99% sure we know who the nab-Codie culprit is. Took Holly with me to Veron's house for lunch, leaving Bis at home, with Codie on the bed. When I came back, Codie was exactly where he was. Aha.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Jamie Oliver I am not

The thing about recipes is, when you need to double them or increase the portions, somehow the recipe doesn't work as well. Today we had potluck at veron's place, I contributed a spiced pork dish which had turned out excellent on the last occasion I made it. The first thing that should have alerted me to "something will go wrong today" is when the butcher mistook my "uncle, 1kg pork shoulder" as "1kg pork, 'shou-de'", which in chinese means 1kg lean pork. When in fact I wanted pork with a bit of fat which would make it good for stewing. 2nd thing that should have alerted me was when I cut the pork into cubes and realised, uh oh, they look too big and will take time to tenderize. But somehow I just ignored my inner wisdom and carried on. Needless to say I'm not too impressed with the final outcome, and I think, neither was anyone else, though folks were too polite to mention anything. Where's my culinary flair when I need it?? Sigh. By the way, cutting up 12 chillies, 16 shallots and 8 cloves of garlic to blend into belachan really left a sting on my left hand, it's been some 7hrs since i started the belachan prep and my hand still feels chilli-hot and numb. Whoa. Wonder how do the malays and indonesians actually do this day after day?

Exams on Sat, yawn. Not going too far with my reading, did I mention how reading 5 mins of the text puts me to la-la nirvana sheep counting land? No need for yoga therapy. Econs text is the ultimate sleep inducer.

Monday, October 23, 2006

She Drives me Crazy III

She drives me crazy
Like No one else
She drives me crazy...

Oh yeah, this is the song my poor konfusedconcow is probably singing these days. A mad cow being driven crazy will be a mad mad cow. I think he rather wish he'd be run over by a car, perhaps definitely less painful. Oww his aching head. Maybe there's something about the fengshui in my house that makes the females who live in there pain in the necks, butts and all unmentionable regions. Dunno about mom though.

I'm a bad mommy, gotta admit it. Even though I've got short haired dogs that only need 10mins of grooming weekly, I'm too lazy to even give them a weekly bath sometimes. Haven't clipped their nails in over 4 weeks, and haven't cleaned their ears in like....6 months. Haven't brushed Bis' coat in over a year I think. C was aghast. I think he was on the verge of calling SPCA, probably Slick would too, but his secret motive would be to get rid of Bis and Holly for good. Ok ok just for the record both dogs were nicely groomed last night, so officially they are now handsome/ pretty again. This just affirms I'm not having kids - I'll probably leave them in their diapers for weeks before I change them. Unless my dogs wanna lick their butts clean....EEeeeuuuuww.

Saturday, October 21, 2006

A Wandering

Ever since Mark Whitwell's workshop I've become too lazy to go to yoga, or have been using his philosophy "yoga is not about asana, but it's breath, bandha, pranayama" to cut back on hard, power classes, and opting for easy, simple, no sweat hatha style instead. Today, I opted to join Jason Birch's class on Kriya/ Pranayama, and then decided to go a-wandering in town rather than regular class at Pure. A rarity indeed, especially considering the hazy outside. Of course the 30% borders coupon today did play it's part in making that decision, in fact, I contemplated seriously to buy a few more copies of the ST so I could get a few more coupons. My cookbook craving is back - I've added to my collection (and to a struggling to stand, bursting at it's sagging shelves bookshelf) 3 more cookbooks. And another 3 more in the wish basket via acmamall's 25% cookbook promo this month. Not that I'm ever going to use most of them, they are just pretty to look at and to collect. I've a few books here in the shelves I haven't experimented with yet. In keeping with my yoga practice, I attempt to be vegetarian most times but find myself struggling quite a bit lately. As with most things in my life, impulse is a large player, waning and waxing through various cycles.

Spent time at the Action Hair spa thanks to a citibank voucher which entitled me to a cheaper rate for their Hair Spa. Hair spa is an indulgence - have only ever tried it twice before, both experiences very heavenly and satisfying, but at some $150 per visit, an indulgence I can ill afford, giving consideration how many yoga classes and cookbooks it can buy. Whilst I was rather reluctant (and still at this point till now, wondered if I should have) to spend $100 for a hair treatment, it was a lovely experience. I had forgotten how nice it was, to sit in a private lounge in a sofa, relaxation music and getting a scalp massage. The novelty of it, they even put me in an Osim massage chair for 15mins where I nearly dozed off. $100 for 2hrs was time well enjoyed, I was half expecting them to sell me a package, and was quite disappointed when they did not. Ah well, money saved for the future I guess.

Wandered down to - no surprise, the Jap soba place for the $5 tea time dessert. Today, as I contemplated over my red bean and green tea tofu, with Janet Seidel's jazz music playing from my ipod, that life is indeed transient. All that I own or have, will leave me eventually. There's just some music that brings a cynical smile to my face, a little loneliness, and a feeling of emptiness.

Now, who will be the final Survivor - Bis, Holly or Slick? Or could it be the much battered Codie??

Friday, October 20, 2006

She Drives me Crazy II

Ok so we took the Bis to the park sans Holly yesterday right? Bis was deliriously happy of course, as he understood the "NO HOLLY" concept almost from the moment we left our house. Unfortunately it seemed Holly too, understood the "NO HOLLY" concept at precisely the same moment, for my bro grumpily informed me last night that Holly started yelling and screaming her head off like a banshee the moment we left. Of course I've never heard anything like it, and I still don't, but according to bro, she was just yelling and yelling her head off non-stop, she paced in and out of his room, demanded (as in use her front legs to paw my bro) his attention, and then paced out of the room, to continue yelling. This went on for a good 2hrs. I suspect bro was a little miffed it sorta put a damper on his romantic interlude with his new date. LOL.

Bro tells me he now understands why Bis needs a break from Holly. He even had to shut his room door to keep the yelling down, but unfortunately the girl started to demand entry by scratching on the door non-stop, whilst yelling all the time.

Of course, when I arrived home...things were all peaceful and quiet of course. LOL.

Thursday, October 19, 2006 Holly....

Took 2 days off to attend a workshop conducted by a visiting harvard medical professor on yoga and reasearch, stress, and sleep issues. C remarked that it's amazing how I was willing to take 2 days off to attend a daytime workshop with a bunch of old ladies - I assured him I was sure there'd be other participants, but yes, once again he was right - rest of the participants are mostly a bunch of senior ladies. Several of them my former yoga teachers at Shambhala, haven't seen them in 5 yrs. Yet for the past 2 days we sat huddled together in the studio at Gaia, busy scribbling notes as the professor droned on and on and on. As for my comments about this workshop....well, I'll say that Kundalini sounds very much like a woo-woo thing, the 'yoga' exercises the prof briefly had us practise....really rather woo-woo. Did it induce sleepiness? Sure. Did it reduce my stress? Umm, don't think so. Did it help me meditate? Nope, was too busy thinking about grabbing a slice of Bazerzin blackforest cake from the outlet nearby at Paragon.

This afternoon after the workshop we took Bis to the park to celebrate his birthday. In attendance was Slick, minus Holly. C suggested that it would be good to give Bis a break on this special day, so we did. He sure seemed to know it, and was really smiling and prancing away. Until he spotted 2 large dogs at the park, and he froze and got nervous and edgy once again. His stress level was obviously up. Sigh, what a wuss. C bought him a nice banana cream cake from a doggie bakery (yum yum, nice, I snitched some). Bis took a whole 30mins but hardly ate more than 1/4. At home, Holly polished off a whole 1/2 cake in under 1 min. Yeah, we should rename her "Trash Compactor".

Econs exam in 1 week, I have barely started revision. Each night I try, I'm either too tired, or reading the notes put me to sleep in under 5 mins. Maybe I should conduct my own "Sleep" workshop, whereby I just need to hand out a bunch of econs notes to the insomniac participants and voila! All will fall asleep within 15 mins of reading those damn things. And I'll be rich, rich rich.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

She Drives me Crazy

...what was that song from the 80s (or was it 90s), that goes like this:

She drives me Crazy
Like no one else
She drives me Crazy
But I can't help myself....

yeah, that's what Bis will sing, and even Codie. Yes the song is about Holly. Whoever wrote that song back then must have known Bis and Codie would land in this situation someday. Codie has been nabbed repeatedly in the past few days; on Saturday when I went to market, I made sure to hide Codie under a few pillows and piled my laundry on top of the pillows. When I got home mom told me, laundry was strewn all over the floor, and pillows mussed, and Codie was found in the living room. That same day, after I came out from the shower, Codie was found on the floor again. On tues, taking advantage of the cleaning lady being here, Codie was once again kidnapped. What is it about Codie that could make Holly sniff him out from layers of hiding place???

As for Bis, well, we know Holly drives him crazy all the time. 'Nuff said. If Bis was human, I bet 101% he's gay. Yesterday was his 4th birthday, he seemed to know it and looked happy for once. Today he's back to his usual mulling sullen angst-filled self once more. As he ages, he becomes more and more ball-less (ok ok so he's already ball-less), as in, he's a total wimp. He doesn't socialise with other dogs anymore, and prefers to RUN home when he spots others from afar. Holly on the other hand, is as fearless as she is clueless. Actually, the only thing Bis is friendly with these days are the members of the Rat family living in the big field at Kim Keat Ave. Maybe he's cranky from not having rats to play with in the past couple of days, wouldn't be surprised if rats died of bad-air inhalation given the bad haze these days.

Monday, October 16, 2006

Facing up to Reality

...needs to happen when one puts on the pants purchased from a recent $400 Isetan shopping spree, to find that the pants are a little too tight. when one puts on another pair of hipster pants, only to find that it's gotten so tight it's riding up to the crotch, and one cannot eat too much because a full tummy strains at the buttons.

...and the straw that broke the camels back is when one puts on her beloved Tiffany & Co. ring, but finds extreme difficulty in trying to remove it from the finger without the help of lotion or soap, because the fingers have become 'fat'.

Man, I love my jap desserts. It's my new obsession since chinese dramas no more. But maybe it's time to relook at my un-zen diet. Sigh.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Big mouth no more

Went to the dentist today for my regular polishing and mentioned to him about my 'off the joint' jaw problem on the left. Apparently it's pretty normal, due to wear and tear of the ligament. Most have it at some point in time, some more severe than others. Apparently I must have had a minor dislocation which was why I wasn't able to open my mouth for weeks to even slot a spoonful in. Dentist's advice? Don't yawn too widely (which I do), don't laugh with mouth extra wide open (which I do), don't chew too hard (I don't, I'm semi vegetarian now, yeah?). And oh yeah, eventually the wear and tear will occur on the right side too. It's only natural (whaaaaaattt!!!?).

Moral of the story? I will either be slacked jawed before I'm 40, or start chewing sideways like cows do when they munch grass. And oh, I better start mastering the art of sucking food through a straw. Yeah.

One thing for sure now, better not eat any steaks. Good news is, I can still eat durian puffs, and I had no qualms downing 8 of those really fresh puteri mas babies. Yum. I can see my arse now, baby.

Oh one last thing, C's lawyer must be some quack. Now we're all pretty sure Bis and Holly won't be destitute and homeless after all. But oh, Slick will still be buried with me (another loud yell of "Noooooooooo......!!!!") from the corner of my bed.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Just a few comments...

1. Hugh Jackman - gawd, so sexy. Drool factor 10/10.
2. Scarlet Johanssen has a wide butt.
3. Woody Allen is damn funny. (and how can a guy who looks like THAT get a wife 1/2 his age? And she was his adopted daughter....sheessh).
4. According to C, the local legislation states that one's Will is only effective, or can be executed 3 yrs after one's death. HUH??! That means Bis and Holly will be homeless and destitute for 3 yrs? Or worse still, Slick may farm them both out to the SPCA as slave labour and they both have to lick cages clean for a living. Eeeuuw.
5. I'm contacting my lawyer on #4.
6. Wait, what will happen to Codie when I die??
7. Alright, Slick shall be buried/cremated with me when I move to the nether world. At least I won't be lonely (did I just hear something yell, 'Nooooooooooo.......!!' at the corner of my bed)? hmmm.

Monday, October 09, 2006

Rat 1: Dogs 0

The Daily Rat Index is back! In a no holds barred match of Dogs vs Rat, clearly Rat had the upper hand (or feet, or whiskers, or tail....errr...). My dogs smell a rat from 100 metres off, no kidding. And when they smell one, they zoom off at warped speed, leaving me to breathe in their dust (or doggy fart). Tonight, it was a tough one - the rat was big, maybe the local rodent version of Hulk Hogan. I suppose the rat population might have convened a 'family gathering' ala mafia style, discussed the dog vs rat situation at length, and opted for 'Uncle Hulk' to represent them in the final showdown. In the long drawn battle lasting a good 30mins, I think Rat must have managed to take a few successful swipes at Bis, for I heard him yelp repeatedly and loudly a few times (kinda like dog version of "Ouch! Bloody asshole!"). Holly clearly had less of a clue what was going on, but she figured out enough to nip at Rat now and again. Of course there was one hilarious moment when Rat clearly must have launched an attack on Holly too, because she yelped and jumped some 1/2 metre into the air, did a half twist (sorta like competitive diving) and landed on all fours again. I wouldn't say she could qualify for the Bolshoi ballet wasn't very elegant. 30mins into the fight and seeing how my dogs weren't exactly on the winning side, I decided to call off the match. Except 100m way later, Bis clearly decided he wasn't about to give up, and zoomed off into the field again to launch a second attack. Didn't exactly win that one either.

On a separate note, it's OOPS I DID IT AGAIN. No, not jap dessert, but spending $$ where I don't really need. So I went for the Origins mushroom facial (ha ha, no, they don't grow mushrooms on my face) and had $70 to offset against purchases. I was happy with what I redeemed for $70 when I spotted a large sign at the cashiers that said, "Free with purchase of $150 and above" - it was a pouch with a large sized Ginger wash. I was sold. Hopeless. Even though there was a feeble mental attempt to realise that I had to spend another $80 in retail to get a $30 ginger wash which I didn't really need, my weak inner self prevailed. What was that yesterday in the workshop about listening to my body? Yeah. Ok, so now I have a few more useless I-don't-really-need-these toiletries in my drawer stash. So there.

OM weak heart.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

The Heart of a Yoga

Spent the entire weekend at Mark Whitwalls "Advancing your yoga" workshop. What I thought would be a no holds barred, bust your chops (and flabby arse) type of class turned out to be primarily a lecture and yoga discussion. No wonder very few signed up for this workshop - I was surprised, and then not, cuz most yoga students are only interested in asana, and not prana. Mark brought us back to Yoga 101 - that yoga is from the heart, and not the bastardized modern day version of now what has become 'american gymnastics'. How true, that yoga is for yourself, not about emulating and huffing and puffing our way to what we think is the 'idea' pose which we all try to achieve. If we can't do a pose, we can't. It's simply the journey there using bandhas and breath that counts. Speaking of bhandas, I think I have finally figured out my mula and uddiana bhandas. For the first time ever since I remembered, I was able to experience the elusive uddiana. If nothing else, this workshop has taught me how to engage the lock, by pure and simple breathing. Also for the first time, I felt how Bakasana with uddiana engaged made such a big difference.

Of course, slothful cow that I am, as it was mostly lecture and talks during the entire 12 hr workshop, there were times I almost nodded off to sleep. During the last 2hrs of the workshop, I was haunted by repeated images of dessert at the soba restaurant at paragon. Tea time was until 5.30pm where they had a $5 dessert promo. Whilst everyone else was intensely deep breathing, I was raring for workshop to end so I could dash out for dessert. Not exactly a very zen thing. Let's just say that if I were at the gates of God's kingdom, and there was a sign that says "This way to Heaven", and on the opposite side was a sign that said, "Beautiful Jap desserts for $5", no prizes for guessing which way my flabby arse will be heading for.

I made it to dessert 10 mins before 5.30pm. Dessert plus a pot of tea and only $5.55 poorer! I was ecstatic....but wait until my flabby arse tells me otherwise. Ah well. At the heart of this cow at that moment was only the image of dessert.

OM Dessert....

Thursday, October 05, 2006

The model of the smoking Cow

What happens when a cow tries to smoke? It will become one rather charred slab of beef. Inasmuch as I'd like to, this econs exam there is an unwritten 'no smoking' policy. Because one just cannot smoke economics, i.e. cannot cowdung i.e. cannot bullshit one's way through the exam answers. What happens if one tries? One becomes charred beef.

Consider this - if the exam question were to ask "What happens if a cow tries to smoke? Evaluate." One would immediately jump to the conclusion: "You get smoked beef." Short, simple, succint. Straightforward. Right? Nooooooooo. Unfortunately the german fake Tod's would probably want us to write something like this: cow = female bovine. Smoke = i.the process of inhaling a ciggy; ii. the method of cooking food over the fumes of a flame; iii. the by-product of a fire. In our model we assume the defintion ii. Assumption - a. parts of a healthy female cow (already butchered) are procured through barter at the tekka market; b. a grill is available at one's premise; c. Slick, Bis and Holly are in standby to attack said bovine meat and feast with gusto upon issue of the command "GO!". Methodology - turn on grill, heat to high, put meat on grill for 5 mins. Repeat process at medium heat, and low heat. Findings - cow smoked at high heat = charred smokey overcooked beef. At medium heat the flavour is more palatable, but seasoning is needed. At low, it's smokey on the outside, and raw on the inside. C would probably enjoy version "low". Conclusion - when a cow tries to smoke, one gets Smoked Beef. duh. BUT...... the degree of smokiness will DEPEND on the conditions of cooking and the quality of bovine bartered at the marketplace (bearing in mind Slick would have likely executed a covert beef swap using his Panama-nian middle man who would help him hawk off the good beef at a stall in Jln Cowsung in Penang). So in the end, we are all screwed.

Man, we are really all screwed when it comes to Econs exams. Cows are not logical creatures. They just sit there, chew grass and contribute to global warming but outputting methane gas at the rate of 4x per hour. Few of us would analyze how many litres of milk our udders provide daily, and how much of that output is used to make milk, and cheese, and yoghurt. And the ratio of each that is consumed domestically and the ratio of export. Thus the resulting contributing factor to GDP.

No, cows brain dead. When it comes to econs anyway. :P

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Capitalism and 2 Cows....err, or is that Communism?

It has started - Economics class. Not home econs, but market economics - the buy, sell, trade, barter, exchange, where the whole world is represented on a couple of graphs on 2 axis and the intersections here and there apparently have some meaning and various implications. One of the subjects I dread most because one cannot smoke it in econs. Nevermind I have an economics degree, all that I have learnt in the past have now deteriorated to zero (possibly even negative) after years of mental rot. The fake Tod's this time round is one very tall made-in-germany. These fakies get better and better each round - this one also fast talking, very bright, very logical and very scientific. And of course, very technologically advanced....because he uses Apple.

The problem with econs is that it requires one to think like a scientist, using logic and processes to arrive at a conclusion. Wah, you can see almost all students in class blinking their eyes in compounded confusion. After all these years of being businessmen/women, none of us could really understand how the heck can the real world be explained by lines on 2 axis and a bunch of assumptions holding something or the other constant. Since the last 2 days, I've come to the conclusion that communism is probably best. Govt plans everything and everyone gets a fair share. Life is simple, right? Communism is have 2 cows, everyone helps you take care of them, and we all share the milk. Actually, it's better if someone else has 2 cows, I go attend yoga classes, come home and get some milk. :)

Cow economy is so much more difficult in capitalism, I mean, so we have 2 cows, we milk them, on the way to the marketplace to sell the milk, some is spilt. And we are still taxed for 2 cows, the milk we produced (nevermind we split them), the prices we get on the milk we sell....and probably have to sell our remaining milk to demanding customers who want "buy 1 get 1 free" or they will go to the goatsmilk stall next door. C says, so we have 2 cows, we should just sell 1 and buy a bull, and we'll have many baby cows, lotsa milk and we can sideline into the beef and veal business. Maybe even open a steakhouse. Oh wow. The Marketing guy will probably say this is brilliant, the HR professor will likely say we need to implement a policy on 40-litres productivity per week per cow and provide benefits like monthly spa and ear-cleaning services. Economics guy will come around and try to scientifically prove that 40-litres is not the optimum output where the firm can maximise revenue, and the Accountant will suggest that we have 2 cows, we sell 3 to our publicly listed using letters of credit opened by Slick at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all 4 cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping 5 cows. The milk rights of 6 cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by a majority shareholder (who else but Slick?), who sells the rights to all 7 cows' milk back to the listed company and proceeds from the sale are deferred. The annual report says that the company owns 8 cows, with an option on one more.

Err, nevermind, I think I'll stick to being semi-vegetarian. And so we have 2 vegetables....

Saturday, September 30, 2006

Journey back to Zen

It's been awhile since I've blogged about my yoga practice, guess as all things in life goes, it just becomes a part of one's routine, and stagnants until something inspiring (or otherwise) changes it. My yoga practice has been stagnant awhile - you know, reaching a part in the curve that says "diminishing marginal returns" or something (drats, econs class starts tomorrow), Anyway, the practiced has sorta flattened out, and haven't been able to make any significant breakthroughs in awhile. Maybe it's cuz I'm practicising under various teachers, and things tend to go a bit haywire vs a dedicated practice under 1 teacher. I like Viv, just too bad at sham it's pay per class, otherwise at Pure, hardly anyone can help me move along my practice like Viv can.

Finishing an advanced workshop with Stephen Thomas from the Pure HK studio tonite, reminded me how pure and how beautiful the practice is. He's 41, and certainly looks and has the body of a person 10 yrs younger, and has a beautiful practice. It seems different from the class he taught when Pure first opened in SG, more ashtanga and less hatha, but today is hatha at the heart and the core of the soul. Groove yoga class, he calls it. Hatha and movement to the flow of groove music. With the intense energy levels of all the students in class, the journey of the inner self becomes much more open, much more aware. Just really disappointed I have to give the entire 12 hr weekend workshop a miss, if tonite's class is a good opener to what lies ahead, I bet the workshop is going to be smashing. But it's back to school to Econs tomorrow, and Econs is not a subject I can smoke despite having earned a bachelor's degree in economics - hey, that's a thing of the past, and now I can barely differentiate marginal utilities and marginal costs and whatever those curvy curves are supposed to represent. Yucks. I used to love econs, that's cuz I had a great teacher. But then it all fizzled out with subsequent econs teachers. Guess the same applies to yoga. But tonite I found my peace, the beauty and the quietness of the practice. No tension, no holding breaths, just being there and letting go.

Om Shanti Shanti Shanti.

Friday, September 29, 2006

Pain in head, Pain in pocket

My post-vacation euphoria is almost over. Nearly and pathetically squished no thanks to a bad miami-not-so-nice-vice that gave me a 2 day headache, a crater-size-of-england ulcer that has grown since last night (now a sizable 0.5cm across and any deeper, my gums will rot), plus another overwhelming fatigue thanks to Isetan sale shopping last nite.

About the Isetan sale - you either love it or hate it. Women love it because of the deep, massive discounts, we're talking 30%+10% extra for private sales. Hate it because, no where in this country you'd find so many female bodies packed into every inch of space, stepping over strewn clothes, stepping on each others' toes, jabbing elbows, pushing bags, and queues so long it snakes around in concentric circles it makes the most sane person dizzy. At 9pm last night, scores (thousands) of women still shopping with bright eyed fervour, like people possessed. Spending monies as if they owned the ATM machine. Maybe it's because I'm just back from vacation, but more likely due to my semi-yogic-zen lifestyle, such inyourface competitive shopping isn't for me anymore. I felt like I was watching Miami vice all over again. Painful.

And if the scores of bitching jabbing women were not bad enough, turns out most of the women's clothing were going at 30% discounts. That means, all the $400 I spent at isetan (thanks to a failed Rojak outing) 2 weeks before, could have cost me $280 if I waited for the sale. GRRRRRrrrrr!!!! So, the $5 rojak really actually cost me $400 + $120. OUCH. OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH. That's like another Krabi vaction. Major OUCH.

Didn't I say I have an crater sized ulcer? So now I cannot chew on my left. Since I haven't been able to chew on my right for weeks, the jaw joint a little out of place from it's socket I think, that means I'm going to have to master the art of sucking food with a straw real soon. Either that or inhale food through my nose. Hmm puts a new spin into the yogic breath. Ah well, maybe that will help trim down the tofu butt a little.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Big tales

C told me that eating coconut flesh, the fat goes straight to the butt. True? I dunno, but all I do know is when in Krabi, I ate a heck lotta coconuts. The latest poke-butt-test-firmness experiment yielded results that seem to suggest this theory is true. But then, my now squiggly butt has been failing the test in the last couple of weeks, thanks to my dance with gluttony. You know how soft and squiggly tofu is? Yeah, now my arse is exactly like that. C wants me to let it be known, that it's officially true that he has a bigger but FIRMER arse than mine. Ok, so now I'm announcing it in my blog. :P

Not only my arse is getting big these days, but now I have the mother of all ulcers in my mouth at the gums. It just popped out overnight 2 days back and kept doubling in size everyday. Now it's a giant crater with a deep pit, i.e. a hole within a hole. It's so deep I swear it has hit the root of my teeth. Ouch. Any bigger and I have to start sucking food through my nose. Eeeek.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Miami not so nice

Miami vice is a bad movie. Really bad. So bad it gave us a headache. I like Miami Vice the tv series as a kid, Don Johnson was cool. But what's with Colin Farrell and that strange mustachio he's got? Plotless, senseless, pointless movie with more talk and little action. Plus Gong Li on a bad hair day. Aieeee. The headache from the movie still lingers on today. Man, it really made my eyes hurt. C said 'How much do you love me' was pretty bad, but hey, vice beat the crap out of it and took the title for all time high 'bad movie of the year'. At least in "love me" there was Belluci and her buxom to lust after. :P

Oww my aching head, and eyes.

OM painful head.

Saturday, September 23, 2006

Life is still good today

Some of my vacation good luck must still be halo-ing around today. Oh, did I mention today is my HR exam? I didn't do much studying, unless we counted the 1 hr 30mins of reading on the flight back from Krabi, and the 45 mins of reading whilst sun tanning at the poolside at the Tubkaak some days before. Unfazed, I was pretty certain I could smoke it in the exams, which I pretty much did. I think I did fairly well, and I feel pretty smug about it. The one smudge was I brought only 2 pens, the blue ballpoint leaked like crazy, and I managed to ink my way through one essay with it - hopefully the examiner can read through the blots and smudges. The 0.4tip pilot that I used for my 2nd essay, damn, it ran out of ink 3/4 of the way through (and I just bought this pen when I started my MBA back in May!). The smudgey bit was I had blue ink all over my hands from my leaking pen and accidentally wiped it on my nice esprit pants. Yeoow. I walked around the rest of the day with smudged pants. A classmate was aghast to learn I just arrived home from vacation 8pm last night and still looke confident today. HR exam I am not worried, its the next one on Business Econs that is just one of those 'uh ohs' subject. Classes start next weekend sigh.

Ah well, after exam, life continues to be good. I had a good portion of William's Rojak, well satisfied at last, before heading out to another 90mins at the Spa Esprit, and then had my toe nails done up prettily at STRIP in a dirty mud brown. An oxymoron. Ha ha. Stepping out of the salon with my freshly muddied nails, I was started on my journey home when the dessert menu at the Sun Moon across from STRIP caught my eye. Sun Moon desserts are divine, I really like the Sun Moon concept, and hey, 5pm is tea time right? I think I deserved to reward myself, and settled happily for a seat in the cafe and ordered myself a nice little treat - a wafer with sweet potatoe, red beans and ice cream. Plus $1 for a pot of tea. Ultra yummy. And cheap at a grand total of only $8. Must go back soon and sometime soon. Tea break at Sun Moon is really a good time to be there, chill out alone or with friends, because it's actually peaceful and quiet with few customers.

On a side note, a little guilt for not having practices yoga for a whole week. But hey, a vacation can be counted as a zen experience. OM sandy beach krabi.

Krabi so good

Back from a 4 day vacation at the Tubkaak in Krabi. Life was so good there, one of the best escape vacations I've had in a long time. Great views, great food, good company and good prices which did not burn a hole in the pocket. Gimme one more of those anytime.

Service at the Tubkaak was absolutely fantastic, we arrived very early and was checked in immediately instead of having to wait for the usual 3pm check in time which is de riguer of most hotels and resorts. In fact, our check out time was automatically extended as we had a late flight, and staff took the initiative to arrange the hotel/ airport transfers for us a suitable time, all without us asking for it. We were lucky to get an excellent off-peak price package, plus cheap Tiger airways flight, airfare was a cheep cheep $40! But taxes were double. Nonetheless, cheap cheap. The ride on Tiger air was good and smooth despite our reservations about service and flight quality standards for a $40 fare, but everything went so smoothly it just made the experience all the better. The resort was in a remote part of krabi, but with its own private beach with stunning clear blue waters and beautiful island scenary - we took a boat ride out to the islands and for the first time ever, I went snorkelling. Not that difficult as I thought. Sun, sand and lovely sea, I got a nice tan too.

Best part of what I loved at the resort, was the built in sunken outdoors bathtub, yum. I loved the bathroom, I just do. I want one exactly like this one if I ever have my own home in the future.

We rented a car for a day to explore the rest of Krabi, in town, there isn't much, Ao Nang was a little better but much more touristy, in fact in sorta looked exactly like Phuket and it's touristy shopping strip. Krabi and Phuket doesn't look much different, both are about a 3 hrs drive from each other. Having explored town, there was really nothing much about it unless one is interested to visit the various caves and temples. I suppose the what most people do in krabi is either chill out at the beach like we did, or go diving/ snorkelling/ island hopping. Driving around was fun, not much traffic on the roads, and easy to navigate, except, to my great surprise I found out soon enough that BeefGreencurry is a lousy map reader. He really sucks. Really. Who said women can't read maps? C should just stick to driving, and I'll take on the navigating role.

C really wanted to go fishing but we couldn't find a fishing area for tourists at all. But we did find a giant catfish farm. Whoa, these suckers are huge, and damn hungry. With their perpetual wide mouth look, they look like evil sea creatures out of some B-grade horror movie. My best advice - don't even try to stick your hand in the water to feed them, you'll never know how many fingers you might lose.

Good time and great fun, even Slick was chillin.

Monday, September 18, 2006

Ink got no water

BBQ on Sat turned out fine, despite a slight drizzle. Food aplenty, but we were able to finish 90% of them, yeah. I didn't binge as much so yeah! Just a couple of satays (can't resist!) and a healthy portion of Yvette's tacos and the Vietnamese Rice Rolls Viv's sisters made. Whoa, seriously good. Everyone had a great time, even JungleBeefCow who turned up as last minute entertainment for Martin's kids. Ha ha ha.

Managed to finish my 2nd MBA assignment too - I was smugly working on it on Sunday, thinking I would be submitting it ahead of time. Only to realise at 9pm last night that the due date was actually Monday today and not Wed as I though. Drats. That put the pressure on me to finish up the assignment quicker by working through the night. It's an ok paper, bro walked by and exclaimed, "hey aren't you supposed to put in several citations?". Yeah. But since I didnt' invest the time to read up much as I should, there were hardly any citations to be added. Bro snickered with disgust, "I thought it's supposed to be an MBA paper!". Yeah well. Guess we had to make some sacrifices between watching chinese dramas, or reading up for essays. Hmm. Not difficult to decide. :P

Here's the finale - while printing copies of my assignment off bro's printer, I realised his printer was nearly out of ink! The essay was a true experience in grayscale printing, ranging from dark, to light to spotted to dotted. Wah. I wondered if the professors ever received similar essays from students before? Maybe they'll give sympathy marks thinking this student is too poor to afford a print cartridge. Now I'm sitting here at the office wondering if I should print off better looking copies and resubmit tonight. Hmmm.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Calorific High

Calorie count this week - Wed Amaretto Flambe and Profiteroles, Friday lunch Sinful Coco Mousse cake, Friday dinner Warm Chocolate Cake, Lemon Souffle, Grand Marnier Souffle. Sat....BBQ coming right up. I think my calorie counter has broken down after being seriously OD'd. When one puts on a pair of old baggy jeans (as in baggy at the waist and baggy at the hips and so loose such that legs of jeans drags on the floor and will have to be folded up), and said baggy jeans now sit snugly at the waist and no evidence of bagginess at the butt can be found, one knows that one's lumpy arse has now arrived at Super Big Arse status. Even more damning when folds of flabby waist is now SPILLING over outside of the waistlines of jeans and pants. Holy damn big Cow.

Lots of first time places this week though - with Valentino ristorante earlier on Wed, and then the Jushinjung Korean BBQ for lunch yesterday, and then for the first time ever, Morton's of Chicago. At Morton's, those cows are HUGE, like the size of one of my arse cheeks. Well we know how big my arse now is. :P Actually everything at Morton's is in stupendously large portions, right down to the most gigantic souffle I've ever seen, it's the size of my face. Not great in taste though. Well actually my mini lobster tail is just the correct size, but for that tiny portion it doesn't come with a tiny price. The comforting fact is whilst the food binge this week has been damaging to the waist and butt-lines, it has been kind to my wallet as all the meals were courtesy of kind friends and generous bosses. Phew.

BBQ tonight - I'm making a fruit salad and a russian potato salad. Will try to stick back to the seriously derailed OM-diet plan.


Thursday, September 14, 2006

Fat OM

I found the most divine initimately small family styled Italian ristorante. Thanks to a couple of food savvy colleagues from the medical division. Name and location shalt not be revealed, I plan to make a return foray with beeftenderloin(nowinjungle) sometime. Dessert there was fabulous, an amaretto flambe - whoooeee! But wah, once again the calorie counter went on red alert overdrive, I think I was about to combust internally as well. Could feel my already squiggly butt expand even more. Speaking of which, beefinjungle had a good look at the lumpy arse couple of days back and involuntarily let out an "Ohmygawd ItsGrown!" squawk. Drats. No fitting into my bikinis anymore. Grrr.

Stamina at yoga is not as good these days, maybe thanks to too much calories too much sugar and too lumpy ass. Can't even do proper vinyasa jumpthroughs anymore, cuz butt too big to jump through the space between the hands, not to mention land with an un-female like 'thud!' in between. Double grrrrr.

Fat OM.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

The deadly Rojak

Pretty sure there won't be a sign with my name on it at the gates of Heaven, for not only have I committed the sin of gluttony, but today, I've become slothful as I decided not to go for yoga, having finally succumbed to sin after a morning long battle having to choose between going for yoga and catching up on the rerun of Doors. Of course, sinful, weak spirited slothful cow that I am, the chinese drama won. I put up a hard fight, mind you - for I convinced myself I could go to the 1.45pm class anyway and no harm done by watching Doors and missing class at Shambhala. But come 12.30pm, my body fatigued, I decided to take a nap instead. Hey hey, in yoga, teachers always say, listen to your body. So my body says it wants a nap. Blame it on the most wonderful massage and spa treatment I've had in a loooong time yesterday, for my body was like mush and my neck and shoulder muscles loose and free. Wah, the tiny therapist at Essence Vale is truly not to be underestimated. Truth be told I had the greatest sudden urge to eat Rojak, and my already battered will and body caved in to gluttony once again as I decided once and for all to skip yoga, and make my way down to far east plaza for a plate of William's Rojak which has been haunting me all morning. As my arse bad luck would have it, the stall was CLOSED today. ARRRRGHGHGHGHG.. GRRRRR!!!!! Depressed, I made my way to Bean with a latte whilst I contemplated my next move.

Post-latte I decided to make my way home, but somehow found myself wandering towards Isetan for some window shopping - after all, I came all the way to Orchard and deliberately missed yoga, I can't go home immediately can I? Unfortately that was the biggest rojak tragedy of the day - what started as a plain beige mango top for $30 cumulated to a whopping $400 contribution to my already tightly spaced wardrobe. Yes, SIGH. As one who knows me by now, it started innocently enough with only one article of clothing. And then, oh! isn't this pair of pants cute! Ah this would look great with the pants! Hey this top is funky! blah blah blah etc etc etc, and suddenly I feel a renewed burst of energy (which I was unable to muster up this morning to go for yoga) and of course, much happier and $400 poorer. Aiieeeeeeee.

Moral of the story - Rojak is dangerous. What was supposed to be a $5 lunch turned out to be deadlier than that. But I still didn't get my rojak. :(

OM not.

Saturday, September 09, 2006

Too much of a good thing

... can't always be good. Depends on what it is. Money - well, the more the merrier. One can never have too much moolahs, unless you happen to be Bill Gates or Lee Ka Shing. Health, yes, a more healthy life is always good, except I believe that one should have sufficient moolahs to ensure one lives a reasonably comfortable life. Quality, I say, not quantity. Good food.....ahhh....well here's the topic of the day. Good food is great - a temporary euphoria, especially if one is a true blue Singaporean; but maybe not so good if one is supposed to be a semi-vegetarian yogi wannabe (or pretendtobe), who is supposed to look beyond wordly ways, to be one with the cow-self and true to the journey of zen. Err, whatever that means. Cows are vegetarians right? So they don't eat their own kind right? Well for tonight (and much of this week) I have broken many cow-laws and committed myself to gluttony. Yes, lumpy bits are being fed and will continue to grow.

My ex-colleagues and I met for dinner at Aburiya. Indeed they are true to their reputation of great service and even better food. Japanese BBQ; and since meat cannot be avoided, much meat was consumed by my traitorous cowself tonight - lamb, duck, cow; seasoned in various sauces and sizzled on the grill. Burp.

Walking around aftere dinner we stumbled upon The Chocolate Factory - a truly gem of a find. The guy who owns the place actually has the professional title of CHOCOLATIER, he's the real deal chocolate maker from France, pro-trained and looks like all french chefs who are serious about their profession. This place beats Max Brenner hands down with their thick dark hot chocolate (too much, too rich, too generous) that came in a giant cup complemented by the most sinful melt in your mouth dark choc cookie, a marshmallow and a praline. We helped ourselves to 2 souffles. Absolutely divine. And all this while our calories contribution kept climbing and climbing, I could feel my internal calorie counter flash red alert (!!) and overheat to overdrive. In chinese terms 'walk fire enter demons', an overkill but a wondefully sugar-high one. But so damn good.

'Tis the season for jolly eating, and I doubt my expanding lumpy arse and flabby love handles will get a break to shrink down to their previously smaller size anytime in the next 6 months. Met my ex-classmate for dinner on Wed, will meet friends for dinner on Sat, and then more dept lunches next week, a bbq, and then more dept lunches, plus a bridal shower. Then mooncake festival, a wedding, and then start of the holiday season for mad year end eating through CNY. Nope, no chance to shrink lumpy bits, and even harder to stay on course of being semi-vegetarian. OM not.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Lumpy - not such a cool deal.

Lumpy. When one's pants starts to feel tight around the waist, and the tummy sticks out and one's arse noticeably fills out the butt of the pants without any 'spare cloth', one knows that one has put on the dreaded weight in the dreaded areas. Yeah, right now I'm pretty lumpy. Drats, that's what happens when slack begins to build in one's diet - so you think a pie here and a cake there and maybe a couple of sugary drinks won't hurt cuz of all that yoga? Well wrong. One's lumpy arse is even more obvious when one puts on her yoga pants. Wahlaueh, even orang utans has better looking posteriors. Sigh. Time to put discipline back into the diet; but but but........ the pantry is stocked with my fav jam cookies!! Those reminicent of my childhood days, when kong guan biscuits and marie biscuits are a daily staple, plus afternoon ration of milo. Is it my fault I love to dip my hand in the cookie jar? Ok ok so maybe 15 jam cookies daily aint' such a good idea.... but but but..... they ARE jam cookies. :P

At least I'm not the only lumpy one around. The dubious honour is also shared by our friend the Biscotti. Looking at his profile from top down, our friend has clearly lost his err...streamlined look. He more resembles a lumpy potato these days (same colour too). Dog uncles and neighbourhood regulars have commented how 'prosperous' the Bis has been looking. Man, the fella can't even really run these days, all that excess weight must be too cumbersome to heave around. Hmm, actually, the lumpy roll of honour also has Beef bulgogi somewhere on the list - his belly has grown, looking more 7 mths preggers now. Fwahahahhahahaha. Honey are you reading this? Give a pat to your tum will ya? ;)

Speaking of food, I chanced upon another good food blog today. Singapore is really an eater's haven, there are lots of foodies on the island and lots of really good food blogs. It really reminds me of my younger adventurous epicurean days. But these days are over for me, yoga (and lumpy arse) does make a difference. But still, it's really quite lovely to read, and bask upon the delicious glory these bloggers must have felt.

Had a whole plate of meatballs spaghetti today. Gosh this is a total diet blow-out. Burp.

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Addiction, it's so good.

I am most displeased, I really am. Having to go to school till 10pm these days means.....I MISS MY CABLE TV CHINESE DRAMA!!! Arrgh. With the project discussions going on, we work through 10.40pm and sometimes 11pm, so when I get home I only catch the last 20mins of "Last Breakthrough". Totally miffed I don't get to watch "Revolving Doors" whole of this week, argh. I had to wake up at 6.15am these past days so I can catch the Breakthrough rerun, but Doors' rerun is at the ungodly 1.20am (no way I can do that) or 4am (even worse) so really miffed about missing Doors. Double Argh.

If they only had a module in my mba about Chinese Drama serials, I'm sure to ace the exams and assignments, no doubt. Hmm, ok maybe I could write a thesis about "Chinese dramas - more addictive than Subutex?". Wonder if anyone thought about setting up a counselling centre for addicted drama enthusiasts? Would there be a lot of patients? If they sold dark circle eye creams at the counselling centre I bet that would be a hit. But most important, at the waiting area of the centre, must have GIGANTIC plasma tv screen airing the most recent highly-rated HK or China drama series. Fwahahahahah.

After 3 or 4 days of peace, Codie once again suffered torturous ambush. Came back on Tues to find Codie lying on his side on top of my bro's table. How the blazes did he get there?? I surmised the cleaning lady must have come today, and the perps must have ambushed Codie from my room, and tortured him. Codie probably put up a fight, and crawled his way to my bro's room for safety. I wonder if he's going to bring on a lawsuit anytime soon. Can you sue a couple of IGs, a beanie, a mogu and a turtle for conspiracy and battery and assault? hmm.

Monday, August 28, 2006

Hangman Phenomenon

Research? Easy. Just Google right? So with all the topics we're studying at school there's always a long recommended reading list of scholarly, bombastic articles. It would be easier of course, in our spoon-fed culture if all the fake Tod's will just give us printed copies of all the required readings, but nooooooo....we have to do our own search and print, but what's the merit of 100 students accessing online library systems at the same time, for the same articles when it's much more efficient for one person to access and then print 100 copies? :P Yah lah yah lah, some people will probably argue that us singaporeans are too used to being spoon-fed, but working and studying at the same time, and where time availability is limited, well, spoon feeding makes more sense, IMO.

Actually I wouldn't be ranting so much, had I not actually end up spending a full workday today just doing research on the upcoming project presentation. Googling is easy right? Except that one needs to know exactly what to google and search for, in order to get the 'right' information. If I had to count the minutes I actually spent doing my work today, well, I'd say I only did 30 mins of office work, and spent the rest of the 7.5hrs surfing the web for school work. Not every efficient. Wait until I get to the part in the later afternoon when I tried to get access to the recommended reading articles that are in the reading list - guess what, that's like looking for a needle in a haystack. Remember the days of RPG games whereby one's RPG character had to venture into the abyss or dungeons and each of these had like, 13 levels of dungeons to navigate and mind boggling mazes and countless ambushes and traps? yeah, searching for a scholarly article is just like that. So you think you have the title, and the author and life is easy thereafter? Forget it. First we had to gain access to the Uni's online portal (enter username and password), and then gain access to e-libraries (another username and password), and then ping! restricted by firewall. Try to get around the problem by alternate gateways? Enter more usernames and passwords, and then finally.....granted access to the golden door. Except one has to trawl through the haystack to look for that ONE article. Took me all of 1hr and mother of all murphy's law, the programme hung. Reload? Try again? After 3 'hangs', I think I'm ready to hang someone instead.

Highlight of the day? Fake Tod's asked us to solve an anagram in class - which I did, with some secret help from by using Atom to google it (of course, no one needs to know that). Claptrap, but I got some applause. Things we do for cheap thrills. Ha ha.

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Back To School III

Back to school again. Same old Ya Kun, same old eggs and kaya set. Haven't gotten sick of it yet. Different fake tod's of course - it just gets more and more interesting each time. This time a Brit (my initial impression I thought he was a student given his back view) who speaks with the speed of a runaway train, his England is no less power than the Italiano professor from the previous module but wah, he hardly looks a few years older than me, but already has been teaching for at least 6 years, plus his official title is "Dr." which means he's got a phD. And obviously, he knows his stuff and he knows exactly what he's talking about. So you think I'm techno-illiterate? Wait until you meet this guy, he's even more techno-ignoramus than i am. He presented the entire lecture on the "OHP" (can't rem what the actual name of this video thingy is, YP will probably knock my head again for calling it OHP), and in a word document, because he has never ever used powerpoint in his entire life, and blithely told us he has no intentions of doing so unless forced to. Topic is HRM. Yawn. But funny part was, fake tod's recites all the theories to us, and then tells us it's all a load of crap and hogwash. Then, he tells us how in exams, we should answer our essays to the point of, "why HRM is rubbish...". HA HA HA.

My Ping Zong dvd arrived, finally. But yeah, true to my impulse-purchase self that demands possession but does not eschew utilization after possession is complete, the dvd remains shrinkwrapped and unopened on my desk as I type this blog. I've already mentioned the Ping Zong novel is still on my desk, still unread at this point. To think of all the trouble and effort I went to procure both. Crabtree candles have also arrived, but now remains untouched and unopened at the corner of my room. I realise, I'm just addicted to the thrill of the chase, and once in hand......ah well, that's like the mentality some playboys have, in chasing women isn't it?

New object of desire!!! Whilst switching between channels when watching Ping Zong on cable today, I chanced upon Channel U when it was airing "Feng Chen San Xia - Hong Fu Nu"! ARRRGHHHH. I havent' paid attention to ChU for ages and I have spied this drama whilst shopping for vcd rentals at the store and have put in on my to-watch list for eventuality. But I didn't realise ChU was airing it! In fact, upon checking mediacorps drama list I realised I missed Chinese Paladin as well!! ARRRRRGHGHGHGHGGHHGHG. I was mesmerized by Hong Fu Nu, and sat my arse down for 2 hrs (instead of doing research for my HRM project!), damn, but it's already the 2nd last week and next week is the final episode. No prizes for guessing, I'm going to have to pick up the vcd from the store.

Addiction. Has a new vicitim.