Poop on Demand

Not my dogs, but really about my adventures at the annual medical health check today. Executive health screening must be really big business, because a whole clinic of it is devoted to purely that. The clinic was even nicely done up, very posh-like, really suited for the office class. However the whole business of it is very...mechanical. One gets shoved 2 plastic bottles and was informed rather unfeelingly to provide samples of business #1 and #2 into there. Ok so pee on demand is not too difficult as long as there's plenty water on hand, but err, poop on demand? I dunno, but it's damn stressful to be sitting there in the very nice and spacious loo (of which there is only ONE) and a bunch of women queuing outside waiting for their turn on the toilet seat. If it's any consolation the same problem seems to be apparent at the gents cubicle too. Judging by the basket in the loo which has a decent count of number #2-filled containers and sadly bereft of #1 populated containers......everyone seems to be suffering the same fate.

That aside, I've a number of other observations:
1. Doctor is crappy. Old geezer who really looks like he should be the janitor, and I wondered how he passed med school.
Doc: ..[eager to tick medical form] You got any health problem?
Me: ...cough for 3 weeks, haven't gone away.
Doc: you should see your own doctor [carries on ticking the medical form]
HUH!! crap, all this guy wants is to make everything on the form joyful and happy. I've never seen anyone in such a hurry to complete a form without even asking the right questions. As for the physical exam, for goodness sakes if I want someone to be pressing at my boobs, I much rather a young good looking (or a more professional) doctor. Old geezer does it like he's wiping tables. Double crap.

2. Blood pressure is taken by an automated machine. Just insert arm, nurse press button and voila. Same for weight and height machines. Ok so medical devices are big business, companies are just making expensive machines to do the simplest jobs. All we will be come is just a button-pressing workforce in future. (That said, is there a Poop on Demand button???).

Health checks have always been a strange experience for me. I guess no one finds it pleasant, but at least crappy doctor aside, they do have a very nice beverage bar (with espresso machine and pellets) and personally serve each 'patient' with danish, sandwiches and fruit.

Just get rid of crappy doctor please.