Sunday, April 29, 2007



1. Stumpy looking shorty balding old men who look like janitors are actually doctors in disguise at Mt E clinics.

2. When handed 2 plastic containers + 1 inconspicuous white plastic bag, and pointed to the restroom. It's the universally understood command for producing "samples" on demand. Errr.....

3. Learning yoga helped 'grow' me 0.7cm taller as I learnt to straighten my spine when they measure my height.

4. Learning yoga does not mean one does not put on weight. One has reached the remarkable line on the scale numbering 49.9kg.

5. Yoga does not reduce body fat.

6. Yoga also does not prevent waistline from reaching a remarkable 74cm. Momentarily stupefied was the expression when first informed.

7. Guess learning yoga does not stop one from pigging out like a errr...pig, cow, sheep.

8. Upmarket boutique at Paragon having closing down sale. 90% discounts. Designer clothing at rock bottom prices. Cheap cheap cheap. Except my bottom ain't exactly hard like a rock. It's more like 'flabby-gasted' as I huffed and puffed and blithely had to admit size 29 pants is a tight fit. You knows those filipino aunties in tight fitting tops and crop shorts you see flitting around Lucky Plaza with their fleshy parts sticking out? Yes green Roccobarroco pants are pretty, but when one's pale quivering (frosty like chicken) flabby-gasted thighs and arse fill the hot pants to the brim and arse spilleth over..... Time to reconsider. (moments pause). Well for a $30 price tag, not much to consider. Pants now safely in cupboard.

Cows in midlife crisis.

Yes as I looked around in yoga class today, and see people I havent seen in awhile, looking fitter and leaner and stronger before, I feel like a real auntie now.

Cow in hot pants arse-spilleth over moo.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Strange encounters

Strange encounter #1: Walked dogs in the morning and met 'jogging uncle' who exclaimed, "wah! miss, haven't seen you in a few days, you face puffier and rounder leh!". My reply, "err, uncle. Maybe it's the hair lor, permed leow more pong pong, make face look rounder". Although I really fervently hoped my perm of an excuse was true. But yes, face is rounder indeed. Hardly can see my pointy chin nowadays.

Strange encounter #2: Con had a Beemer 7 series on loan for the weekend, thanks to his moron of a brother who somehow had a cool job as an editor of a gadget magazine. Anyway, driving this monster is scary. It's smooth, silent, and heavy, but as I slowly meandered my way around traffic on saturday morning. I cross all fingers, toes and limbs that I wouldn't put scratch, dent or injury to this car. Beemer is actually pretty cool, beautiful inside, with seats of supreme comfort, hi tech gadgets that has a button for everything, secret compartments and fancy smancy stuff. My childhood ambition was that the first car I owned would be a Beemer, I haven't achieved it yet, but driving one sure is scary. And expensive. Well, if I had $300K to spare, then I guess $4k in road tax and $25 per 100km in petrol is peanut shit. Maybe I'll stick to energy friendly solar powered hybrid cars instead. But we had a fun date with Beemer, parked at mt faber and reclining in the back seats munching on chips and soda, watching dvd on the in-car entertainment system. Best part of the evening was how cars next to us kept moving in and out of their parking lots, as couples came and went. Obviously that carpark is a happening spot for necking couples. It would have been so much fun had C let me walk over to them, knock on their windows and yell, "Make sure you use a goddamn condom!". Fwahahahhaha.

Actually, maybe it's a good idea to setup a small pushcart at that parking lot hawking drinks and condoms. I mean, surely sometimes emergency supplies are needed, right? Fwahahhaha. Muahahhaha.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Price of Innovation

Creativity, innovation doesn't come cheap. Take this for example:

Cost of haircut + perm = $270.
Cost of hair colouring + treatment = $250
Cost of new clothes to match new hairdo = twice total expenditure on hair
Cost of business books on strategy etc etc = $120 (even after borders coupon)

No, innovation is not cheap. Could have gotten a pair of new tods shoes. But then, I have so many shoes the cupboard is overflowing. Bis and Holly has taken to chewing the rubber off those that are left outside the cupboard. Aiieeee.

Do all the above give me a competitive advantage, or make me win like a leader? Don't think so. Think I'll just sigh deeply when I get my credit card bills later. Gulp.

Today, I have a big tina turner hairdo. It's volumnous, hairsprayed to the death. Sure it elicited many stares on orchard road. Con says it looks as if I got a hedgehog on my head. Actually I kinda look like Medusa now. Con and slick agrees. It's just strange feeling not to be able to comb my hair. Feels wierd.

Cows turned sheep Moo.

Friday, April 13, 2007


Nothing in life is certain except death and taxes. Well, maybe also include the fact that Holly is a bimbotic pea-brained short sighted IG, Bis is a ball-less wuss, and con has a carnivorous pet fish.

So I dutifully filed my taxes. Click click click done. Govt made it easy of course, didn't have to do anything except click click click away.

Maggie-mee hairdo is looking a little limp, thanks to my talentless ability to simulate the big-do blown up doll look last week. Now looking a bit like a rained in, wet, limpid auntie shaggy look. Aiyah. Did I mention I got a bald spot at the top center of the head? Wah its looking more and more obvious. I'm holey in the head. Alamak.

Friday, April 06, 2007


Breakups are hard to do. Yesterday, I ended my 8 year relationship with my beloved atm card. For the life of me I just could not remember my atm pin. The brain cell that contained that info was gone. Poooffed! Gone with the wind. This was my 3rd atm pin ever. I remembered my first and second pins well. And now, I broke up with pin #3, to go back to a relationship with my ex. It's been 8 yrs, guess all good things come to an end. Morale of story, money wins all. No money, no honey. But got cow, can lah.

The other breakup was with my limpid, frizzy, tired looking unmanageable hair. Now this breakup wasn't hard to do, I wanted to dump the style long ago, except for lack of time thanks to long working hours. Now, now I got a new-do. A new maggie-mee do. No kidding. Serious maggie mee stuff. Maybe next time I got guts, I'll go for Afro. ha ha ha.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Grey anatomy

Really am getting old. Senile.

As I stood there at the AXS machine trying to pay my credit card bill. Except when I inserted by ATM card I suddenly blankly stared at the keypad, and I could not remember my atm pin. Tried twice. No luck. Stood there like a moron for 5 mins whilst the guy behind me wondered what the heck I was spacing out at the machine with a blank look on my face without a freakin clue what my atm pin is. Not that its a new card, I've had this card for 8 years, I've had this pin for 8 years, I just drew cash 2 days ago from the ATM. Now I can't remember my pin anymore. But maybe it's cuz I've had a long day and it's nearly midnight. Consoling myself as I walked home I was sure after a good night's sleep would refresh my memory in the morning.

First thing when I woke up this morning, I realised I still could not remember my atm pin,

Just this evening, I tried to access cash withdrawal, thinking I had a good idea what my pin was. 2 strikes and no success.

So here I am, $7.20 left in my wallet, an atm card with no pin (btw, what good is internet banking when one realises, internet banking cannot dispense cash to me???!). So guess I gotta go to the bank and queue up for a cash handout. sigh. Haven't queued up in the bank for eons, last time it was probably 3 yrs ago to exchange some new notes for CNY red packet.

Better start eating more ginko supps soon.

Senile Moo.

Sunday, April 01, 2007


According to Porter's definition, Strategy is what Not to do. Strategy is to do something different from what others are doing. So if I apply that to daily life, I guess Holly's strategy is Not to act smart. She acts dumb and bimbotic, which is exactly the opposite of Bis. So when it comes to messing up the sofa, the shoes, and peeing all over places except the pee tray, her strategy is to stay silent, act stupid and no admit to anything. Well, guess maybe in that aspect, Holly is not as dumb as we think. Maybe she's just acting dumb. Of course, she gets away with most things, even murdering and dissecting poor innocent toys and relieving them of their 'innards'.

Strategy then, is probably to get someone else to do my work for me, and then putting my name on it and claiming the credit. Wahahha. Now, if I can only get this to work at the office......

Strategising OM moo.