The model of the smoking Cow

What happens when a cow tries to smoke? It will become one rather charred slab of beef. Inasmuch as I'd like to, this econs exam there is an unwritten 'no smoking' policy. Because one just cannot smoke economics, i.e. cannot cowdung i.e. cannot bullshit one's way through the exam answers. What happens if one tries? One becomes charred beef.

Consider this - if the exam question were to ask "What happens if a cow tries to smoke? Evaluate." One would immediately jump to the conclusion: "You get smoked beef." Short, simple, succint. Straightforward. Right? Nooooooooo. Unfortunately the german fake Tod's would probably want us to write something like this: cow = female bovine. Smoke = i.the process of inhaling a ciggy; ii. the method of cooking food over the fumes of a flame; iii. the by-product of a fire. In our model we assume the defintion ii. Assumption - a. parts of a healthy female cow (already butchered) are procured through barter at the tekka market; b. a grill is available at one's premise; c. Slick, Bis and Holly are in standby to attack said bovine meat and feast with gusto upon issue of the command "GO!". Methodology - turn on grill, heat to high, put meat on grill for 5 mins. Repeat process at medium heat, and low heat. Findings - cow smoked at high heat = charred smokey overcooked beef. At medium heat the flavour is more palatable, but seasoning is needed. At low, it's smokey on the outside, and raw on the inside. C would probably enjoy version "low". Conclusion - when a cow tries to smoke, one gets Smoked Beef. duh. BUT...... the degree of smokiness will DEPEND on the conditions of cooking and the quality of bovine bartered at the marketplace (bearing in mind Slick would have likely executed a covert beef swap using his Panama-nian middle man who would help him hawk off the good beef at a stall in Jln Cowsung in Penang). So in the end, we are all screwed.

Man, we are really all screwed when it comes to Econs exams. Cows are not logical creatures. They just sit there, chew grass and contribute to global warming but outputting methane gas at the rate of 4x per hour. Few of us would analyze how many litres of milk our udders provide daily, and how much of that output is used to make milk, and cheese, and yoghurt. And the ratio of each that is consumed domestically and the ratio of export. Thus the resulting contributing factor to GDP.

No, cows brain dead. When it comes to econs anyway. :P