Monday, August 07, 2006

Everybody was Kungfu Fighting...

So we went to watch Dragon Tiger Gate today - a plotless, pointless movie but hey, where there's Donnie Yen, there's always good action. The guy can fight, and wah, at age 40+ he's still in good form, like Jet Li (who's put on some weight), Jackie Chan (ultimate kung fu hero) and Samo Hung (who said fat guys don't win?). This guy can do somersaults and flying leaps like a 20 year old. Heck, even I at 20 years old can't even do a split, much less a somersault. Nowadays even trying to do dropbacks to a backbend in yoga class is also scary cuz we all afraid of hearing an omnimous crack in our backs.

Anyway, pointless, plotless movie but as long as there is excuse for action, these guys start pulling the punches and the flying kicks. Nice. Of course, in a typical chinese fighting movie the standard plot de riguer is - 1) hero always have a traumatised childhood; 2) someone the hero worships always dies; 3) hero will thus seek revenge; 4) but hero first gets critically injured; 5) then hero gets rescued by some supreme high master who lives in mountains as a recluse (master always comes out to save the deserving); 6) mountain master will impart secret skill of the highest level to hero, who takes little time to master it; 7) hero kills bad guy with newfound kungfu skills; 8) hero and damsel in distress (or token female) carry on with their merry lives. Yeah that about sums it up. In fact, that reminds me of the mention of legendary historical heroes by Fitroy Raglan, which was recently cited in my recent organization theory readings as (and one of the few things that piqued my interest other than being frustrated by stochastic dichotomy whatever). According to Raglan, the hero is:

(1)Born of a royal virgin.
(2)His father a King and
(3)Often a near relative of mother, but
(4)The circumsatnces of his conception are unusual and
(5)He is reputed to be the son of a god.
(6)An attempt is made to kill him at birth(often by father or father-figure) but
(7)He is spirited away and
(8)Raised by foster parents in a far country.
(9)We are told nothing of his childhood.
(10)On reaching manhood he journeys to his future kingdom.
(11)Faces trials and tests.
(12)Marries a princess and
(13)Becomes king.
(14)Rules uneventfully
(15)Prescribes laws
(16)Loses favor with the Gods or his subjects and
(17)Is driven away where
(18)He meets with a mysterious death
(19)Often at the top of a hill.
(20)His children, if any, do not succeed him.
(21)His body is not buried, however
(22)He has one or more holy resting places.

Yep, typical hero. But I think it's too much effort being a hero. I'd much prefer to use my superior kung fu skills to propel my dogs to the grass field downstairs and up, and propel their food from the fridge to their dog bowls whilst I lounge comfortably on the sofa watching my wuxia chinese dramas.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

ALamak!! thats the TRADITIONAL definition of a hero...The hero in singapore's context:

1.KId born to poor family
2.Kid's dad has to raise him alone as mom is either (dead, ran away, divorced etc).
3.Dad is a janitor, addict, gambler etc.
4.Kid mixes around with friends...(one fat, one smart, one rich or one poor, of course, as far as possible in muli racial singapore.. each with a diff. race).
5.All 4 get bullied by (teacher who thinks they are dumb/ school bully abusive father).
6. Some fluke of luck, kids finds some untapped skill he has.. or discovers a product.
7. Utiising new found skill in some sort of competition, kid becomes fameous, doesn't forget his old school friends and all make thir way in life.. ala jack neo..

Or as Jackman's style :

1. Really small, kind creatures with no desire or goal in life but to eat 'tators' and drink..
2.gets told by a powerful magician to do a task..
3. meets all manner of more powerful beings...
4. The above all decide to 'follow' or protect the hobbits..
5. All manner of evil are after them..
6. A humongous war occurs.. thousands die, but the small beings manage to live somehow
7. They defeat the once thought ultimat evil and save the day (with help from other creatures along the way).. they never become king but go back to their normal lilves..

or wennie style!..

1. Little girl ..
2. Looks sweet..
3. Actually really evil..
4. Tricks kind gentle giant (think shrek).
5. Ends up BONG-oww ing him!
6. She lives happily ever after frequently tormenting the kind giant whenever she wants to... with an evil BWAK ahh AHH..
7. BUT she has an evil side kick who follows her around and she is also bound to take care of two always hungry poo making and peeing creatures! so life is FAIR!!!

DownwardDog said...

hello, that's JACKSON lah, not Jackman. Can't even get your rabbits, err, I mean, hobbits right.

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