Wednesday, May 20, 2009

London Times Obituary of the Late Mr. Common Sense

Taken from several sources on the internet......

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; accidents may happen; If it ain't broken, don't fix it; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home but the burglar could sue you for assault.Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little on her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion, his daughters, Responsibility and Integrity and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights; I Want It Now; Someone Else Is To Blame and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

1 comment:

Lysithea said...

Good one, this ... i'll pass it on.

few comments. the part abt mouthwash could be cos of abuse. apparently mouthwash contains a very high percentage of alcohol (higher than most alcholic brevages, and one can get high by guggling or drinking mouthwash (not sure if they need to drink it to get the high).

As for parental consent for aspirin or sun lotion, it has to do with allegies. dun wanna give the kid aspirin and have him suffer a fatal allegic reaction. tt's why nowadays schools also never give out paracetamol. imagine to my horror when i need emergency paracetamol and i can't even get it from my office. duh.

and the abortion part is because of pts privacy. very silly actually. but according to sg's law, if below 18 have to make police report cos it's stat rape.