To be or not to be

Starting yoga again tonite felt a little strange, like my body wasn't quite sure what to do. Think it felt a little lost. And boy, was it stiff, hammies were tight, back was tight, neck was tight, shoulders etc etc. Going into a room packed with some 40 eager and mostly strong yogi types, the atmosphere was certainly highly charged. All these bodies stretching out, some with unbelievable and enviable flexibility and ease before class started. I just sat there and stoned out. Next to me were a few ladies, obviously in their 40s but wearing skimpy aerobics bra tops and their yoga stretch pants leaving a bare but toned midriff that looked 200% better than my overflowing over the elastic band waist. Wah, when I'm in my 40s, I want a body like theirs. These aunties are damn lithe, they must have been dancers in their youth. Even in pigeon pose, where it is always usually so easy for me, my body and muscles were so tight and wound up I could not sit properly into the pose. I must have aged lots in the past 3 weeks.

Often during class I found myself trying to keep my breath smooth and steady, breathing through the heart, with the heart. None of that huffing, puffing I could hear around me. When Stephen said jump into a pose, I chose walk or ease gently into it instead. My yoga has changed, I'm no longer keen in power classes. Wonder how long I'm going to be in this phase before I move back into before, or maybe, I won't. Maybe I'll just go forward being like this, preferring the slow, hatha and heart yoga. More zen, less power.

OM stiff cow.