Sunday, April 29, 2007

Revelations

Revelations.

1. Stumpy looking shorty balding old men who look like janitors are actually doctors in disguise at Mt E clinics.

2. When handed 2 plastic containers + 1 inconspicuous white plastic bag, and pointed to the restroom. It's the universally understood command for producing "samples" on demand. Errr.....

3. Learning yoga helped 'grow' me 0.7cm taller as I learnt to straighten my spine when they measure my height.

4. Learning yoga does not mean one does not put on weight. One has reached the remarkable line on the scale numbering 49.9kg.

5. Yoga does not reduce body fat.

6. Yoga also does not prevent waistline from reaching a remarkable 74cm. Momentarily stupefied was the expression when first informed.

7. Guess learning yoga does not stop one from pigging out like a errr...pig, cow, sheep.

8. Upmarket boutique at Paragon having closing down sale. 90% discounts. Designer clothing at rock bottom prices. Cheap cheap cheap. Except my bottom ain't exactly hard like a rock. It's more like 'flabby-gasted' as I huffed and puffed and blithely had to admit size 29 pants is a tight fit. You knows those filipino aunties in tight fitting tops and crop shorts you see flitting around Lucky Plaza with their fleshy parts sticking out? Yes green Roccobarroco pants are pretty, but when one's pale quivering (frosty like chicken) flabby-gasted thighs and arse fill the hot pants to the brim and arse spilleth over..... Time to reconsider. (moments pause). Well for a $30 price tag, not much to consider. Pants now safely in cupboard.

Cows in midlife crisis.

Yes as I looked around in yoga class today, and see people I havent seen in awhile, looking fitter and leaner and stronger before, I feel like a real auntie now.

Cow in hot pants arse-spilleth over moo.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

My goodness! You are seriously 49.9kg!!! Waaah. What have you been doing to yourself? What have C been rubbing off on you? It's all his fault ya?

BTW, what were you doing in hospital?

And when are you going to celebrate my birthday with me?!?!

2.

Anonymous said...

WHATTT!!!!! How come whenever someone mentions gaining weight the finger points at ME!!!.. hey, not fair!!.. who do I blame?... (coke duh).. oh ya..

ANyway.. whats this with 49.9kgs?.. you wanna be 100grams under 50kgs!!... hat about the difference your make-up makes! hee hee!! 100gms of war paint!... ADMIT IT!! you are 50kgs!!!...(and i am more than double that!!..thats the sad part!

Er.. can i ask you.what the plastic bags and the containers were for? er.. WHAT sort of samples...do they involve 'floaters'???? what happens if they are squishy???...its times like these that i think doctors earn their money the hard way!!

er.. woople hair do...shopping with fillippinos (how DO you spell this)?.. GREEN pants...you sound like an......AUNTY!!!!

OH MY GOD!!. you also are..30!!! hee hee!!

Fat cows.. fatty milk... BTW, you win't fat until you start buying underwear that are..FREE SIZE! and then you gotta figure out if you wanna wear them low waist or HIGH waist! hee hee!!!

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