Macho macho man....

The way I see it, the role of a bf is to (1) carry shopping bags, (2) chauffeur gf around, (3) shelter gf from rain. Not necessarily in that order of course. To be fair, C does #2 very well, and can occasionally be relied on for #1 support. As we stopped by for coffee today,:

Me: (waves umbrella at C). Take the umbrella
C: I don't need it..
Me: Not for you, but to shelter me
C: ok then you take it and shelter yourself
Me: (half in jest) But you're the bf...you're supposed to do the bf-ly thing and come over and shelter me
C: (sigh) ok ok..

then after coffee:

C: ....it's not macho for guys to use umbrellas..
Me: but macho men need to take care of their cute, helpless gfs
C: (snorts). ya, only if their gfs are dressed in bikinis when hanging out with us...
Me: ok, until you find one girl willing to do that, you're stuck with me. So shelter me ....

Admittedly, I'm perfectly capable of carrying my own umbrella and often do. Sometimes I just throw a princessy-tantrum to annoy C. Dunno why. Umm, can I blame the over indulgence in K-drama??

Soju extreme

Currently watching K-drama Cruel Love (aka Bad love) now. Korean drama can really be the epitome of creativeness. The plot is so dramatic, so incredible, it can only be K-drama. The suay is damn suay, the jialat is so damn jialat, and of course all the love and relationships are so intense and dramatic one would think this culture is so extreme in expressing their affections (other than the Italians and Frenchies). Actually taiwan dramatic drama is even more drama and draggy, but at least the soju versions can keep the plot concise within 20 episodes or less. But honestly, the best bits of K-drama is often times the very good looking male leads and prettily surgically enhanced female co-stars. No one has better looking taut skin than Korean women in these soju dramas. Move over SKII, Korean cosmetics here I come.

Devil shopper

A female shopaholic is like a demon possessed. Or is it obsessed? How many pairs of shoes does a woman need? Apparently, shoes always not enough. There are never enough pairs of shoes (or enough clothes no matter how frequently I buy these days). Just couple of days back I spent 1.5 hrs dressing myself because "there's nothing to wear", I bemoaned. I have a thomas sabo charm hanging off my handphone which screams SHOPPING VICTIM. Actually they might as well make it SHOPPING DEMON. Today, oh today, I am the very proud (and very broke) owner of one Shanghai Tang bangle, another pair of (Marc Jacobs) shoes, and ....how many trench dresses does a girl need? Dunno, but at least 3 I guess. And a few more new articles of clothing. The $$$ damage? Don't even want to count. It's more fingers and toes than I (and my dogs) have.

And the most ironic thing - I STILL prefer to hang out on weekends, and often do, in my yoga attire, or shorts and t-shirt. Very unglam, very auntie, very singaporean with no style.

In Lust and Wax

Distributing flyers on Orchard road to promote and advertise business is really an ineffective way of advertising. I mean, how many of us actually read those flyers? More of us just crunch it into a ball and throw it into the next dustbin (guess people rather throw it on the floor if not for a public fine imposed on littering. FINE society that we are). But helloooooooooo.........when there is a couple of very very cute guys in sexy white singlets and jeans, showing off what is a very very fine body (oh so tapered waist and nicely toned biceps) like those you often see in swimmers, any female worth her boobs (or guys who walk on 'the other side') will sit up, stop and look twice. No, not only twice. Three times. Maybe four or five. Hello boys. You want to give me a flyer? Sure. Why not scribble your phone numbers on it too huh? Drool. Especially cute when these young men look so embarressed distributing flyers that one of them keep semi bowing in gratefulness to every female who took one from him. Unfortunately there was a sea of women between me and the first couple of boys I didn't get a chance to collect a flyer. Oh but nevermind, another pair spotted outside Takashimaya. No luck with those 2 either, and finally, finally outside of Paragon, one very sexy singlet-body presented me with one. And all this excitement to promote........... a BRAZILIAN WAX salon. I was all of stunned for 1 second, maybe a little affronted. Huh. I mean, not quite sure if its brilliant idea to use sexy guys to promote a waxing salon, but it sure as hell is wierd having a sexy male suggesting to a female that you need a wax in areas where the sun don't shine...much.

Aww heck, the guys are so cute, I don't think I mind them giving me sexy suggestions anytime. Just as I was gushing to C in enthusiasm about my latest 'cute' find and waving the wax flyer madly at him. Brilliant C that he is, aptly pointed out the little print on the flyer that says, "Voted best brazilian Wax salon...". Eh, how did the judges make this decision? Do they need more people on the judging panel?, C raised his hand to volunteer, with a twinkle in his eye and a lusty smile that would rival any old man about to get his young bimbo candy. Oh ho ho, what a fine pair we make.

Passport Surprise

I found someone's passport recently, and good citizen that I am, I promptly made my way to the police station the next morning to make a report, thinking some poor chap must be stranded in Singapore without it. Mind you, I had to detour to the police station en route to work, but as a fine upstanding citizen, hey, nevermind, I'll do it. Recently our Home Team has had some bad press, what with the Mas Selamat escape and the boo-boo of lax passport controls at changi airport and etc. Apparently there is a high turnover of the home team boys due to high stress and fatigue. Well, what greeted me at the police station is testament to the fact - I've never been to a station except one other time, and frankly, the place look tired, worn out and in desperate need of some renovation or interior design. The officers looked exhausted as well, and I really have my doubts if they could run over 400m to catch thieves without being winded. The work of an officer must not be too exciting, 2 other ordinary folks behind me came in to report a lost handphone and a change of address. For all the hoo-ha I thought was about a lost passport, I was sadly mistaken. My police station encounter was all of 5 mins of the following:

Me: I found a passport.
Officer: ok. So you want to make a report?
Me: Huh?
Officer: well, you want to report a found passport or not?
Me: Well, I'm just brining it in as the owner may be looking for it.
Officer: ok then. We'll just try to trace the owner. When and where you found it?....

And there it was. Officer scribbled location and time on a piece of scrap paper, didn't even ask for my name or contact details and promptly waved me on my way. Okay....so much for being a fine upright citizen. Ah well, I hope the poor chap is reunited with his passport by now, at least that would make my effort more worthwhile.

Motherhood?

To simulate expectant mothers, we had heavy thick blankets strapped to our waists as we went through an hour of pre-natal yoga class. Ok first thing is, this whole "swollen belly" thing really throws the body out of alignment. Bend forward? Uh, can't touch my toes, belly in the way. Bend sideways? Uh, got obstruction. Stand with feet together? Fergitaboutit. I think God is quite unfair, men should have a go at pregnancy too, how come they get to enjoy themselves during the act, contribute sperm and then live happily ever after? If I were God, everytime man made woman pregnant, the size of their testicles should shrink by half. Let's see who has the last laugh. Humph. Just the other day I was a Mac's getting a quick hash brown fix, when I spied a boy about age 7 hassling his poor parents and demanding in a tantrum and yelling at his parents, "where is my happy meal???!!!!!!", then stomps foot, yells "where is my Happy meal???!!!!!" whilst the counter staff hurried about to fill their orders. Dad was trying to appease the boy. Me, I just think this kid ought to be shot. No kid should be allowed to talk to his parents in this tone. Or, it simply means, parents these days don't know how to discipline their kids. Govt trying to encourage more kids? Better educate adults on proper parenthood first.

Things we do for $14

Biscuit's license renewal letter had come earlier in Jan, but somehow walked away before I found time to pay the bill. Nevermind, I'll be a little less anal and more cool I thought, a reminder letter will come. well it never did, but a $100 fine from the AVA did find its way to my door. Nevermind, I'll be cool and just write a letter of appeal, feign ignorance and send a cheque for $14. Another AVA letter came - prove to us that he is neutered it says. Umm, duh. Dear AVA, do you even check your database, i did send you the original sterilization cert you know? nevermind, I'll be cool, I'll just call the vet and have them send over another copy. All hassle came and went, and Bis is finally 'legalized' for another year. In retrospect, I should have just gone to AVA when the renewal was due to pay the $14, it would have been so much simpler. But I thought being a little less anal and just chill, as C would have done, would be a nice change. But frankly, the total exchange of 4 letters between AVA and myself, and the vet, just to prove Bis' eunuch status and get him legalized, is too much effort. Next year, I'll be sure to pay the $14 on time. Been there, done that, not worth the hassle.