C and I were comparing scenarios in which we could fire people. Not that I was going to fire anyone, but sometimes I'd like to imagine it happen to some less than effective people. Here's my 2 takes:
Scenarios 1:
Me: You work is crap. You agree.
Staff: Err...yes, I guess.
Me: It's a waste of company's money and resources to keep supporting employees who don't perform. You are one of those resource wasters.
Me: [looks staff in the eye] Should I tell you what to do about these resource wasters?
C thinks this scenario is uber sucky, since the likely ending will be ...Employee bursts into tears, resigns and jumps out the window. So instead of firing the staff, the staff ends up committing suicide. C very kindly suggests I should motivate the employee into thinking their talents are better utilized somewhere else instead.
Ok ok so here goes Scenario 2:
Me: You're a person with talent. It's just that the company doesn't know how to appreciate it. And your boss (me) doesn't know how to appreciate it.
Me: So it's not about you, it's just too bad you have a sucky boss.
Me: Since your boss is not going to leave the company, then I'm sure you agree your talents are better appreciated elsewhere.
By this time, C is rolling his eyes. Oh great. Brilliant, he says. Likely ending? Employee takes out knife and stabs sucky boss, and then kills himself. So 2 persons including myself dies, and no one is better off.
Man. In the old days it was much easier, just need only to say, "You're Fired!". Or, Henry VII's style, "Off with his head!!".
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2 comments:
or do it like the big corps nowadays, over the phone or u go HR.. easi.. no more tearful goodbyes or pen stabbing (yes tis happen, u dnt nid a knife to stab)...
you could also say.... here is a lolly pop, do what you do best...
Staff goes huh?....
W: " you suck'...
nuff said..
ohh yes... no sharp objects around your desk too!! just in case...alos helps if you get an office on the ground floor..
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