Disgruntled Moos

Life often takes a strange twist, I'd say. Was reading the sunday papers on how Margaret Chan, former food critic, and dabbler of the arts as a stage actress (and also a brief and forgettable role as a cockroach-crussssshing matriach in a very forgettable tv series) is now a professor of media studies at SMU. Somehow she managed to work her way through a PhD. Wah. Even more astonishing is brief statement in the article which states her offspring Cara is now a lawyer in Tokyo. Blokes n blazes! Now how did that happen?! Cara was a schoolmate of mine since primary school, and she was well remembered as one of the most academically dis-inclined student who always performed poorly in her studies. She's fail several subjects or be borderline at most. Best of all, she's ditsy like an airhead. However no one will argue when one says she is an extremely pretty girl even at a young age. Pretty does not describe her, she is really quite stunning. But an airhead nonetheless. I vaguely remember she moved to England to study after Pre-U. Maybe it did her some good. A lawyer indeed. Brings to mind Reese Witherspoon in Legallyl Blonde. Maybe she's that kind of lawyer.

Which brings to mind another startling revelation. Another classmate of mine from Sec school - school bully, well known toublemaker, rumbunctious tomboy and fearlessly ill-disciplined student who is every teacher's headache at school. Now a crime journalist with Straits Times. Even won the most outstanding young journalist of the year award some 2 yrs ago. Tanya Fong. Saw a pic of her once in the papers, she's actually wearing a damn skirt and has make up on. Un-effing-believable. Her English scores were quite the pits then, not because she couldn't manage the language, but she's plain and purely lazy. Somehow things have changed since she went to Australia for further studies. I guess, the overseas experience does do all these girls some good; and it's true what they say about the overseas acadamia being more forgiving, and more encouraging of the creativity and innovative side. The Spore system doesn't bring out the best in some of them.

Here I am - bright, hardworking individual cultivated and groomed under the local school system. And where am I? No outstanding award for anything, no cushy job in Tokyo. Not even moderately successful in career, considering I am some 3 years behind my original goals and objectives. Even the despised ex-bf who was a truant-playing student at poly is now working on his PhD. Poly girlfriends look more glamourous and dolled up than me. I'm really falling behind. I've achieved Auntie-stardom. Probably the only thing I can show off are my Tod's. They must be my most famed possessions. Ha ha.

To give my already low self-esteem a further blow, a recent strange conversation with C about the last meal before dying, I professed a wish to have something he cooked (if we were still together of course). That was flat out rejected, because he was certain I would turn my nose up and complain about how the meal was prepared. Ok ok so I do whine a lot, but hey, it's my DYING wish. I mean, it's grin-n-bear-it-geddit-over-n-done-with, and then, eternal freedom for him. Cannot even tahan ah? C said if it's just a normal ordinary girl he wouldn't mind, but since it's me, he wouldn't, because I would whine about the meal so much I would depart a disgruntled soul and haunt him forever. Sigh. I don't even measure up to some unknown stranger.

Someone just bury me next to Bis and Holly please.

Equation Power

Men are funny, they make excuses that don't make sense, but at least C had the cow-sense to look sheepish. We arranged to hang out after yoga on sunday, as usual, he was late. Antipicating that, I had no problems. Here's the gist of the subsequent conversation:

2.51pm, C: are you done yet?
me: yep
C: on my way, would you like a cheesecake?
me: no thanks
C: I'll buy a cheesecake for you, it's special.
me: Err, ok.
C: what flavour would you like?
me: just the normal type. how long would you be?
C: I'm at the shop now, I'll pick you up at 3.45pm.

..............to cut the story short, C arrived at 4.20pm, sheepish look, apologise profusely. I grill him like a sotong of course, part of me likes play-acting the poor aggrieved gf, and I think I do it quite so well. C hands me a box of cheesecake.....

ME: how come there are 3 pieces? I only need 1...
C: i didn't know what you like so I got 1 for you, and the rest you can give ur mom and brother.
ME: I thought you specially went to get cheesecake for me. So you saying I have same priority as my MOM and Bro?! (balls busted #1).

There's something about the equation of cow-munication, because somehow:

buy 1 plain cheesecake = buy 3 cheesecake in various flavours except plain.

I look in the box and I see only 2 cakes. So I enquired about the missing piece.

C: Ooops! wrong box, this is mine, so I got supper when I watched football tonite.

Me gives him the evil eye: So you actually went to buy cheesecake for YOURSELF, and to tried to throw me off by telling me you go all the way there to buy SPECIAL cheesecake for me.... (balls busted #2).

C stammers and yells, "but but but....ARRGHH...". Pulls his hair out. Oh yeah, I think I have him by the balls in a tight grip, twist them and squeezed them painfully. Fwahahhahahaha. I have the POWER. I am powerful. I am SUPREME. Bwahahahhaha.

C, sheepishly: Err......let's go buy durians.

Ok, let me rewrite that equation:

Busting balls = get super shiok durians

I have the POWER. I am SUPREME.

HA HA HA HA. Moo.

3 men and the real thing

My chinese drama chasing continues. It's a marathon of 1.5hrs per night and nearly 5 hrs on the weekend. Addiction is severe but not yet to the point of no return - still have enough sanity to go to yoga, walk and feed my dogs amongst other chores. Gotta admit, romantic twists in the plot makes the series a lot more watchable. After all, it's fairy tale living. In legend of Ping Zhong, the hero is suave, intelligent, capable, highly skilled, has integrity, will die for the female he loves, and still remains devoted like a puppy despite being rebuffed. Such men don't exist in real life. In Miao Cui Hua, hero is cool, stoic, highly skilled, level headed man of men, is a pillar of strength, but doesn't emote very well. But can be counted on to save the day every time. Such men hardly exists in real life. :P

Was having lunch on sat after yoga when a couple sat down next to me at the table, I didn't pay much attention since I had atom plugged in, reading a magazine. Not until the guy started conversing with his partner. Ohhhhmygaaaawd, what a voice. A deep booming baritone, so masculine. Very MAN. I soon realised they were japanese, his partner also a well turned out elegant older lady. When they stood up to move to another table, I managed to get a good look at him. WOWOWOWOWOW, what a man, rugged, chiselled looks, tanned, athletic and looks like a surfer type of the jaw-dropping variety. DROOL.

Actually, what I have for the real cow thing ain't bad either - tall, solid like a wall (no wind will blow him down, that's for sure), cool, smart, err...sneaky, funny, much loved by many women. Not sure about the will die for his beloved part but I'm nearly sure I'll be dead before ransom is delivered. Ah well, no one is ever perfect except in books and TV. Moo.

The Great Deceptions

Looks can be deceiving. While dining at a small jap curry joint tonight, C and I spied a sweet looking young lady at the corner with her partner. Fresh faced, good complexion and bright eyed. Aww, such a lovely lady. Until she opened her mouth, that is. Wahh, her shrill voice really grates. I mean, she speaks like a runaway train, poor C visibly winced each time she yammered on and on and on and on .....like she was powered by duracell. Apparently grated him so much his tooth hurts, ha ha ha. Listening to her tomboy speak, and her senseless debate, well, we figured out - either MGS, or Convent girl. Could be Rafflesian but lack the atas breeding, maybe SGS but they are more genteel. Well, still young mah. I think I was somewhat like that when I was in my early 20s too, NOT. :P

On the way home, we spied an ugly looking egg shaped car, a Toyota Porte at the Thomson rd junction. First time I ever seen this thing. There are some things that just need to be burnt on sight, says C. Looking at the pale yellow Porte, I definitely agree. It just looks like some 10 year old kid designed it, but wait, 10 yr olds have waaaaay better imagination and creativity than this. But while turning up to the PIE, C gasped in horror as he was suddenly overtaken by the ugly Porte. There's something to be said about a big guy driving a sporty car, there's an image to upkeep. And being overtaken but small little shits.....ahh....it's a sight to behold. Men and their pride. But lo and behold! Not 500m later we see the Porte coming up behind us again as we wait our turn at the junction. I had a belly laugh at C's yell of "Nooooooooooooooo!!!!!", the Porte kept following us till nearly the way home. Gotta admit, this young chap drives fast despite the teensy tiny wheels, but it's just so funny seeing my poor curried-beef's despairing expression as the little yellow fart tailed us. The whole thing was so ridiculous it's just hilarious. I swear if C belived he could light a fart at that moment he would, just so he could burn the thing down. hah.

Moo-moos of the Moo-lahs

GCB = Good Class Bungalows. New acronym I learnt while C was driving through the dark lanes of Chancery area on our way home. I've seen bungalows near the Caldecott Hill place, and they are huge. Chancery Road area....wow. It's almost criminal to own a plot of land and house (bungalow) that big in Singapore. GCB is not just any bungalow, it's THE bungalow, complete with sprawling gardens, long driveways and swimming pools. Bedrooms the size of my HDB flat. The houses are big, but on a huge plot of land, it looks like a tiny house in a big green field. They look like expensive, exclusive resorts. Very classy. I even saw one that has 5 luxurious cars in it's driveway. Man, they are so rich they can maybe even buy an island.

So here's the criminal part - some people have 5 luxury cars, some of the lesser ones have 1 continental car, and here I am, I don't even own a bicycle. That's a really sad state of things. Huge sigh. Ok ok so maybe I have 5 Tod's bags (err...actually only 4 I think). Man, they have so many zeroes in their bank account I can't ever imagine how I could make this much money except marry or murder for it. Cows for sale anyone?

Moo-moos of the Moo-lahs

GCB = Good Class Bungalows. New acronym I learnt while C was driving through the dark lanes of Chancery area on our way home. I've seen bungalows near the Caldecott Hill place, and they are huge. Chancery Road area....wow. It's almost criminal to own a plot of land and house (bungalow) that big in Singapore. GCB is not just any bungalow, it's THE bungalow, complete with sprawling gardens, long driveways and swimming pools. Bedrooms the size of my HDB flat. The houses are big, but on a huge plot of land, it looks like a tiny house in a big green field. They look like expensive, exclusive resorts. Very classy. I even saw one that has 5 luxurious cars in it's driveway. Man, they are so rich they can maybe even buy an island.

So here's the criminal part - some people have 5 luxury cars, some of the lesser ones have 1 continental car, and here I am, I don't even own a bicycle. That's a really sad state of things. Huge sigh. Ok ok so maybe I have 5 Tod's bags (err...actually only 4 I think). Man, they have so many zeroes in their bank account I can't ever imagine how I could make this much money except marry or murder for it. Cows for sale anyone?

Zen of Kong-Fu Cow

I love kungfu movies, I just do. Chinese martial arts films are my fav, always prefer them over the angmoh movies. Tsui Hark and Yuen Wo-Ping, yeah! Love their movies.

Now I've revived my dormant interests in wuxia drama serials. Was watching the Legend of Ping Zong on cable and the story is really not bad, too bad didn't follow the original novel by Liang Yusheng. Think the original tvb version by Michelle Yim and Damien lau better - had vague memories of the show in my young young days. Maybe I was around 10-12 yrs old then. Darn that cable only shows it once per week!! Waiting for the next episode my neck long long like giraffe leow. So, for the first time in 10+ years, I ventured into a the video (ahem, i mean vcd) rental stores of Poh Kim. Wah, really feel like a mountain turtle. Stood outside the store for like 30 secs before I even lifted my foot to tippy-toe in. Felt as if I was going to be swallowed whole. This reminds me of my first public library experience some 3 yrs ago after a 15 yr hiatus, and my first popular bookstore experience with the correction tape just recently. The world has changed and I'm still in twilight zone. Wah, the last time I rented anything it was still in VHS format. Now it's vcd leow wor. :O

They didn't carry the Ping Zhong series. So disappointed. But ended up with another wuxia series. Ok, gotta admit C is right about one thing - when I get engrossed with my drama serials, hygiene does drop a tad bit. Yesterday rushed home after work and sat down on the sofa from 7.30pm onwards to chase the series, didn't even move my arse until 10pm when I had to switch to Desperate Housewives. Poor dogs didn't even get their walk. After a rushed shower between commercials, switched back to the drama series 11pm till midnite. If I could, I would use my "inner strength" to propel my dogs to the kitchen to get fed so I wouldn't even have to walk there and leave the sofa. Guilty as charged. Hieee-yah!!