Love

Love is when one is alerted to one's dog behaving oddly in the wee hours of the night, walking around like a drunkard.
Love is when you give your beloved pet some privacy as he retches his dinner onto his bed and continues to the floor.
Love is when you understandingly and patiently wash the soiled items and mop the floor at 1am in the morning.
Love is when you realise either one or both dogs also peed on the rug (one takes a close sniff of the rug to verify. The familiar pong of stale pee. Euuwww).
Love is when you lovingly pet and soothe your pet as he hangs his head in shame and embarressment, his shoulders hunched and tears streaming from his eyes.
Love is when you reassuring tell your dog it's ok to retch in your room even as he struggles hard not to make a mess.

and meanwhile the bimbo is behaving like a bimbo as usual. Clueless and totally insensitive.

The Bis is getting old. And it's times like this it dawns that he has reached his senior years. Can't help wondering how much more we have left together.

Chubby Hubby's Spam Fries

Man. SPAM has never looked this good. Well, when it comes to Chubby Hubby, anything is possible. Dang it I'm vegetarian.

A Martian: Lazy vs Stupid

So Men from Mars and women are venusians. I think my Martian is from some part of a Mars village called "Don't move your ass". C lives in a nice row of terrace houses just 100 metres from all the glory of Katong food (chicken rice, laksa etc). So when one is hungry, I assume he could walk out and buy all sorts of good yummy food.

No. When C is hungry, he raids his fridge. What does he find? An old, unrefridgerated easter egg chocolate. A carton of milk of unknown origins. Orange juice of unknown expiry date. A packet of curry made from godknowswhen. And then he eats them all. Because he's hungry. Why can't he walk out to food places? It's too far away. Drive then I say, it's just round the corner. He says it's too much work.

The result? Massive tummy ache. The thing is, a sensible person would know not to ingest food when the combination will give a tummy ache. For C, when the choice is either go hungry 5 mins more drive out for food vs eat expired food now and get massive tummy ache. His choice is always the latter.

Go figure. Martians are dumb methinks.

Unless one has an iron stomach like Holly.

Martians and Venusians

Veron recently blogged about men from mars. True, most men are just single-minded, or rather, one track mind whereas women are apt multi taskers. In that context, C's opinion on H-bags are that if it was up to him, he'd get only one THE bag. Some grand cambodian newt crocodile foreskin that only 10 in the world are made. Why waste money buying several "entry level" bags? My answer? Women need several bags to match several occasions and outfits.

Sidetrack a little.

Recently while driving along the e'way, C spotted this strange sighting. Look closely at what's strapped to the pillon rider. See if you can figure that out.

Sidelines

Orange boxes are expensive. How to feed the habit? One suggestion was to ebay the dogs. Hmm. Guess Holly and Bis together could sell for enough money to buy 1 bag. Maybe. But hey, I guess a better solution would be to breed puppies.

1 puppy = $1500
5 puppies = 1 giant Orange box
10 puppies = 1 highly coveted Orange box

So ok, Holly has to start paying her dues. I'll just put up an ad for a stud dog. Ad looks like this:

Himbo needed to breed with Bimbo.

Then when the litter arrives, ad will go:

Dumbo puppies for sale. $1500. Rare breed. G'teed Pretty Dumb.

Patterns

Took my inventory outta the cupboards for some care and cleaning. Took also a "group photo" and frankly, some startling realizations:

1. There's not that many Tod's bags. Heng ah.
2. 40% the bags are off-white or cream coloured. The other 40% is beige/gold coloured. Remaining 20% either orange or yellow.
3. 1/2 the (working) shoes are white, the other half are black. There are only 2 pairs of shoes that don't belong to these 2 categories.

Subconciously I've been buying the same colours over and over again. It's easy to see why I can make decisions at the boutique so quicly, because I'm attracted to these colours and I don't "see" anything else. Even found a Tod's bag that I've never used and forgotten completely that I had. Ouch.

Thinking about it, even my first 2 H bags are off-white and the other a beige/brown.

Even my 2 dogs are brown. Does that count?

Hmmm hmmmm hmmmm.

Stupidity is a Virus?

C pointed to a little plastic knob on the passenger side of the car on the floor mat.

C: Help me put this back in, will you?
Me: Where?
C: There. See that hole at the side of the lining (points to lining of car floor, where the foot is).
Me: It's not going to fit. That hole is just a teeny gap (thin line) while this knob is round.
C: it will fit. Just put it in.
Me: [holds tiny lining hole, and pulls lining away. Spots the wires underneath. ELATED]. Ahah! See, I found a bigger hole, now the plug will fit!!
C: [looking in deep horror] ARRRRRRGHGGHGHGHGHGHGH!!!!!!! NOooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!! I asked you to plug the thing into the small hole and you rip off the entire floor lining???
Me: But see, now I found a bigger hole, which matches the size of the knob.
C: OF COURSE there is a bigger hole. The entire lining has been ripped off! ARRRGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGGHGH. Did Holly's stupidity rub off on you?
Me: ok ok. [Tries to smooth lining back]. There, it's back in. No damage.
C: See that hole there? THAT ONE.
Me: OOOOOhhh. THAT hole. Aha, now it fits.
C: Owwwww my aching head!

I couldn't help but laugh. Poor dude looked like he was going into an epilepsy and seizure when I pulled the lining out. But hey, nothing was damage right to his precious right? Hahhah.

A Fire, 2 dogs and the H bags

I was presented this scenario - if there was a huge fire, which would I save first? The dogs or the H-bags?

My answer - train the dogs to pick up the H bags and escape. If at all Holly can even be trained.....

C's answer - put the dogs in the H bags and run out. (When there is a fire, your strength and determination increases, thus die die also will carry both dogs and bags).

Veron's answer - save the bags. The dogs will run out by themselves anyway.....

well. Except for Holly. Who will just stare at us blankly as she holds on to the H bags (if she even has the brains to pick them up in the first place), while fire rages around us.

The next day's newspaper headlines: "Dog dies in fire while protecting owner's H bags".

As Veron rightly put it, outsiders will applaud dog's bravery and loyalty. Insiders will know she died from pure stupidity.

In celebration of Sisterhood

Uh huh. One for me, one for Veron and one for DD.

Taxes

Taxes from the taxman can be quite illuminating. It puts things in perspective like, how many Tods bags and shoes in taxes I have to pay the taxman each year. So what the heck, since I've to contribute the equivalent of several luxury items to Mr. Govt, might as well I indulge a little myself.

So there.

How to get a Birkin

This seems to be a favourite question in the Hermes forum - how to get that (supposedly) elusive Birkin. Notable credit has to be given to a certain member who proudly declared one can get birkin easily from Paris, for Eur 5090 nett VAT. Of course it helps when one's FIRST CLASS flight is FREE, courtesy of miles redemption.

Our answer to that statement? Read below:

Ans #1.
"Wah, only Eur 5,090 for a Birkin? What a CHEAP bag!".

Ans #2.
"You mean you actually had to PAY for a Birkin? I didn't know that. I inherited both my Birkins. So it's FREE. Thought everyone here would have inherited theirs".

Ans #3.
"I inherited my Birkins. So it's FREE, and I didn't have to redeem any miles for that".

Ans #4.
"My friend has willed me their birkins. So when I die, I'm gonna have my ashes placed a bit here and there in each bag".

Death and Taxes

and so I thought after the staggering injury by the Kelly, I could finally start anew.

Until I received my income tax bill, that is.

Big sigh. Feel like a frog trying to jump out from the bottom of the well.

And there I was working to hard to save and scrimp on lunch spends, coffee expenses, and even my proudest moment ...no indulgence at all this GSS (no, not even a single Tod's anything).

Taxman has no mercy.

More Yoga

Will start to teach at the Iyengar Yoga Center, my classes are on Sat afternoons, and Sunday Mornings!

2nd solution

Veron's solution to my Circular Reference dilemma below? Answer - buy over my neighbour's flat.

Hmm. 2 HDB, is that possible?